Driving anywhere outside my comfort zone is usually off my agenda. However, having invested in one of those GPS things where a voice speaks as an arrow on a map points you in the right direction, I made an exception and amazingly found my way there and back safely.
I was asked to arrive about 12.30 p.m. so I could have lunch before I spoke. As it was half term, I took my autistic son with me, and he was delighted to try the various sandwiches, cakes and nibbles.
As we sat there enjoying the buffet lunch, I realised my friend, whod invited me to give the presentation, was drinking what I thought to be a pink milk shake. However, when questioned, it transpired it was a meal replacement drink, and my friend was on yet another diet.
He was required to drink two of the replacement meal shakes every day, and these he said, contained all the daily minerals, vitamins and nutrients he needed within only 500 calories. He also confessed they tasted awful, and he really missed the texture of actually eating something. However, he was looking forward to next week when he could have biscuits instead of one of the drinks.
This particular diet is not cheap, so naturally I wondered why he would pay a lot of money to do something, which clearly made him miserable. The answer it seems is it works, or at least it works in the short term.
Apparently my friend has been on this particular diet before, and lost three stone in the same amount of months, which I have to admit, is a really impressive achievement. However, the fact hes going on it again means just one thing - he didnt keep the weight off, and there lies the problem with all diets. As soon as you stop dieting and start to eat normally the weight piles back on again and often even more.
Why is that?
Well, the main reason is your metabolism has this amazing ability to adjust itself according to how many calories you consume. As it doesnt know how many calories you will devour in the future, it burns calories based on what youve had during the previous few days as it assumes youll continue to do the same.
Based on my friends diet, his metabolism will assume he only needs 500 calories each day, so as soon as he increases that amount he will gain weight. Its a vicious circle and one, which anyone who has ever been on a low calorie diet has faced.
Thats why there are so many yo-yo dieters around, and why the diet manufacturers and promoters rub their hands with glee. Dieting is a big and profitable business, and if you think about it realistically, they dont really want you to succeed. As long as people are overweight they have a captive market, which translates to money. Its the old find a starving crowd and give them what they want touch, except in this case the crowd isnt starving.
As you can tell Im personally not a fan of diets as self-denial sets you up for failure. Everyone I have ever met who has been on one has been miserable. Theyve thought about food all the time, what they can or cant eat, and although they may have lost weight initially, it invariably came off in the wrong places. Many a woman has been devastated by the loss of her bust, which is often where a few of those extra pounds are carried.
Of course, thats not where my male friend has his excess weight but he admitted he didnt like his shape. However, everyone has his or her own unique framework and losing weight wont necessarily turn him into his ideal body image. What he needs to do is learn to be happy with his body, eat healthily and take regular exercise.
Undoubtedly my friend will continue with his meal replacements, and he will of course lose weight for as long as he is allowed to remain on it. His challenge then will be keeping it off and somehow I cant see him succeeding.
Just as I was geographically challenged, he will be food challenged, so if theres anyone out there who can design one of those GPS things where a voice speaks as an arrow points in the right direction for sensible healthy eating and exercise, please get in touch!
Things to remember for successful weight loss
*Instead of eating to lose weight, think of it as eating to gain health. *Visualise yourself as slim and start to think as a thin person *Forget the clock, - wait until your body tells you its hungry before you eat and make sure you are not comfort eating. Ask yourself if you are really hungry or are you bored, annoyed, upset, lonely? If so, find another way to solve your problem. Comfort eating will only result in guilt as you pile on the pounds. *Eat anything you want but really enjoy every mouthful. Eat slowly and appreciate the smell, texture and taste. *Stop when you feel full and dont feel you have to clear the plate. Try to leave something even if its only one mouthful. *Try to cut out any added sugar. Its addictive and disrupts the blood sugar/insulin balance. *Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, a moderate amount of fat and a good balance of protein and carbohydrates. *Drink plenty of clean water *Take regular gentle exercise doing something you enjoy.
Divorce and remarriage are major life changes. Because of this, the decisions need to be considered carefully. Many changes come at you in rapid succession with both. This may account for researchers finding that people who wait at least 2 years to remarry after divorce have the greatest chance for success.
There are those changes that are more negative in nature though. It's essential that these changes are acknowledged. The key here is not that you like them, but that you accept them.
Some of these changes include:
1. How your relationship with your children has changed?
Being a single parent places a strain on life in numerous ways but one of the most critical is with regard to your parenting. You probably don't have the energy or time to dote on your kids like you did in the past. You are also the only parent in your household, so you may have had to step up your role as the disciplinarian. Another common change in your relationship is that you may not get to see your children as often as you used to. Before the divorce, your children lived at your house. You had easy access to them. Now, your time with them is dictated by a divorce decree. This is a hard adjustment and can cause a real sense of loss for a lot of parents.
2. How have your finances changed?
Typically a divorce causes a big change to the budget. This affects numerous life areas including: the home you live in, having to go back to work or take a second job, your ability to purchase items for your children, your sense of security and your social life. These changes are uncomfortable and most people would rather just ignore them. But here's the problem with that...they are out of your control. We don't like being out of control. That's why accepting where you are is vital.
To accept that these things are out of your control and to accept this is where things are at in your life doesn't mean you are happy about it. It does mean that you are at peace with it. It doesn't mean things can't change. It means you're not seeking revenge for your situation in the hopes of that making you feel better. Basically, this means you're leaving your old life in the past and focusing on the future.
Both Ben Needles & Alyssa Johnson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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