Waiting to adopt a child can seem like the endless journey without a map. One way to make the time go faster is to go ahead and start an adoption scrapbook album. Journaling your thoughts about the waiting process, the things you've bought, the home study, etc. will all help you feel like the arrival of the child is the next step. Plus, you'll begin to see why recording your thoughts will be so precious when your child arrives.
Don't get overwhelmed with the idea of an adoption album. One of the best places to begin is with a long list of topics about your adoption experience. These kinds of lists can be found on a variety of web sites, including my own, which has over 150 topics.
Decide what style of book you want. You can buy a hard-cover book at your favorite bookstore that resembles a typical baby book. Or you may want to consider purchasing a pre-made adoption album, or even hiring a freelance scrapbooker to do a pre-designed book for you. One of the best options in my opinion is the Adoption Scrapbook Album which is twenty pages of overlays, where you get to choose five that specifically fits your child's experience. These transparency overlays make your book look like it was designed by a professional, but with the price tag of doing it yourself.
Go buy your stickers and other embellishments. Though few mention adoption, you can find a lot of stickers that mention family, baby milestones, love, and life events. These can be helpful to fill in spaces and add some style.
Have fun writing down the day-to-day stuff and taking photos of silly things. Now with digital cameras you can take dozens of photos of things a close up of Cheerios to the pile of laundry. The more creative photos you take, the more fun you'll have journaling. Later on, you'll be glad you wrote and photographed about the uneventful stuff too and your child will love reading about it.
Be imaginative, but don't get obsessive. Unless you want to make new friends, don't join "cropping parties." Buy a decent paper cutter, only cut your photos with straight edges (avoiding circles will save hours), matte your photos using solid-color card stock, and purchase the patterned paper in bulk (craft stores call them "slabs.").
Write it down now. It's a good idea to get the adoption scrapbook album done sooner rather than later so your toddler can look at it, at least start keeping notes as you go so you will have lots of journaling ideas to choose from. Purchase a small notepad to carry around in the diaper bag so you have it handy when you want to write down something that happened or just record your thoughts.
My son turns five-years-old in a couple of week. The first year of his life I grew so weary of strangers telling me, "It goes so fast." But now I am one of those people smiling at little babies and gushing to new moms, "Cherish this time. It goes too fast." Adoption is such an extraordinary experience. It is so easy to think that you will remember every emotion you ever have when you look into your sweet baby's eyes. But come on... our brains can only hold so much. Our children do grow up so quickly, so record those cherished memories now before you forget.
1. What is your payoff?
What is it that you really get from self-defeating behaviors and self sabotaging attitudes? Is it negative attention? A reason to go back to being miserable and avoiding change? Ask yourself What is REALLY going on here?
2. Stay away from events that set off extreme emotional reactions.
Most people relapse back into old destructive patterns because of their inability to handle emotional stress. Extreme emotional reactions can provoke a drug or alcohol relapse. If you can't avoid this situation, at least try to get a realistic perspective on it. Ask yourself How important is it really?
3. Take a look at your past.
Just don't get stuck there. Try to identify where your belief system came from. Once you have identified where those defeating attitudes came from, let go of them. It is OK to acknowledge the past, but not to use it as an excuse to continue your behavior into the present.
4. Question your desire to stay in the role of a victim.
Again, in recognizing the past, we're not denying that bad things have happened to you. Try reclaiming your personal power by reframing your experiences as a source of strength. Not everyone has gone through what you have and survived. The process of personal growth is about regaining self empowerment.
5. Stop blaming people.
Being the victim and blaming others, results in one particular sneaky, self destructive attitude. That is the attitude of not needing to change. Self improvement is all about change, but, if everything is always somebody else's fault, why do I need to change? In the victim role, it is poor me, look what they have done to me, I couldn't stop it from happening. In that case, I will always stay the victim and never change.
6. First thought wrong.
Man, do I hate this one. People who have a habit of self sabotaging have got to come to accept that they are never upset for the reasons that first come to mind. First thought wrong. Let's examine the underlying issue. Ask the question of yourself, 'What's really going on here?' Sometimes we will take those negative thoughts and try to make them come true by doing something really destructive. We create a self-fulfilling prophesy.
7. We need to change the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Stop the negative self talk. Start thoroughly and rigorously questioning where your beliefs and perceptions are coming from. Don't judge yourself as you're doing this, become willing to let go of those negative thoughts. Stop defending your right to be wrong.
8. Are you done suffering yet?
Just as this question is a key motivator to move into personal change and regain your self esteem, this question is a prime motivator to start changing our self-defeating attitudes and actions. Nothing changes if nothing changes. How much longer are you willing to keep stepping on your own feet, tripping and falling down? Perhaps it is finally time to stop the suffering and pain.
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Lisa Copen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Wellness, Parental Care and Video Games. is a quick, easy way to create a personalized lifebook. Use transparency overlays and friends will rave--even though you aren't crafty. Lisa Copen's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.
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