One of the challenges an editor must face is polishing the work of an author without erasing too much of that author's style. If you follow a particular novelist, you might notice over time particular quirks to dialog and narrative that shape the author's unique voice, little things inspired to endear readers over time. It may be a method of relaying a specific dialect, a favorite phrase used in more than one book, or even a mechanic style one doesn't often see in certain genres.
Fantasy authors, for example, may feature characters that communicate by thought. To enhance this phenomenon to the reader, use of italics denotes what is being thought, rather than said. Some authors may take this device and imprint a unique style by adding asterisks or other characters to further emphasize the story. Other books may use different fonts to express and highlight different aspect of their tales as well.
An author should be unique in writing style, and should possess a voice that attracts readers and inspires them to want to seek out books that mimic yours, rather than leave them guessing for whom you take after. That said, there are a number of tics that readers (and editors) may find more annoying than amusing. In the spirit of previous articles on the subject of style, I hereby submit three more personal nitpicks of mine: devices and phrases I have seen in bestsellers and small press offerings. The following are not necessarily incorrect or improper, but may cause distraction if overused in a manuscript. Grab a pen and proceed with caution.
1) There was no other word for it.
I can't tell you how many times I have suggested in edits that authors strike this sentence from their works. It is common narrative, used mainly to emphasize shock or surprise as felt by a character.
When Brian pulled the gun on her, Darlene was flabbergasted. There was no other word for it.
You think so? What about shocked, galled, puzzled, speechless, amazed, surprised, or bewildered? A quick search in the Thesaurus may produce more suitable words to describe how Darlene is feeling, standing there at the end of a gun, wondering if her life is about to end. Quite personally, were I in Darlene's situation, one other word would come to mind...it's about four letters long!
Is this phrase used incorrectly? Not really. Taking the scene from Darlene's point of view, there could be no other words to say. Having a gun pointed at your face doesn't necessarily inspire anything verbose outside of screaming in fear or gasping for breath. Is the phrase necessary? Not really. As a matter of personal opinion, tacking on "there was no other word for it" seems rather superfluous in this situation. If there is no other word to describe what Darlene is feeling, why not leave the scene at flabbergasted? Why add on dressing to an already tense scene, when brevity better evokes a sense of doom?
When Brian pulled the gun on her, Darlene was flabbergasted. She grasped the doorknob for support and pressed a hand to her chest to keep her heart from bursting. "What are you doing?" she finally cried.
Continue with the action of the scene without unnecessary words getting in the way, and keep Darlene alert in front of that gun.
2) Heads-a-hoppin'
When I send manuscripts for evaluation, one thing I ask readers to look for is concise differentiation of point of view. Are scenes constructed in a manner that one point of view is presented clearly? Otherwise, does the narrative appear too jumbled with too many voices shouting to heard over the others?
In fiction, third person point of view is easily the more popular style - over first-person, where the story is told entirely by one character, either a lead (e.g. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum) or an observer of the leads (e.g. Fitzgerald's Nick Carraway, who tells the story of Gatsby and Daisy), and the rarely used second person (see Bright Lights, Big City for an oft-used example). Within the third person point of view are two distinctive styles: limited, which presents the story told from the perspective of a character based only on what he/she knows, and omniscient, where the character's perspective of things is broader. In the case of omniscient point of view, the narrative might not even be told from the perspective of an active character, but an outsider watching and sensing everything that happens.
In a book written in the third person limited point of view, the perspective does not have to be limited to one character. In romance especially, point of view may switch from the hero to the heroine at various intervals. In mainstream fiction, perspective may expand to a number of core characters. Other books, especially cozy mysteries, limited the perspective to that of the sleuth, while a more intense thriller may also get into the head of a criminal.
However you decide to tell your story, it is strongly recommended to keep the perspective limited to one point of view within a distinguishable scene. In other words, avoid the device known as "head-hopping," where point of view changes so swiftly within a passage that the reader might not know who is thinking what. While telling a story from different points of view is acceptable, it is suggested to make the shifts obvious so the reader can keep track. Head-hopping can be distracting to readers, and especially to editors who might decide the manuscript is too muddled to fix in a reasonable amount of time.
3) Dot-dot-dot
And now...we come to a device overused more than the comma...the ellipsis. Yes, there is actually a name for the "dot-dot-dot" that follows a trailed away thought, a break in conversation, or a tease into a sudden action. Used properly, the ellipsis indicates an omission of words; for example, if you have ever seen a movie ad where Roger Ebert proclaims American Pie is "The best film...of the year," there is a good chance the film's PR people are spinning critics words and exaggerating praise. For all we know, Ebert really said, "The best film to walk out of when you're sick. Lord of the Rings is the best film of the year."
In fiction, I often see ellipses unnecessarily used, whether to enhance a character's flighty thought or conflict, or merely to make the prose more dramatic. In truth, words are better at doing that, and I would strongly advise any author who wishes to overdress his fiction in dots, dashes, and other superfluous characters to think twice. Stay to an active voice and let your sentences flow.
Take this advice as you will. As writers, you are the most comfortable with your style, but as you submit to editors and publishers they may not find that same level of ease you enjoy. Be judicious with punctuation and other devices, and tighten that manuscript for a future sale.
* Have you ever read a book in your life!!
* Your characters are TSTL (too stupid to live).
* Is there a lower score than 0 for Manuscript Mechanics? I'd give it to you if I could.
I mean, you only have three published books, a Master's degree in English, and a job editing making $90.00 per hour. You sit in front of your computer screen, blinking at your returned critique, your eyes still frozen on those four little letters TSTL.
You take a deep breath and head for the chocolate to comfort yourself. Then it hits you. Just who judged this entry anyway? You return to your computer and find it was an unpublished/trained critiquer. You give a huge sigh of relief. Whew! Who cares what they think. But then you realize that this critiquer is still a reader. Oh, no. Your shoulders sag.
Who Make the Best Judges?
I'm sure we all agree it is not the grudge judge—another author with a vendetta against contest judges. STAB! STAB! STAB! It is also not the author who knows nothing about writing and wants to gain all their experience by reading someone else's work. (All comments left blank.) Maybe you're saying to yourself you would like every judge to be either an editor or a multi-published author. That may not be the right answer either. Surprised?
Many published authors and editors lead very busy lives. They don't have the time to provide a lot of critique. It's hard to get exactly what a critiquer is telling you with a 3/5 score unless they leave a comment because only then can you learn.
The best judges tend to be those who take the time to point out their reasoning for their scoring with kind explanations (notice I said kind). They also point out positive strengths about your work.
Why Judge a Contest?
You can learn a great deal about writing from reading. (I'm sure you've heard that one before.) A good place to do it is reading contest entries. We all know how important those first few pages are, and boy is it easy to spot someone else's mistakes. The more you are willing to help others see their mistakes, the easier it will become to spot them in your own writing.
What Makes a Good Judge?
Of course it is someone who will put a little time and thought into it, but here are more specifics:
* Critique doesn't mean to criticize. The definition of critique is, "an instance or the process of formal criticism". But come on. Do we really do that to each other when we are face-to-face in our critique groups discussing our own work? What I think any writer is looking for is good honest help—constructive criticism.
* In one of my entries a judge was so critical of my characters that she said the heroine was an air-head and the hero was a moron. I had given the heroine the character flaw of being spoiled by a rich, over-protective father and the hero an unknown diagnosis of ADD which both characters overcome by the end of the book. It is also a light-hearted comedy. Did the judge take into account that I said my hero was an expert in his field? Hmmmm. Did the judge take into account that the heroine was escaping a controlling father, starting a new business, and had bought a run-down home that needs restoring? Not sure.
* There again, you as the writer need to determine whether to take a judge's comments with a grain of salt or decide whether you haven't done your job telling your story.
The Dos and Don'ts of Judging
1. What's in a point? A numbering system is a great way of scoring, but what does it really tell us? Sure the contest coordinator has assigned general comments to each number like a score of 5 means, "READY FOR SUBMISSION" and 1 means, "CHUCK THAT SUCKER IN THE GARBAGE". Something like that.
Don't plan on judging if you can't back up that number with a reason for it. It needs to be valid writing criteria—something specific. If you can't identify to the writer what is wrong, how are they going to learn from it? And if you can't identify what is wrong, how are you going to learn?
2. Don't get a bighead. You are on a roll, marking up that manuscript left and right. You want to help this writer become the next best-selling author. The fact is, you still haven't considered you may not know everything there is about writing yourself. Think humility. Sure you want to point out what you know but try not to come off like Mr./Ms. Perfection. Remember to make your comments, but realize they are your suggestions to the writer--not the Ten Commandments.
3. Have a heart. A writer can learn from what they're doing right, not just what they're doing wrong. It never hurts to point out what a writer is doing well. It can only make them better, and it makes you both feel good.
You are not going to be happy with every judge who scrutinizes your work. Being unhappy with their critique doesn't mean you can't learn from them. If you receive two low scores and one high on dialogue, don't be so conceited that you assume the high score is accurate. From these three assessments you should know that your dialogue needs work. Sifting out important information is what we do as writers. If a judge tells you your characters are TSTL and you don't agree, you need to decide why the judge would make such a comment.
After years of writing romantic suspense with serious subjects of murder, abuse, etc., I decided to write a much more light-hearted, humorous book where the villain wouldn't go so far as to kill and the characters are a little less serious about the situation. Because it still has a protagonist and the heroine's life is in danger, I submitted my entry under romantic suspense. The judge criticized my villian as weak and my hero and heroine as being dim-witted.
Should I throw the book away? On the contrary. Instead I analyzed the bigger picture of what was being said. I realized I was targeting the wrong genre.
Now you can head to the freezer for that box of ice cream but this time to celebrate. You've learned that even the raunchiest critique can benefit you if you look for the positive in it. On the other hand, if it is really malicious and you just can't figure out anything positive the judge could have been trying to tell you, then print it off, rip it to shreds, stomp on it, and then set it on fire. That should help.
Both Kathryn Lively & Cindy A Christiansen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.