The one thing all parents think about and worry about with their newborn baby is SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. SIDS is a sudden unexplained death of an infant under the age of one. Even after a complete autopsy, examination of the scene where the infant died and a reviewing the medical history of the infant, the death cannot be explained. The typical situation would be a parent would go and check on the baby while it slept only to find that the baby had passed away. A seemingly healthy happy baby has died. Maybe it is a lack of answers that makes SIDS so scary. It is the leading cause of death in infant ages one month to one year. SIDS claims about 2500 lives a year in the United States alone.
SIDS is not preventable. The parent can reduce the risk by placing the baby on their back to sleep. When the "Back to Sleep" campaign started in 1992 the SIDS incidences dropped 40%. Do not use a bumper pad, make sure the mattress is firm and no pillows or toys. Avoid using heavy blankets. Make sure the room temperature is comfortable for the baby to sleep in with just a light blanket. SIDS is not suffocation and it is not caused by vomiting and choking. SIDS is not caused by colds, infections or by the DPT immunization shot or any other immunizations. It is not contagious or caused by child abuse or neglect.
SIDS death happens quickly and usually during sleep. SIDS is not very common in the first month. The highest occurrences of SIDS happen to infant's ages 2 to 4 months and drops significantly after 6 months. Most cases of SIDS are reported in the fall and winter months and it happens to boys more than girls. Infants who are from an African-American and American-Indian decent have a higher risk of SIDS.
If you are a mother-to-be make sure you get prenatal care within the first three months of pregnancy and then get regular check ups at your doctor's office. You will need to make an effort to have good nutrition. Don't smoke or use recreational drugs. Take every precaution not to get pregnant as a teen. If you are a teen and have already had one baby, try not to have another until you are older. The SIDS rate is highest for the babies born to teenage mothers. The more babies the teenage mother has the higher the risk of SIDS for that infant. Try to wait a year between pregnancies. The shorter time between pregnancies the higher the risk.
For parents who already have a baby, don't expose them to tobacco smoke. Don't smoke in the house or car or allow your baby in a house or car that has tobacco smoke in it. Breast feeding decreases the occurrence of respiratory infections. Breast fed babies have a lower occurrence of SIDS. And use the tips above for putting your baby to bed. Make sure your baby has regular check ups.
Very recent studies have shown that babies who go to sleep with a pacifier have a lower risk of SIDS. While babies can be brought to bed for nursing make sure you put them back in their crib or bassinet. Keeping the crib or basinet in your bedroom has also been linked to a lower risk of SIDS.
There are maternal risk factors as well. If the mother is less that 20 years of age, there is a short interval between pregnancies, late or no prenatal care. If the mothers smoked during and after the pregnancy there is higher risk. Placental abnormalities, low weight gain, anemia, alcohol and substance abuse and a history of sexually transmitted diseases have been linked to a higher risk of SIDS.
First of all stay calm. You will be adding fuel to the fire if you lose your cool. A parental blow up can also terrify your child. Your child will already be off balance with their tantrum, they will be in balance with your calming influence and reassurance and love. This calm approach will not work immediately and will not be easy to pull off but you will eventually see that your efforts are being mirrored in your child's increasing self control.
Speak softly. Try to fight the temptation to scream over your child. It will only encourage them to scream louder as they try to recapture the center stage. A gentle and soft tone of your voice will show that you are in control and it will help your child to regain composure. Also being unable to hear what you are saying, they may quiet down out of curiosity about what you are saying to them.
Never resort to physical punishment. This is a bad idea at any time. You would be punishing the child for something that they cannot control and because you too could lose control and cause serious injury. Don't try to reason with your child during a tantrum. Your out of control toddler is well beyond reason. Logic will be lost on them, so save the rational explanation for rational times.
Try to protect your toddler while they are having a tantrum. A toddler who is kicking and screaming will not be aware of their surroundings and could hurt themselves. Make sure there are no objects in the way that could possible injure your child. Also make sure that will not be any damage to the store or their property.
Attempt to express some empathy. Not sympathy. Say something like, "I know it is hard not to get something you want, I too get upset sometimes when I can't get what I want". This is empathy. Saying you're sorry is sympathy, don't go there, that could make it worse.
Holding your child tight, don't squeeze too hard, but a firm hold may help your child to hold it together, a firm hold can also dissolve anger in them and in you and often will turn into a hug when the tantrum passes.
One of the best methods to help control a tantrum is to ignore it. They may get it out of their system faster. This approach is especially effective if the toddler's demands are outrageous and you suspect that they know that as well as you do. Go about your business and make it obvious that you are not paying any attention. When you begin to systematically ignore their tantrums, they may increase for a while and then eventually your toddler will discover that it is not worth getting all worked up when there is no audience and then the tantrums should become less frequent.
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