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[L663]Low Self Esteem Teenagers

by Steven Griggs, Ph.d., Ste

Low self esteem? What does that mean? High self esteem? How are they different?
Self-image is a collection of messages we have taken in about ourselves over a very
long period of time. If the messages are predominantly good ones, the average
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem for ourselves, is good.
We have a good self-esteem. If the messages are predominantly bad ones, the average
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem we have for ourselves,
is bad.
Self-esteem emerges out of the zillions of individual "introjects" (inputs we
"inculcate;" that is, take in, own, identify as real about ourselves, etc. over the
entire span of our lives.) It starts accumulating from day one and never stops evolving,
for good or bad. If you consider the dynamics of this process, believe it or not,
both low and high self-esteems are formed in the exact same way. Only the content of our
minds vary, which has a crummy effect on our moods.

In the beginning, individual events have a huge impact on our self-esteems. That's
because we are vulnerable, like most children are, and also because there are less other
images in our skulls with which to average the new, incoming message. So, one or two
new messages has a greater impact on the average experience we have about ourselves.

Near the end of life, we have zillions of messages already in place, bouncing around
inside our heads, most of them neatly catalogued in the back of our awareness. This
creates a more robust, less modifiable databank. In other words, it's harder to change
self-image in older people just by putting in new ideas, because there are already too
many old ones in place.

I've developed a technique that uses some specific thoughts to change our feelings.
It turns out it's not our thoughts that change self esteem. It's our feelings.
And, feelings can be manipulated by consciously bringing up certain strategic thoughts,
thus changing the feeling (because feelings follow thoughts in adults). You control the
thoughts and you're your feelings change, you strategically apply the feelings, using the
new feeling that comes in a specific way. It's a combination of two nifty techniques
and they work--far better than the usual superficial techniques offered in the
pop-psychology literature.

It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem has been crummy for a little while or
your whole life. You're not going to try to change the whole ball of wax, just one
thought at a time. I tell you how. It's actually counterintuitive. You have to
start small and work up, not think big and try to generate a trickle-down effect.
The latter fails.

It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem is very, very bad or just a little dinged.
Same technique works equally well for both.

But you have to understand the rationale behind this breakthrough idea, and for that,
you have to read more of what I've written.

Hello, I've been an outpatient psychologist for over twenty years. I've come
across eight psychological conditions that I see every day. Self-esteem is one of them,
and it's one that permeates all the other seven. Improve self-esteem and the others
improve, too. Below are some links to take you to my webpages, where more details are
provided.

Thanks,

Steven Griggs, Ph.D.

Over the last decade, low self esteem for children and teenagers is growing extremely fast. If you are like most parents, what you want more for your kids is self-confidence. They will tell you that academic and athletic come 2^nd on their wish list. Without self-confidence, it is extremely hard for children and teenagers to achieve any goals, resist peer pressure and deal with adversity. Ultimately, without self confidence, it will affect directly their overall happiness and career success.

How can you help? The most important part of your job as a parent is to provide love and affection every day. All children and teenagers will benefit as they feel love by their parents. It is important that you realize that love and affection alone it is not enough to build their self-confidence. They need 2 more ingredients in order to help them achieve self-confidence. They need People Skills and they need Character.

A lot of people think that either you have people skill or you don't. That could not be further from the truth. If you did a survey and surveyed people with people skills and people without, you would find that the main difference is the way they were raised. People skill is certainly very difficult to learn if you don't learn it at a young age. That is why you should start with your children as soon as you can. Start with the basic technique. Teach them how to greet people, to look people in the eyes. When they become a teenager, you should add a firm handshake to what they should do. Teaching them how to listen well and not to be afraid to ask question will also be a good for them. There have been many studies done that shows people skills represent 75% of their success vs. 25% is technical knowledge. Don't diminish the importance of your children learning math, read and writing but the emphasizing on their people skills will go a long way towards their overall happiness and career success.

Developing character is an extremely hard thing to do. It takes a lot of commitment to teach it, be accountable to it. This is the second item your children and teenagers will need in life. Start as young as you can to teach them about integrity. Being honest can only bring good things for them. Teach how to behave in today's society. What is accepted and what is not. Knowing that will help them both on a personal level and later in life, on a professional level. Also, you could have self-confident children or teenagers but lack character. This will result with your children to not resist peer pressure, potentially affects their personal relationship and professional life.

Why is it that more and more children and teenagers lack people skills and character today? It is mainly due to 3 areas. Today's technology, the pop culture and academics emphasis are the main reasons. The technology today, having access to e-mails, test messaging, cell phones, video games create a void in personal human contact which you can only improved by meeting people face to face. If you look at movies, cartoons, music videos and how it affects our children and teenagers, you will understand why it is another reason why people lack people skills. With the disrespectful gestures and expressions used today. It teaches our kids to behave the same way. It makes our jobs as parents much harder. Also, in today's schools system, the emphasis in on academics. They do not believe people skills and character are priorities and therefore they do not focus on it.

There are many things you can do to help your children and teenagers to build their people skills and character. You should emphasis the importance of people skills before they interact with others. It could be on the way to school, to visit family or friends etc. Re-emphasizing greeting, eye contact and a firm handshake every time. Next, be a good role model. Remember, your children are always watching and listening so you should always act the part. Last, look for third party help, children, specially teenagers can tune you out so if you can find material, book, cds, dvds, that way they can teach themselves as they become an adult.

Today's generation is not learning people skills or character development. We do not hesitate to get help for our children for any other subject. So let's remember what will ultimately help our children and priorities correctly so our children and teenagers never suffer of Low Self Esteem.

To learn more about how to Overcome Low Self Esteem or Signs of Low Self Esteem, visit http://www.squidoo.com/overcoming-low-self-esteem-tips

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Both Steven Griggs, Ph.d. & Ghyslain are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Steven Griggs, Ph.d. has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing, Cure Anxiety and Health. For more information about this ebook and the other ones by this author, go to:For more information about th. Steven Griggs, Ph.d.'s top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.

Ghyslain has sinced written about articles on various topics from Self Esteem, Software. G.A.S.C. is an online product reviewer. To learn more about overcoming low self esteem, visit http://www.squidoo.com/overcoming-low-self-esteem-tips. Ghyslain's top article generates over 6600 views. to your Favourites.