You have to be firm with her, and not try to just wait it out. If she misses too much school, she will never go back.
Still, you need to realize that her feelings are real. Showing anger won't help either of you.
She may have one of three conditions that you need to determine: school phobia (fear of going to school), separation anxiety (fear of leaving you or your home, or agoraphobia (fear of crowded and public places).
Talk with her teachers. She might be having trouble on the way to school such as bullying, embarrassment, or abused. These things could also be happening once she gets to school. Identify the problems so that you can work with her on them.
Take her to the doctor for a complete physical examination. Tell the doctor the whole story and ask him to rule out any serious illnesses.
If he rules out an illness, then believe what he says. Don't have a lot of expensive tests. Assume that your child is physically well and needs to go to school. Keep assuring her firmly and confidently that she'll be fine (and so will you) once she arrives. If she still claims of physical ailments, you have two options;
The first is that you insist that she go to school unless there is clear, measurable, evidence that she is sick, for example having a temperature, obvious diarrhea and vomiting, etc. Just "feeling unwell" is not enough to miss school, after all, many adults have to go to work with headaches or other symptoms.
Option two is to believe what she says. If she claims to be too sick to attend school, then she is too sick to be up at home. Make sure she gets into bed. Turn off the lights, close the curtains, don't let her watch TV and don't bring her any snacks. Just maintain your daily routine. Make staying home a complete bore. If she isn't asleep then she could be doing her homework. She definitely shouldn't have friends visit.
Establish some incentives for her to go to school. Some kind of reward or privilege would be in order.
Be firm and remain calm. Let her know that you expect her to go to school, but don't argue with her if she resists. The goal her is for her to want to go back to school. Once she goes and finds out that she's fine, her previous symptoms should disappear.
If you have no luck with these techniques and fear that she may be seriously depressed or anxious, then call your doctor for a professional referral.
If you have children who are wayward and who need guidance, see that they get it. A child's mind must be taught to react in the proper manner, else how will it function properly? Remember thinking creates a mental pattern. If you study physiological psychology, you will find many more reasons for creating the correct mental reactions in your child. Never tell a child he is stupid, mean, ignorant, crazy, sick, or any other such thing. Such remarks are suggestive, and have a tendency to create such an ideation in the child's mind.
I do not mean that you should not reprimand a child. That may be necessary. Always speak encouragement and heartening words to a child. If the child is stupid, tell him he can be as smart as anyone if he will only apply himself, but never tell him he is stupid.
Show him how to apply himself. If he is mean, tell him that he should not do the things he does and tell him why, as well as how to do different. Tell him the disadvantages of doing wrong. Tell him the great advantage of doing the right things. Impress on him how detrimental it is to him to do the wrong things. This will build up in his mind certain inhibitions against those things he should not do.
Many of us carry with us the very thing which makes for our defeat. We carry it without knowing it. What is it? It is a negative attitude. If you think you will not win; if you doubt your ability to succeed, you have odds against you. If you think failure, you are doomed to failure. If you think you are sick, you will get sick. If you fear some malady, it will have a tendency to afflict you. That is not exactly a correct statement but it conveys my meaning to the general public.
Your mental attitude is reflected in your general conduct, in your efforts, in your speech, in your very eyes. As a simple illustration everyone can understand - a dog knows when a man is afraid of it and will charge it for a bite; whereas, if the man is unafraid, it will stand clear of him. Animals recognize fear if it is present in a human being. Help your child by implanting in him ideas of fearlessness.
To those of you who do not know anything about psychology, the next statement may seem silly. You can talk to the subconscious mind of your child during the first hour of sleep, if you sit or stand beside his bed and talk gently to him after he falls asleep. Say to him, "Do not awaken. Sleep soundly." Say this a few times and continue with whatever you wish to impress on him.
You might say, "Listen to me, son. Do not awaken. Just listen to what your mother has to say. You will wish to get up at seven tomorrow and you will wish to go to school. You will like to go to school every day, etc." Repeat it several times in a gentle voice just loud enough so that he could hear you if he were awake.
Do this night after night. You will be surprised at the effect it will have on your child's conduct. If the child should happen to wake up while you are talking, just say, "Why aren't you asleep?" or some other remark to conceal the fact that you were addressing him in his sleep. This scientific procedure has been proven correct and powerful in shaping a child's conduct. Several scientists who have experimented with child psychology have tested the procedure.
Such a procedure will produce powerful positive results in your child's life.
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