[G106]Get A Way Boys

Many women have close friendships with other women, but find it difficult to spend any significant quality time together. The demands of work and family always seem to take center stage, leaving little time for relaxation. An hour at the gym or a 30 minute spa treatment is not always the cure for relieving stress. Maybe a weeklong vacation, with your favorite girlfriends, is really what you need. Being able to kick back at the beach, pool, jacuzzi, having tropical drinks, shopping, sleeping in, etc., can save your sanity. Yes, just the girls, no husbands, children, parents, or jobs.

For the past 15 years, 6-8 of my closest girlfriends have been getting together every year for a 5-7 day girlfriends' get-a-way vacation. There are times when the group is larger or someone cannot make the trip. However, we've rarely missed a year doing this, and there is never less than 6 women on the trip. We normally rent houses near, or on the beach, or we'll get a duplex at a resort. However, because of our group size, and the space required for us to feel comfortable, we normally look for vacation homes to rent.

Many people, mostly men, are constantly asking what is the purpose of these vacations, without men. Our response is that we do it to reconnect with each other, relax, and just get away from it all. Perhaps one of the greatest benefits is that we typically come away with some revelation after many thought provoking conversations, or a new way of dealing with an issue that's been troubling us.

As you can imagine, over these 15 years, there have been many life altering events that could have ended our vacations such as, marriages, divorces, graduations, illnesses, and even deaths of parents. Still, we've managed to continue our tradition, especially when it's been a tough year. Actually, it's less expensive than seeing a therapist.

By the way, we come from 3 different states, yet we don't mind the travel because we always have a wonderful time. So, what happens when we get back home to our families? Well, let's just say, when we're happy, their happy.

Now, let's look at how you and your girlfriends can start an annual retreat of your own. Of course, you can set up your get-a-way vacations any way you want, however below are some basic guidelines that we follow.

Adhering to a Specific Time of Year

1) Select a time of year for your vacation. Make this the same every year. You may need to work around school dates, especially if someone in your group has school age children or are teachers. Also, the time of year is important as the high season can be expensive.

We, the majority of the time, plan our vacations for around mid-October, as the children have grown up. Keep in mind, that maintaining consistent travel dates from year to year, will increase the possiblility that everyone can attend. Your girlfriends will have plenty of time to make arrangements at home, if they can plan a year in advance.

Number in Group

2) A large group will certainly help keep the costs down per person. However, the greater your number, the more space you will need and each person's cost will rise. Our usual contribution for accommodations is approx $120-$150 person. In addition, most vacation property owners charge for each person over a certain number. From experience, we prefer to keep our group number to no more than 8.

Making Reservations

3)Give everyone 3 choices and have them make a selection on which vacation home they like most. Of course, try to make sure there is something for everyone. Ultimately, the majority will rule. When we are ready to make the reservation, we have one person contact the property owner and their card is given for the initial deposit. Afterwards, she communicates to us the amounts we owe, and when she needs payment.

We then make sure all the monies are paid before we check in. The property owners normally don't require final payment until 30 days before arrival. This gives each person ample time to pay the person who has given their credit card for the deposit. Also, a good idea for selecting one person to handle all the financial transactions is that property owners will have one point of contact and one credit card to work with.

Sleeping Arrangements

4) Since there is likely one master bedroom in the house, we rotate from year to year who gets that room. Sometimes, the person scheduled for the master bedroom may want a different room. In this case, it goes to the next person. I know this might sound a bit regimented, but it's all about fairness. By and large, we are very laid back and do not impose rules.

Division of Expenses

5) We like to cook our own meals and shop at the local grocery stores. We very much enjoy grilling our food. Also, one night is usually reserved for a special recipe, compliments of one of the ladies. Lately, though, we've decided to allocate one night to fine dining at a local restaurant. At the end of the trip, we divide the costs evenly among all of us. There are some items that are individually purchased, and it is understood that the costs for these items are not shared.

Planning Activities

6) Our vacations are unstructured, and no advance activities are planned for the group; afterall, structure is what we want to get away from! Everyone has their own agenda. We only require that there is a walking trail or exercise provisions are provided. However, if a group activity is planned and all want to attend, that is fine, but not required. One of your friends might want to stay behind and read a book that she has not had time to read.

Be Careful Adding to the Established Group

7) This is important. Be very careful about adding to your group as personalities can clash. If someone new is invited to join one year, try to make sure they can fit in. You know your friends and their characters. If the new person doesn't get along with everyone, there will be conflicts and eveyone will be uncomfortable. Let the guest know what to expect and what your typical days are like. Let her know that there is no schedule to follow. At the same time, give your group some background information about the new person, so they will be prepared.

A Tradition Worth Preserving

To sum it up, we undoubtedly cherish the relationships we have with our husbands, significant others and other family members. However, our women friend relationships can be supportive and rewarding, helping our lives to become more balanced.

So, get your friends together and start planning. You will create many years of rich memories. We all agree that these vacations have gotten us through many difficult times. Our families understand how important this annual holiday is to us, and I think they look forward to it as much as we do. (LOL)

That's a wrap. Now go play and have fun!