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[G238]Getting Your Ears Pierced

by Kenrick Cleveland, Ken

A very large part of being a good persuader is being a good listener. Being a good listener is something that some people are naturally good at, some people, not so good (and still others, quite poor). So if you are eager at becoming a good persuader, sharpening your listening skills is absolutely mandatory.

When you listen actively, you are not formulating your arguments or answers in your head as they are talking. You're actually listening while they are talking. When they are done talking, that is the time to formulate your response. There are both verbal and non-verbal indications that you are listening -- for example, eye contact is a big one (if you're in person), same with nodding or smiling or other facial or physical agreements. If you're on the phone, you'll give verbal prodding, like an occasional 'um hum'. Listening requires also that you ask pertinent follow up questions.

The power of listening is most apparent in persuasion when we elicit our prospect's criteria and core values. We ask the question, "What will having X do for you?" When we ask this, we prepare ourselves to listen. We unlock the core values and criteria of our prospects and clients and in order to gain full advantage, we have to hear what they're saying and not be off in our minds thinking of what we're going to say next.

After we get the the first part of their criteria and dig even deeper to get the ultimate criteria, we are also paraphrasing back to them, exactly what we heard them say. "So, what you're telling me is, having X will do this for you" or "As I understand it, what you are looking to do is have more Y in your life". . . These follow ups show our prospects and clients that we understand what they are looking for therefore building more trust and getting them to reveal even more of what makes them tick.

Taking this a step further, if your prospect replies to you with auditory, kinesthetic or visual words, you can ask your follow up questions with those words as well. 'I see that having a new financial advisor will brighten your future and give you a greater vision of the life you've always pictured.' (FYI, that was a visual orientation. . . )

Silence is a powerful tool to use as well. Many people are quite uncomfortable with silence and will continue to talk to fill that up. This works to our advantage because the more we know about our prospect's wants and needs, the better we will be able to fulfill them with our products and services (if, that in fact, is the case).

Another very important aspect of listening is knowing how to respond with empathy. We all have wildly different experiences in life and sometimes it's hard to know how to relate to other people, but keep in mind, that despite our differences, we are all fundamentally driven by the same things. . . the core drives. We've all experienced loss, joy, frustration, enthusiasm. . . and on some level, we can connect with another's experience.

Listening is something that you can learn through practice and persistence.

Have you ever come across a killjoy?

You know the type ? they're always talking about how hard life is; about all the things they would have done, if only they had the time; and all the occasions when they had a chance to do something new? but decided not to take the risks, just in case everything came unstuck.

I'm sure you've got the picture ? and you probably know a few people who have all the qualities described above. The view these people have of life is one which is perfectly straightforward ? but essentially limiting. And they spend much of their time picking holes in other people's ambitions and goals, trying to make them see that it would be much safer if they didn't bother starting up that new business just now and instead settled for what they already had. Maybe it would be better to give it a go in six month's time, or a year? or preferably not at all.

After they have merrily pointed out all the pitfalls and disasters that could (and almost certainly will) happen, you would be forgiven for wanting to crawl back into bed, wondering why you ever bothered thinking about striking out in a new direction in the first place.

If you are considering starting up your own business, taking a new job or direction in life, or exploring the possibilities of turning that lifelong hobby into a part time selling opportunity, then these are the people you want to avoid. They won't open any doors for you, but they will certainly show you how to slam one in your own face! These are the people who will try to save you from yourself, but you are not your own worst enemy ? they are.

Business of any sort, by its very nature, is fraught with pitfalls and disappointments, as any killjoy will tell you. Yet conversely, they always forget to mention it is also filled with success stories too numerous to mention. Take the Body Shop, for example. You can bet somebody pooh-poohed that idea when it was first set up. Who would want to buy shampoos, lotions and skin creams with ingredients such as seaweed? The killjoys would say people want to buy what they know and trust. Wrong again!

This is the essence of the killjoy. Present them with any situation and they will immediately point out its faults and failures. This is not altogether a bad thing, of course. Anyone starting out in business should be aware of what could go wrong. But as a life plan, as we set out our goals and dreams, it is far from ideal. We all take risks every single day of our lives. When we cross the road to go to the supermarket, we are taking a risk. But the risk is worth it to get the supplies we need to exist. And of course we take due care and attention.

Taking chances ? albeit on a much grander scale ? is what successful businesses are all about. The Body Shop's quirky selection of unusual and fascinating ingredients has made it a high street success and a favourite with many people.

And the same balanced view of the pros and cons of any venture can help you too ? no matter whether you are eager to start up your own home typing service, or you're about to become head of a huge multinational company.

Cover your ears to the killjoys, and be prepared to take risks to succeed. The important thing to remember is to make sure you know what risks you are taking, and why. It is much like a game of Dungeons and Dragons. To get the key to the treasure chest, you have to be prepared to face dangers and enemies, and risk the traps and pitfalls set up to oppose and challenge you. Only by taking calculated risks like this can you hope to succeed.

And where would the killjoys be? Cowering at the entrance to the dragon's cave, thinking they'd rather not bother if it's going to be so dodgy.

The key question is this ? do you want something badly enough to make whatever calculated risks are involved worth taking? If you rush in blindly for something you so desperately want, it can be disastrous, yet so can not bothering at all.

So think about the pros and cons before you step forward into the unknown ? and ignore what everyone else might tell you. Only you will know whether or not the prize is worth the risk.

About the author:

Allison Whitehead has written and published countless articles on business, self help, goal setting, and motivational topics. Her latest book, ?The 5 Secrets of Successful Goal Setting?, is designed to help you reach all your goals ? whatever they may be. Download your FREE PDF preview at www.lulu.com/content/301705 today.

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Both Kenrick Cleveland & Missymoo are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Kenrick Cleveland has sinced written about articles on various topics from Vacation, Finances and The Internet. Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy clients using . He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coa. Kenrick Cleveland's top article generates over 40500 views. to your Favourites.

Missymoo has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marketing, Ezines And Newsletters and Writing. About the author:Allison Whitehead has written and published countless articles on business, self help, goal setting, and motivational topics. Her latest book, ?The 5 Secrets of Successful Goal Setting?, is designed to help you reach all your goals ? wha. Missymoo's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.