Studies have revealed that men are emotionally more vulnerable when it comes to divorce than women. This is because of a host of reasons:

• Women have deeper bonding with other women, so there is a ready support base to fall back upon. Men have a lot of buddies to hang out with, but few friends to whom they can really talk.



• Women usually win the children. So they do not have the complications associated with losing custody of one's own offspring. In fact, this was revealed to be the greatest fear that men have pre-divorce in one of the surveys.



• On the other hand, most women are very worried about money, since they knew they would be hot financially, and would have to continue spending for the household and children. When one is too busy with struggling for the basics of food, shelter, child education, maintaining house and other matters of daily existence, wallowing in grief is an unaffordable luxury. Men have less responsibility after a divorce, which leaves them with more free time than before, in which they can brood and get depressed with factors that had not been noticed previously.



• The average male is still not used to keeping house. Whether he moves out or continues in the marital residence, the man is not sure how he should be managing things now. This confusion heightens his loneliness and stress.

Let us now look at the kind of emotional effect that divorce could have on a man.

Substance Abuse and Binge Drinking

This is the worst fallout possible. Substance abuse is more common among younger men (below forty five) while binge drinking seems to be a general scourge in Britain. A good portion of the divorced male population of the country believes in drowning its sorrow at the pub or in drinking alone at home. The tendency to get addicted is also higher among divorced men, as surveys have proved time and again. The idea is to reach a stage when one is too inebriated to feel the pain any longer and can let the emotions play themselves out in an unbridled way.

Stress, Anger and Guilt

A man does not cry. Society expects him to hide his grief. But society does not mind if he is angry or stressed. So the unexpressed grief and anger translates into stress. This is augmented further by a strong guilt, as divorcees in general tend to blame themselves, but the men cannot express their emotions while the women can cry it out. It all gathers up inside, leading to health problems such as hypertension, high blood pressure, heart problems and nervous disorders.

Loneliness and Withdrawal Symptoms

The family has flown the nest, the friends think you are depressing company and people at work have no time to be understanding. Where would a man turn to for succour in a moment like this? In most cases, he is forced to withdraw into his own shell to cope with the loneliness, and becomes cut off from the rest of society. These symptoms are very common and manifest in several ways. But the point is that men cannot voice their need to be rescued of such a situation. So they are forced to be prisoners of their own silence.

Suicide

When there is nowhere left to run, where do you go? Men commit suicide much more than women after divorce out of the pressure of all the factors mentioned above and also another important factor. Men are generically more prone to violent reactions than women, so many kill themselves as an immediate reaction to the divorce itself. It is not very surprising. Imagine coming back to our sad, empty apartment after the hearing is done and the wife has left with the kids for another town. And imagine then wondering why you would even bother to go on with the meaningless existence after all this. You are a failure. Isn't suicide logical then?