Every time I check my email box I'm amused. Why? Because I almost always get emails back to back that say completely different things, even though both writers are responding to the same thing.

One guy will say I'm a moron. The next will say I'm a genius. One guy will say I'm a snake oil salesman and a rip off artist. The next will have an incredible success story about how he turned his love life around using my materials, and is now with the woman of his dreams. Amusing stuff, for sure.

There is one recurring topic though, that I think merits discussion—do you really need women in your life? It's funny—I'll get an email that says, “if I could only get this one special girl, my life would be perfect,” then the next one says, “all women are dogs, and you're better off without them.”

Obviously, these are both extremes, but it does bring up the question, how important are women in your life?

Here's my answer: while there are certainly different strokes for different folks, I'll submit that having women in your life on your terms is extremely important to your success and overall well-being.

The man who knows he can attract women, the man who women flock to, has a much healthier self image than the man who says, “I don't need them” but secretly wants one anyways.

If you know how to create attraction with women, things just go much better. You're not worried about women cheating on you, you're not worried about meeting them, and you don't have any difficulty in your day to day interactions with them. The man who says he doesn't “want or need them” is referring, of course, to the results of attraction gone bad, not to women themselves (even though he may delude himself into thinking that's the case).

Now, the man who hangs his hat on “one special woman” is in just as bad shape because he thinks that being with “the woman of his dreams” is going to bring him emotional fulfillment. Not true at all—that only comes from within, from have a healthy self image, from expecting to be successful with women.

It is important to recognize that women DO play a very important role in men's lives, but equally important to realize that you can and choose what that role is for yourself. Mastering the art and science of attraction is what allows you to choose that role, and experience all the wonderful things there are to experience with women.

The Flavor Of The Weak in Dating

On the weekends I go to a different gym than I do during the week. It's closer to my home, and I like to change things up a bit when I work out. Now the gym I go to on the weekdays plays a lot of really good music-- all the great rock from the 80's.

The gym I go to on the weekends hasn't advanced that far yet, and they still play a lot of the whiney, contemporary music. As much as I can't stand it, I make it a point to listen to the lyrics, because they are reflective of the current culture.

One song that caught my ear was entitled, “Flavor of the Week,” and it was a whiney, wussy musician crying about how the woman he was attracted to had a jerk of a boyfriend who ignored her all the time. His wish was that “he could only make her see that to the jerk, she was just the flavor of the week.”

His presupposition was, of course, that once she “saw” this, that she would run to the nice, whiney, wimpy guy who would treat her like “she deserved to be treated.”

Guys, it just doesn't work that way. There's a reason why women are attracted to the behavior of jerks and then use the “nice guy” as a shoulder to cry on before running off with the jerk.

The “jerk” creates attraction because he's exciting, mysterious, intriguing and isn't too concerned if she “likes him.” The nice guy does NOT create attraction because she knows for sure he likes her, and he'll do anything she wants. He's weak. There's no mystery, intrigue, or excitement, hence no attraction.

Does that mean you should be a jerk to women? Of course not—the trick is to take the behavior of the jerk that creates attraction, but remove the dysfunction that most jerks possess. You can still be a decent guy and create attraction, as long as you exhibit those behaviors that create attraction, and avoid those that kill it.

But if you persist in the “nice guy behavior,” all you'll be doing is giving her the “flavor of the weak,” causing her to look for the jerk who'll just make her his “flavor of the week.”