Anytime someone needs help but refuses to accept it, a family intervention is appropriate. A family intervention can be used for people engaged in any self-destructive behavior and especially appropriate for addicts. Intervention is the most loving, powerful and successful method yet for helping people accept help. A family intervention can be done with love and respect in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental manner. A family intervention is often the answer, the only answer. It can be done. It can be done now.
It certainly is not an easy decision to make when you are considering intervention for a loved one's problems. But if you are able to handle it in a loving, caring manner, you will be giving that loved one a gift that they will appreciate - eventually! The first thing that needs to be done is that all family members and friends who might be able to make a difference must agree on a time and place to meet. It's a good idea to contact a professional counselor to help you.You may initially be apprehensive and confused. Members participating in the intervention may be ambivalent about whether or not to actually do the intervention. Some may be afraid of the person, others may be angry. The goal is to move from this disorganized and chaotic state to a cohesive, focused group.
To do this, the participants meet with the leader beforehand to educate themselves about the dysfunction, to determine how to best help themselves, and to prepare for Intervention Day. This includes identifying others who should be involved , exploring appropriate treatment options, and preparing what they are going to say.
This preparation often involves several meetings, telephone calls, and culminates in a practice session immediately prior to the Intervention Day. The time varies, but the process is usually contained within one to two weeks. Sometimes it can be shortened to a weekend. It is important for all of you to meet prior to Intervention Day so that you can discuss what steps will be taken and how you will be approaching the person you are trying to help. Remember that you need to work together as a unit and decide what will be said beforehand. You then need to get the person you want to help to actually show up. This can be accomplished in many ways. Use your imagination and say what you have to in order for the addicted person to arrive at the designated place.
There is no absolute right way to intervene in someone else's life. In fact, there is a school of thought that argues that any form of intervention is abhorrent, a violation of free speech and of an individual's right to choose. Nevertheless, as individuals and as a society we are always influencing others whether or not we want to, and sometimes we decide to intervene purposefully.
Based on an article, "Starting up on a shoestring" guide are some suggestions to keep business from ruining relationships and three rules to follow when borrowing from those closest to you:
- Forget a straight forward loan and tie the financing to equity.
This is tough for most entrepreneurs, especially bootstrappers, who avoided traditional investment in the first place to maintain control of their companies
As U.S. Computer Group founder Stephen Davies told the article:
"The toughest thing is making a conscious decision to accept dilution of your ownership in order to get the capital you need. But when you're seeking money because you've exhausted other cash resources, instead of simply to pursue growth opportunities - you've got very little choice."
- If you do decide to borrow from someone you know, sign a promissory note just like you would when borrowing from a bank describing a schedule for repayment plus interest.
The three basic choices here are: 1. Equal monthly payments - The same idea as financing a car paying back a fixed amount over a certain period including interest and principal. 2. Equal monthly payments and a final balloon payment - You start out with lower monthly installments and pay back most of it at the end. 3. Interest-only payments and a final balloon payment - You pay the interest in installment and the principal at the end.
Three rules to follow when borrowing from family and friends, according to Charles Bodenstab, president of Battery & Tire Warehouse, St. Paul, Minn.: 1. Give each contributor a letter acknowledging the loan or investment 2. Pay an attractive interest rate (Figure in what it would cost to get the money elsewhere or be late paying bills) 3. Include a provision for paying the money back instantly upon request (This will be hard for bootstrappers who need the money to get started but certainly would go a long way in establishing trust)
You may have heard growing up as I did that mixing business and family relationships can be a recipe for disaster.
It's a fact, however, entrepreneurs, particularly bootstrappers, seeking to avoid more conventional outside funding, have often used this form of financing successfully. Also, there are benefits to both borrowers and lenders in this relationship and that family problems connected to the loans can be avoided with proper planning.
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