?Americans cannot understand when their wives or their family reads their mail or listens to their telephone conversations. Russians have absolutely no respect for privacy. The Russian language does not even have a word for privacy.?
I can't tell you how disconcerting it was for me to find that my wife had found and read letters I had sent to other women. Not that there were any smoking guns or anything I was particularly ashamed of in those letters. It was more the idea that she had violated my privacy.
She has no idea what the word privacy means. The letters weren't sitting around, waiting to be read. They were filed away. My wife felt the need to investigate her new home. Trust me, when you get married your home becomes her home and she feels entitled to go anywhere in it.
Not only was she not embarrassed about violating my privacy, she felt compelled to discuss the content of my letters with me. She would also open written correspondence addressed to me through the post office. She was reading my mail.
My feeling is that if you read correspondence that is not addressed to you, then you are responsible for dealing with any uncomfortable feelings that come up from reading it.
My feeling was that if you want to open my bills, then you can just go ahead and pay them.
There Is No Russian Word For 'Privacy':
Again, I didn't have anything to hide. I was just shocked. I never had anyone open my mail before. This became a source of disagreement between us.
My wife claimed she was just trying to ?understand American life.? I accused her of being a budding KGB agent and ?checking up on me.?
If wasn't just my wife. Her Russian girlfriend would come over to our house, use my computer to get on the Internet, and would then read my personal correspondence.
Her girlfriend would feel free to discuss the content of my letters with my wife.
If you think this is an isolated case, I assure you it is not. If you think that this will never happen to you, you are wrong. If you think that you are going to be able to discuss this rationally with your wife, you are mistaken. The only thing you can do is take precautions beforehand.
I assure you that every Russian woman is a budding KGB agent. I don't even think it is just Russian women. I have many acquaintenances who are married to American women and many of them do the same thing.
One American woman divorced her husband because she ?discovered? that her husband was looking at porn on the home computer. Apparently she found a list of the websites he had visited. It wasn't anything that the FBI was going to put him in jail for, but he ended up divorced just the same.
Personally, I'm not rationalizing his behavior. He probably isn't the best human being in the world or the worst. However, there are lessons to be learned here.
It's probably best to stay away from personal vices on the home front. Of course, if you can't enjoy yourself in the privacy of your own home, where can you enjoy yourself?
The number one rule is that you must handle your responsibilities. This sounds easy on the surface, but lets examine it a little further.
This doesn't mean that you handle things at your level of expectations. It means that whatever you take responsibility for, you must master. It means taking care of things at the highest level, not at a minimal level, or somewhere in between.
The exact responsibilities you take on are negotiable between you and your wife, but usually to your Russian wife, they mean taking care of the bills and taking care of home repairs, and other typical men's responsibilities like car repair.
Probably she sees her primary responsibility as taking care of the house and the family. Your wife will be evaluating how well you handle your responsibilities. You should strive to achieve the highest level possible for you to avoid criticism
-- criticism that is justified.
Sex:
Another thing that you need to master is to give her the best sex you possibly can. I am not going into in-depth detail on this subject in this book. I am only going to offer you three small pieces of advice:
First, whatever you are doing ? SLOW DOWN. If she needs to replay it on video in slow motion because it happened so fast, you have not achieved this goal. Learn about foreplay and take your time.
When you think you have achieved this goal, you are halfway there. Slow down even more. Your wife will appreciate it.
The second piece of advice is that you need to learn to love oral sex. Why? Because she does. And I don't mean oral sex for you, I mean for her. Learn how and practice it often. Practice until you master it.
Lastly, take a shower before sex and brush your teeth.
Be A Good Listener:
When she wants to talk, you need to listen. That means if she wants to talk NOW, turn off the television and listen to her. Don't just put it on mute and keep looking at the game on the screen.
You need to continually show her that you love her. You do this by doing little things for her like leaving love notes and remembering special occasions. Telling her that you love her every moment you can. Think up new and different ways to show her how much you care.
Remember what was covered in giving gifts ? lots of small ones. Women are quantity oriented. The gifts don't have to be expensive. Things like sending her a love note for each day of the week is enough. Be creative. Don't always do the same thing.
Despite what women say, they don't want to hear you talk about your inner most fears, doubts, and concerns. You are the rock that they are depending on. Talking about these things only undermines your position and you appear unreliable.
I'm not talking about not dealing with problems or lying or cheating. This is about not talking about your insecurities. Not only do you need to appear strong, you need to be strong. Talk to your good friends, your father, or your spiritual advisor about your insecurities, not your wife.
Make Dates With Your Wife:
Take her out to dinner. Take her to the lake, or ocean, or mountains for the weekend. Keep things mysterious. Surprise her with things she will enjoy.
You need to work hard to stave off boredom in your marriage. Relationships take work. The work isn't over once you get married. It's only beginning.
Some of us not only get in a rut, we move in and furnish it. Be conscious of this.
Really, the topic of tools to satisfy your wife should be the subject of a book all by itself. This section is merely to give you an overview of the topic.
The real point of all of this advice is to remind you that the work of wooing, winning, and wedding the woman of your dreams does not stop once you get married ? it is only the beginning.
The real work takes place after the wedding. Keeping your wife happy and your relationship intact is the key. Learn from men who have been married a long time. Watch what they do and don't do.
You will learn a lot from them. They have mastered the art of making their wives happy.
John Kunkle has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family, Wedding Bells and Green Card. John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman h. John Kunkle's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.