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[L586]Loss Of A Loved One
by Chad Wiley, Cha
Specialists in the field or psychology, term this phase as the "denial phase", when the bereaved soul refuses to accept whatever has happened. For example, a teenage daughter on losing her mother might start acting as if her mother is only normally asleep and might try to wake her up. She might refuse to use the words "dead" or "gone" for her beloved mother. To help her overcome this phase, she must be taken to the grave proceedings to visualize the finality of death, which might reinforce the reality she was trying to elude. But, most important of all, she must be allowed to take her own time to come to terms with the truth. Forcing matters on her, might worsen the situation.

This phase is often followed or coincided by the "anger phase". At the sudden loss of a loved one, one tends to get angry at the situation, as one is then faced with a future one did not expect. This anger is generally directed towards destiny, the Almighty and who ever one thought did not do enough to save the life that has ended. When this anger is directed towards one's own self, one often becomes depressed. More so when the anger remains suppressed. It is very important at this stage to express the anger. Family and friends around should be sensitive and should try to discover if any frustration and anger has accumulated in the mind of the person at loss. If they find trace of any such frustration, they should help at the anger getting expressed. They should keep vigil of the fact that the bereaved mind does not turn destructive in anger. The individual at loss should himself or herself try to get the anger out of his or her system by screaming, yelling or even cursing.

This phase is often coincided or followed by the ever-critical "depression phase", when the bereaved mind is filled with a feeling of hopelessness as it is now when the individual first realizes that his or her loved one is never going to return. Letting go often proves to be very depressing. Some people overcome depression fast, while there are some who take really long to do so. But an aggrieved soul may not necessarily mean a clinically depressed soul. If only the grieving period seems to be a bit extended, accompanied by the refusal to accept support, loss of self-esteem and physical abnormalities, medical help should be sought. One should not shy off from seeking professional assistance. In the depression phase, it is normal that one will feel like crying one's heart out. One should not be ashamed of doing so. Tears are generally healers. But again, if this continues for months, medical assistance should be sought.

A journey, through all these phases, normally brings the aggrieved mind to the "acceptance phase". Even as it continues to love and miss the deceased, new days bring newer meanings and it accepts death as an unavoidable truth. It admits the fact that the loss was meant to be. Once the realization comes that "I am alive after all and I have to move on with life", one tries and learns to live without the lost one. Books, songs, movies and journeys, that shift one's perspective from one's own grief to the wider connotations of life, often assist in bringing about this acceptance phase without much difficulty.

OK, let me get back on track. As I'm sitting here, I hear a lady behind me talking of her past depression. She mentions she felt so lonely after her dear husband passed away. In her own words, 'her whole world fell apart.' She said her husband handled everything in their marriage such as the money, bills and auto maintenance. After he passed away she became overwhelmed with all the finances and other responsibilities she now had to deal with, not to mention the fact that she was still mourning the death of her husband.

This conversation got me to thinking of how many people deal with the painful loss of a loved one.

Many times when a loved one passes, those left behind might not immediately feel the effects of that loss. It has not 'hit them' or 'sunk in' yet. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to react to the loss. Some may try to stay strong or hide their feelings in front of others. But when the funeral is over and the family and friends have returned to their homes, the person may break down. It finally sinks in. Some sink into a depression so bad they close themselves off from the rest of the world. They take extra time off from work and even turn down invitations from family and friends.

Isolation and self-pity are never the answer. It's okay to mourn. Even people in Bible times mourned when they lost loved ones in death.

A few examples of this include:

* King David who was grief stricken when his son Absalon died (2Samuel 18:33)

* Abraham bewailed the loss of his dear wife, Sarah (Genesis 23:2)

* Even Jesus himself, who was a perfect man, 'gave way to tears' over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35)

So this shows that there is a sadness when we lose a loved one to death.

Then thing is to not dwell on everything. Keep busy. Get involved in other things such as hobbies. Get you mind off the loss. The memories will always be there but they don't have to be painful.

Another thing that can help you deal with your sorrow is Bible reading. God, being the loving God that he is, helps his people to endure the extreme sadness and grief that comes with bereavement. God's spirit helps us to have peace and faith in the wonderful future promised in his Word the Bible.

The Scriptures refer to God as 'the God of all comfort,' so we can be sure that he will give us the strength we need and not let us be overwhelmed by sad thoughts about our dead loved one.

Knowing all this should help us realize that we are not alone in experiencing the pain of our loss. Others have been through the same thing. In time, the pain will subside. The world is not going to stop for our broken heart. Life will go on. Things WILL get better.

So knowing all of this and the fact that even the perfect man Jesus went through this as well, should help us to deal with the painful loss of a loved one.

Article Source : Weight Loss Product

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Both Chad Wiley & Anna Allen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Chad Wiley has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dogs, Join the Army and Depression Cure. Nations #1 Provider of Cremation Services. Chad Wiley's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.

Anna Allen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Computers and The Internet, Lose Weight and Marketing. . Anna Allen's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.
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