You've broken up with your ex. A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back. What relationship advice can help? In a break up, the feelings of love and intimacy you had for each other got replaced by feelings of anger or hurt. Where you were feeling loving and intimate you started feeling mad or betrayed. Good feelings got replaced by bad feelings. So you fought and broke up. This is just what happens in relationships all over the world. But then you started feeling regret. After a day or a week or two you started to feel like you missed those feelings of closeness and connection. The angry or hurt feelings started to get replaced by other feelings. So lets look at this truth about feelings. For the most part, intense feelings like anger dont last. They change! You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice. Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us. You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling change. But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck. The can last a lot longer, can't they? If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame. These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them. They aren't shifting or changing very much at all! So how can you use something like Emotional Logic to help get back with your ex? Simple. You can help them to vent, to get those bad feelings "off their chest." Help them to get them out. So, when you talk to them, ask how they are feeling about what you did or the break up. Then try to be quiet and give them time to form up their emotions into words and "vent" them. Dont argue. Dont defend yourself. That just creates more argument. Instead, make them feel heard and understood. Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released. Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you. There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in "spilling" and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life. Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can!
Obviously I don't know the exact reason, but I can tell you that there are three common reasons women leave relationships. They are: feeling unappreciated, boredom and endless arguing.
Women need to know they are appreciated. Could it be that you were too picky? Perhaps you would continually point out what she didn't do instead of acknowledging the things she did do. Do you think your ex felt good about herself when she was in your company? Perhaps these issues are the reason she dumped you. Women who feel appreciated and great when you are around are unlikely to leave.
Relationships usually start with fun and excitement. There is so much to discover about each other that each day seems like a new adventure. Once the excitement starts to die down the relationship tends to become boring.
To ensure that boredom doesn't sneak into the relationship couples should never rely solely on each other for entertainment. Allowing your girlfriend to pursue her own hobbies, interests and friends while you do the same means that when you are together you always have fresh things to talk about.
Not surprisingly, endless arguing is a major cause of couples breaking up. No one can or should live in this sort of environment for long. In many instances the arguing is about something quite trivial that started over some sort of misunderstanding.
Arguments need to be layed to rest as soon as possible even if you have to respectfully agree to disagree. Not hard to do if the argument was over something minor. To avoid an argument in the first place maybe you could resist expressing your opinion when it is not asked for and let her sulk and stew on things for a while instead of trying to solve her problems.
If you relate to any of these reasons you have made the first positive step in getting your ex back. Forget about crying, pleading or harassing her. Even if you did get your ex back with those tactics the relationship would not last for long . Your relationship will stand a much better chance of success if you acknowledge the problems and take positive steps to fix them.
Both John Laney & Sharon Reid are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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