Having a poor self esteemis a condition we all suffer from at times, so smaller, transient versions shouldn't bother you as much. This is true if your self-esteem takes a "hit" right after a disappointment, when some expectation goes south. In these cases, self-esteem recovers after the events run their course. But there is another condition that bothers some of us most of the time, regardless of what events occur. This form of crummy self-esteem has to do with how we were brought up, the tons of messages we received about ourselves and how we crafted a "unifying principle" as a form of identity to make sense of all those messages. This experience with selfdoesn't just "go away." It's very stable and resists efforts to modify it. It affects most interactions with others and can contaminate any relationship. It pops up in families but also with friends, acquaintances and at work. It requires some attentionand to do that, one must understand its genesis (origins and creation). One has to understand how it works its way into everything we do and more importantly, how to cancel its effect. That's the point of this article. Hello, I'm a psychologist in private practice. I deal with self- esteem every day and over the last two decades, I've come up with a series of techniques that change it--very much for the better. They work from the inside out, working with the feelings, not the thoughts we have when our self-esteem takes a hit. different approach and as it turns out, a much more effective one. You have the ability to alter your thoughts, not so much so directly with your feelings. So, I show you how to alter your thoughts in a very specific way, using what call the Anchor Concept. By design, the Anchor Concept is a different kind of thought, engineered by you to be used strategically when you need it. You use it to alter your feelings by managing a specific thought, particularly the one's that drag down your sense of self. Alterning feelings is what changes self esteem, one thought, hence one changed feeling at a time. I show you how. This isn't about doing "positive things" or surrounding yourself with admirerers. These techniquess don't work. They aren't efficient at getting down to the nitty gritty and they don't last. No, to change self-esteem, more is needed and that's exactly what I write about. The ebook is called "The Four Powers of Self-Esteem," which gives you an idea of how many categories you will learn about. If you know nothing to start out, not to worry. I've created my own test to measure your self esteem, its strengths and weaknesses. All you have to do is follow my thoughts. I do all the work This stuff works on all of us from the inside out. I spent a lot of time writing this ebook so that it works.
Dr. Griggs
I recently watched two close friends interact over a misunderstanding. It was fascinating. Let's call them Ann and Bea. Ann invited Bea to a Friday overnight retreat and she accepted. They usually saw each other on Saturdays at a self-help group that I also attend. However, at the meeting the week before the event, they didn't get together to finalize their plans because Bea was indisposed. She assured Ann that she would connect with her by the middle of the following week.
The entire week went by and Bea never made contact. Ann chose not to do anything about it. The day of the retreat, Friday, came and went. Shortly before our scheduled meeting on Saturday, Sue called to say she was going to be late. Ann checked with me and we agreed that was fine. Then, Ann asked her what happened regarding their Friday overnight. Bea was upset when she realized she had forgotten all about it.
Ann suggested they do it that night and Bea agreed. They met and from what I have heard, had a wonderful and very special overnight together.
What I found amazing about their interaction was the complete absence of either making the other wrong, and I loved watching to see what their joint efforts produced in recreating something meaningful for them both.
My experience has been that most of us get into some variety of emotional entanglement when something like this happens. We come up with "how could you" and "it's too late now" stuff. Forgetting is often interpreted as a slight and if it is brought to light, being reminded of it is seen as criticism.
It seems to me that being too adaptable sets a person up to be walked on and being too rigid causes a lot of problems to escalate. People pleasing bring us too quickly to the "oh, that's all right" kind of position, and being too insecure makes us prickly pears to deal with.
What I saw my two friends do was to step back and reassess. They were honest with themselves and each other and looked for a possible way to repair the issue. I don't think it's always possible to do that but if we take a moment to digest and access the circumstances, there's probably a much greater chance that we will respond in a sincere and mature way to such surprises.
Humans ere. It's not a truth we like, but we have to work around it. Seeing ourselves as imperfect--while still doing our best--offers the possibility of seeing others in the same light. In the circumstances that I have described there was no "bad guy." What a relief! They acknowledged the problem, put their heads together, and resolved it.
The next time I'm surprised in a way that feels negative to me, I'm going to borrow my friends' tool chest and see if I can work with whomever I'm relating to in a win/win way. When we change ourselves, we change the world, at least our little corner of it.
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Steven Griggs, Ph.d. has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing, Cure Anxiety and Health. For more information about this ebook and the other ones by this author, go to:For more information about th. Steven Griggs, Ph.d.'s top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
Luise Volta has sinced written about articles on various topics from Work From Home, Health and Business Intelligence. Luise Volta's life has included careers in nursing, teaching pre-school, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting, and dairy herd testing. Visit for. Luise Volta's top article generates over 22200 views. to your Favourites.