Preschool children tend to see death as temporary and reversible-like the cartoon characters they see on TV. Children this age also tend to confuse reality with fantasy and have trouble understanding cause and effect. For example, if a child has been angry at a parent for disciplining him or her and then the parent dies, the child may feel responsible for the death. Make sure you tell your child that he or she is not to blame in any way for the death of a family member or close friend. By ages 5 to 9, children begin to understand more about death and, after a death in the family, they may become concerned that they or their parents will get sick or die. During this time, they need plenty of reassurance to help deal with their fears.
Sometimes adults are so upset about a death that they can't talk about it at all, or their grief may make them emotionally unavailable at a time the child needs comforting the most. By exhibiting grief openly, you show your child that crying and anger are natural responses to death and you give the child permission to show his or her own feelings. Let your child express feelings in his or her own way. Children may grieve intermittently-over a long period of time and at unexpected times. Or they may not appear to grieve at all. Because young children have a hard time describing their feelings, they often show their confusion and fear by becoming clingy or by reverting to earlier behaviors such as bed-wetting. They may act out their anger about the death by becoming irritable or aggressive. Older children who aren't comfortable talking about their feelings may describe them in a story, private journal, or poem.
After the death of a loved one, try to maintain a familiar routine in your home to reassure your child that many parts of his or her life are the same. Explain that the loss will hurt less as time passes. Allow your child to participate in ceremonies, such as a funeral, but don't force it if he or she is afraid or resistant. Some children just can't cope with loss and develop long-term emotional problems. If your child has any of these symptoms, talk to the doctor:
? A prolonged period of sadness and loss of interest in daily activities
? Prolonged fear of being alone
? Inability to sleep
? Loss of appetite
? Acting younger than his or her age for a prolonged period
? Constant imitation of the dead person or wanting to join the dead person
? Withdrawal from friends and family
? A sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school
Your child's doctor may recommend counseling by a therapist who can help your child accept the death and go through the grieving process.
Many parents lament the fact that their child is messy, but rather than accept it, you can take some steps to change it! Tidiness and organization are habits that can be taught, and you'll find that you can do a lot to keep your child's room looking great without having to yell at them over it. Take a look below at some things that can help you get started when it comes to raising a child who doesn't live in the eye of a hurricane of toys and clothes!
1. Clean with your child.
Don't hold your child to a standard that you are unwilling to hold yourself to. Family cleaning days can help instill a habit for cleaning being a social and enjoyable activity, rather than something that is used to punish them. If you get everyone involved in cleaning see about making sure that there is a treat at the end. While the treat should not be a payment to your children for work done (after all, they are benefiting from the cleaning as much as anyone) it can help your children associate cleaning with something pleasant.
2. Timed cleaning
Instead of saying something like, ?I want you to clean your room,? set a timer and tell your young child that you want him to clean for the full five or ten minutes. When you give a child a task like cleaning an entire area, you'll find that it can easily overwhelm him, leading him to dawdling and not doing anything at all. Instead, give the cleaning a limit that he can easily see and a goal that is more loose. You'll find that this can improve things a great deal.
3. Places to put things
When you think about organization, one thing that you have to be aware of is the fact that if you want to be organized, you need places to keep things. Make sure that your child has a place for all of his things, whether they are toys or clothes. One way to do this is to give him boxes, small ones that can slide under the bed, or to install a coat rack at his height in his room. A coat rack that your child can hang things from can be very useful when you are looking to give his room a significantly neater look.
4. Making the bed
Make sure that making the bed turns into a habit, no matter how young your child is. This is an important thing to do because your bed tends to dominate the look of your room. A clear space can help the whole room look a lot less cluttered, and it can help your child understand how attractive having space to move around and live in is.
Remember that while some children are naturally tidy, others simply need to learn it as they go. If you have a strong interest in making sure that your child develops good habits regarding his environment, take a look at the tips above to get started.
Both Andrew Ashworth & Edward Hazel are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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