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[E212]Emotional Intelligence And Goleman
by Byron Stock, Byr
Joe's Story

Joe (not his real name) works as the Director of Engineering for a company that invents methods to improve refining processes and oil extraction. They then lease the patents on those methods to oil companies. By applying the EI skills he recently developed, Joe was able to contribute to his company's bottom line.

While on his way to meet with a customer in South America to renew a $15 million contract, Joe learned that the customer wanted to reduce the contract fees to $12 million. On the flight down, Joe was feeling anxious and worried about the meeting. After all, $2 million in revenue and an important customer relationship were on the line.

Recognizing his anxiety, Joe applied a few simple EI techniques he'd been taught to transform those feelings into more positive, productive thoughts and emotions. As a result, he came up with several positive options he could present during the meeting.

Although the meeting went quite well, one individual hampered the negotiation process, picking over the details and questioning every point.

Instead of becoming defensive and frustrated, Joe drew upon his EI training, handling his own emotional reactions to the man's objections. He ended up convincing the oil company to agree to additional services and process improvements and to sign a contract several million dollars over the original contract.

Emotional Intelligence is not about being soft. It's about a different way of being smart. It's about managing yourself and using your emotions to positively lead others; to engage not just their head and hands, but also their hearts.

Putting EI Into Action

You feel the effects of emotional turmoil daily. What can you do? You can take action to develop your own emotional intelligence.

Start by increasing your emotional self-awareness and asking yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" several times a day?" Notice that the question is not "how" but "what" because we tend to answer the question "How am I feeling?" with the word "Fine" which tells us nothing.

When you figure out what you're feeling (such as anxiety, happiness, anger, excitement) you can use that information to help you decide what you should do or not do next. Simply put, with this information, you can more effectively make decisions.

Then, openly describe your feelings. If you're feeling concerned or anxious about an issue, recognize those feelings by disclosing them and sharing them. Typically, when anxious, people will find fault or find some point to object to: "Those numbers can't be right."

Instead, the more emotionally intelligent thing to say is, "I have to tell you, I'm feeling a bit anxious about this decision.By disclosing your feelings, you give your team more information about you and your view, providing them with greater insight into your perspective. Discussing feelings improves communication and sets the tone for cooperation.

Third, get some EI skill training. Combining formal classroom sessions and coaching sessions improves the likelihood for successful EI skill development. Be sure the training is skill-based, that is, provides not only information about EI but also the chance to practice skills on real situations. And, be sure that the provider has documented quantified results. Business decisions are based on measured results and decisions on selecting training should be based on the same criteria.

Source:

1. Daniel Goleman, "What Makes A Leader?" HBR, 1998.

Concealed emotions, also called facial "microexpressions", are the fleeting expressions that, believe it or not, you make when consciously or unconsciously trying to hide your true emotions. In conscious microexpressions you may be trying to lie, while with unconscious expressions, you may not even be aware of what they are truly feeling.

Paul Ekman, Ph.D. has made a study of these microexpressions. According to Ekman, "These expressions tend to be very extreme and very fast. Eighty to 90 percent of people we tested don't see them."

Ekman was a Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco for 32 years. His original focus was on "nonverbal" behavior, and by the mid-60s, he concentrated on the expression and physiology of emotion. He has developed a secondary interest in interpersonal deception as well. Perhaps his most famous publication is the The Facial Action Coding System (FACS) which is used by law enforcement and intelligence agencies everywhere, as well as parents and therapists who want to be able to understand people around them better.

"With my children, spouse, friends and work associates, if I don't understand how they're feeling  either about me or about (things) that may have nothing to do with me when we interact  then I'm not going to have a very useful exchange with them," Ekman said.

He has conducted extensive research on identifying emotions through facial expressions. As part of that research, and as part of the power of discipline and training, he learned how to consciously manipulate 42 facial muscles, including many that in most of us are beyond our control, and even awareness.

In the 60s and 70s when Ekman began looking into the universality of facial expressions, all the major contemporary social scientists, like Margaret Mead, believed that expressions were culturally learned, not innate. He proceeded traveled all over the world with pictures of people making distinct facial expressions and found people in cultures everywhere, from modern to stone age, agreed on the emotion behind the expression. He then turned to studying the production of these expressions and the 43 facial muscles that can create 10,000 expressions, which form the basis of his training.

He found seven universal emotions with unique facial expression. The emotions are: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, happiness, surprise, and contempt. At least five of these are shared with non-human primates as well. Interestingly, the smile is the easiest expression to recognize, and the easiest to identify from afar. These emotions have a specific trigger, come quickly without thought, and interact with your physiology - meaning merely making the fear expression will create a fear response in your body as well. With fear, neurons will signal your body to prepare to flee by sending blood to the large voluntary muscles in your legs. In anger, on the other hand, your brain signals your body to fight by sending blood to your hands. Try practicing on yourself: can you feel a change in your emotional state by making changes in your facial expression?

Emotions have distinct triggers and learning those triggers is an important step in understanding your own emotions and why you respond the way you do. To date, the best way to learn to recognize the the impulse that was triggered before the awareness of the emotion is contemplative practice (meditation). Also, an important point to clarify, emotions are not moods, which are longer affective experiences have an unclear trigger (you may not be sure what sparked the mood you're in) and tend to filter your view of the environment.

Based on primary and secondary research, he found that there are seven emotions expressed in the face in universally consistent ways: Sadness, Anger, Surprise, Fear, Enjoyment, Disgust, Contempt.

Even more interesting: according to his research, feelings and facial expressions influence each other. This is, not only a sad person will naturally look sad, but a person who intentionally smiles will feel more content than a person who doesn't.

Now, would you please smile ...

Article Source : Pg. 2

About Author
Both Byron Stock & Alvaro Fernandez are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Byron Stock has sinced written about articles on various topics from Emotional Intelligence, Vitamins and Emotional Intelligence. Tailoring the art and science of Emotional Intelligence (EI) to your needs, Byron Stock focuses on results, helping individuals and organizations enhance , leader. Byron Stock's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.

Alvaro Fernandez has sinced written about articles on various topics from Aging, Brain and Aspen Travel. Alvaro Fernandez is the CEO and Co-Founder of SharpBrains.com, which provides the latest science-based information for and. Alvaro Fernandez's top article generates over 201000 views. to your Favourites.
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