One evening, while sitting around the dinner table, a little girl looked up and asked her father, “Daddy, you’re the boss, right?" Her father was very pleased by this and replied, “Yes." Then, the little girl continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?"

Q. Do dads always snore?
A. No, only when they are asleep!

Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Dad Say
- Well, what do you know? I’m lost. We’ll have to stop and get some directions.
- Well, honey, you are thirteen now. I bet you’re ready for un-chaperoned car dates!
- I like all of your friends’ “Up Yours" attitudes.
- Here are the keys to my new car. Oh, take my credit card, too. Have fun!
- Football? You want to play football? What about figure skating, son?
- Mom and I are going away for the weekend. Would you like to throw a party?
- No, I don’t actually know what is wrong with your car.
- Son, let’s go to the mall and get you an earring.
- You don’t need a job! I have plenty of money for you to spend.
- Father’s Day? Don’t worry about that. It’s no big deal!

Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water?
But I’ve already given you ten!
I know, but the bedroom is still on fire!

Junior had just received his brand new driver’s license. To celebrate the special day, the whole family went out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his first official drive. Dad went immediately to the back seat, right behind the newly licensed driver.
“I’ll bet you are back there to get a change of scenery, right? After all these months of sitting up here, teaching me how to drive?" Junior said to his dad.
“Nope!" said dad. “I’m going to sit back here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you’ve been doing to me for sixteen years!"

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads!