The dilemma we are faced with, however, is how to gain self confidence when we lack it in the first place? The key to genuine self confidence is to experience success. This is not as difficult to do as you might think. Many people set themselves up to be discouraged by making it hard to succeed. You can make it easy to succeed by breaking down your larger goals into smaller ones that you can more easily achieve. Make sure that you enjoy each small achievement and your self confidence will increase.
Self image is another important concept of self confidence. If you have a poor self image, your self talk will probably be negative. If you are constantly criticizing yourself and you feel like you are never good enough, you are making it very difficult (if not impossible) to succeed. A low self image is often the by-product of the messages we received as children but it can also be the consequence of the devastating blows we can receive as adults such as divorce, job loss or business failure. We have to learn from our mistakes, however we don't want to get stuck in a cycle of self blame as it can be a slippery slope to despair and depression. As motivational speaker and author Tony Robbins says: "The past does not equal the future." Look forward, not backwards and begin to work towards a brighter future.
People also affect our self confidence both positively or negatively. The simple decision to spend time with friends and family members who are positive and supportive and to avoid spending much time with those who are negative will lead to increased self confidence.
The way we respond to feedback is another important factor which will influence our level of self confidence. While it is certainly true that we need to see ourselves as inherently worthy, we need to avoid over-confidence or arrogance. We are all unique individuals who have something special to offer the world. This understanding will help us to develop the sort of positive beliefs, values and thinking that will strengthen our self confidence so that we can move forward successfully in life. However, all criticism is the result of negativity. Some criticism is very valuable. Be willing to listen to criticism, pay attention to information you can use to improve as a person and throw away the rest. Your ability to respond maturely to feedback will help you become the best person you can be. Likewise, your ability to discern unwarranted criticism and disregard it will keep your self confidence intact.
The way you speak to yourself is also very important. Positive self talk will give you the confidence and belief in yourself to step up to the challenges and opportunities of life and undertake them with courage and excellence. Negative internal dialogue, on the other hand, will keep you from even trying. Be willing to monitor your thoughts and actively choose to think positively about yourself and your abilities.
Your self image is intimately tied to your destiny. Most people let their minds run amuck, unaware that their thoughts and feelings about themselves are actually writing the story of their lives. We have to guard against thoughts of failure and inadequacy. If we aim high and believe that we are capable of achieving our goals we will have set ourselves on the pathway to success. The power of a positive vision cannot be underestimated on this journey. Where do you want to be in five or ten years from now? Write down your vision and turn it into goals.
It is easy to get into the bad habit of thinking negatively. To overcome this habit you will need to make a concerted effort to focus on your positive traits. Keep a note of your strengths. What sort of compliments do people tend to give you? What would you like to improve about yourself? Take charge of these areas and make a plan. Taking action will automatically shore up your self confidence. If you make a habit of thinking and acting confidently (no matter how you feel) and limit your contact with people who criticize you or belittle your dreams, you will become a far more self confident and successful person.
By applying these strategies and taking responsibility for your life, you will find that you will become a naturally self confident person. Furthermore, it will be a genuine and deep self confidence that can stand firm under the storms of life.
The state of self confidence is hard to describe. You may not always be sure when you are feeling confident but you always know when you aren't! For many confidence is a state that is close to self-belief or having the knowledge that you can do something well or will have a positive outcome when undertaking a venture. Howeevr, it is much more than this. Let me explain.
Self confidence begins with trust. It is trusting in your own abilities, strengths and attributes. It is the ability to take action and succeed. It is also the ability to take action and fail without allowing the failure to reflect badly on your own internal self of identity.
The true essence of self confidence lies in faith and belief. The belief in your own abilities. It is having a sense of self worth and feeling no less than anyone else. Self confidence means that no matter what happens you know that can deal with it. It is really having a sense of Self. Knowing that you are OK just as you are, and knowing that your imperfections are part of what makes up "you".
So what leads to a lack of confidence?
Well, each of us have a self-protection mechanism built into us, and although this is much needed, it can cause untold damage in other areas of our lives. There is a self protection program that is hot-wired into the brain and energy system of every living thing. Its role is to protect us. It protects us from dangerous situations by accessing memories and reminding us of the previous discomfort!
Let me explain with an example. If you touch a hot coal you get burned and you know not to touch it again - your self-protection mechanism kicks in. If you encounter a red-hot coal in the future you keep your hands and body far enough away so you don't feel the burning sensation and the pain associated with it. Your subconscious mind programs into your brain the fear of getting too close to hot coals. This memory, or just the fear and pain connected to it, is immediately evoked and sent to the conscious mind by the subconscious when it feels you are in danger of getting burnt. This mechanism, for self-preservation, has protected you from an infant. However, as we will see, it can work against in a myriad of ways.
Let's look at one. Say that, in the past, you tried to perform a task and failed, only to be ridiculed or laughed at by peers, family, friends or authority figures. This may have embarrassed you and made you feel inadequate. Your subconscious mind automatically stored this scenario and the emotion associated with it in your memory through, what are called, schemas. These are neural networks in the brain that fire in sequence and send electrical impulses to the body telling it to release certain chemicals (which produce emotional responses). A neural connection is made between the memory of the event and the emotion you felt at the time. The problems arise when you are faced with a similar situation in the future. The subconscious mind immediately activates the schema and the neural network begins to fire. Thus the subconscious mind replays the memory and the original emotions are evoked in order to protect you! This is done purely so that you do not feel belittled again.
For example, you may have tried to paint a picture. Those who were in your vacinity at the time may have chuckeled or made fun of you. This caused you embarrassment and the feeling of being ostracized like the "odd man out". You lacked the approval of your peers. The subconscious mind immediately stored this information in its memory banks ready to be replayed in the future. 20 years later you still have a desire to paint but won't even go to a night class to learn because the thought of painting brings forth the emotions of disapproval, embarrassment and fear. The subconscious mind replays the emotions associated with the old memory even if you can't recall the actual event ever having happened. Your subconscious mind is, in effect, saying "don't paint or you'll feel like this again!".
Usually such emotional memories stem back to childhood from the time when you were most impressionable but not always. You can just as easily encounter such problems when you are an adult and the key to protecting yourself from such negative influences is to develop a better sense of yourself and build your confidence. This is at the very core of all personal development and self improvement techniques!
In reality you have no idea what the outcome will be when you start something new . As an adult, you should be able to try new things without the fear of what ridicule, or condemnation from others, would do to your confidence.
Self confidence is having the ability to feel the fear and do it anyway. In reality you have no idea what the outcome will be when you perform a task that is new to you. By developing your confidence however you are much more likely to expect a positive outcome. Should you not have the outcome you desire you are then capable of looking at the situation realistically, determining what you need to learn and develop in order to succeed at it or at least be able to accept the fact that your are not suited to the activity without "freaking out" about it.
Many people believe that you are either born with confidence or you are not. The truth is we are all born confident! You cried when you wanted something and believed you were so important that you would get it. You tried to walk several times while falling knowing that eventually you would get it. This is confidence. Unfortunately this kind of confidence is usually programmed out of us but it is your NATURAL sate. It's time to get it back.
Firstly, you should be kind to yourself. Don't expect perfection. Do you think Tiger Woods got a hole in one the first time he played golf? Even if he was born with a natural aptitude for playing the sport it is most likely that when he first attempted it he was not very good as he lacked the skills and knowledge of more experienced players!
The thing that builds your confidence is trying things that you haven't done before. Try to do something that scares you. People with confidence are willing to try new things not because they know they will succeed, but because they don't give into their fear. If there was no fear or uncertainty then there would only be knowing! Self confidence is not about being certain of an outcome it is about being uncertain but believing in yourself enough to have a go anyway.
The good news is that there are strategies and approaches you can learn to build your confidence level to a new all-time high. Once you learn these and begin to apply them you will feel better able to try new things and enter new situations. Then as you begin to succeed and realise that the world didn't stop spinning because you faced your fear, you will gain more and more confidence.
I would seriously advise you to seek out some tools to help accelerate your confidence building. Hypnosis and emotional releasing techniques can be invaluable. The personal development industry has a myriad of products and you should pick one that resonates with you. However, you have all the power within that you need to change yourself from the inside out. Make the decision now to face one fear a week and do it. Your confidence will grow stronger than you could ever have imagined.
Both Kevin Sinclair & Michael Mcgrath are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Kevin Sinclair has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Personal Development Plan and Ezines And Newsletters. Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of , a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and de. Kevin Sinclair's top article generates over 450000 views. to your Favourites.
Michael Mcgrath has sinced written about articles on various topics from Hypnotherapy, self improvement and motivation and Hypnotherapy. Full products reviewed for free. Find out what you need and don't waste money on bogus personal development fads be. Michael Mcgrath's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.