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[I275]Influence People And Win Friends
by Rick Cowles, Ric
Some people tend to have a "magnetic" personality that easily attracts others to them, while some people have no magnetism and tend to be ignored by others. What makes the difference among people who have personal magnetism and those who do not? Is it some mysterious something called "charisma?" Is it "allure," "charm," or "that certain something?" I believe that the way people react to you is, to a large extent, within your control. Hence I've listed 9 interactive skills you can easily apply that will almost certainly increase your attractiveness to others.

1. Remember That the Other Person Has an Ego

One of the principal keys to increasing your interpersonal attractiveness is to concentrate your attention on the needs of the other individual's ego, not your own.

2. Refrain from Making Obvious Criticisms

If you nitpick and find every little thing wrong with everything, you will be seen as petty and trivial in your approach to life. Big people let the little things go - without comment.

3. Make the Other Person Feel Important

If someone makes you feel that you are indeed a very important person in his or her eyes, you are likely to be attracted to that person.

4. Pay Compliments Often

Don't confuse giving a compliment with flattery. A compliment is sincere and genuine while flattery most often is the opposite.

5. Avoid Talking About Yourself

Focus your attention and interest on the other person, not yourself. Allow others to talk about themselves and their interests first. Subsequently, you can talk a little about yourself and your interests. But do it sparingly.

6. Smile Frequently

Rate the power of a smile highly when you are trying to win a friend. A genuine smile communicates silently a world of meaning.

7. Make Good Eye Contact When You Are Conversing

Eye contact is one of the primary ways in which you communicate to others that you are interested in them and what they have to say.

8. Acquire the Art of Active Listening

When you are listening to someone else talk, make a conscious effort to match, within reasonable limits, the other individual's facial expression.

9. Be Rewarding to Others, But Not Excessively So

People tend to favour befriending someone who can benefit them in some way. But ff you are excessively rewarding to another person with little or no cost to that individual, you are likely to eventually be taken for granted.

If you are lonely and can't seem to form friendships, don't be discouraged. There are a lot you can do to improve the state of your personal life. You don't have to accept conditions as they are. Much is within your own control. Put the 9 strategies above into practice, and you'll see yourself winning friends in no time.

Most people will never escape what we call the 'rat race' to achieve any semblance of freedom in their lives for some sadly simple reasons. Listen up or you'll likely be one of them.

A basic fact of this game we call life is that you can't win simply by playing defense. This holds true for any game really. Most people are stuck defending a job they hate so they can make a mortgage or rent payment on a home they don't care for so they can keep their credit rating and avoid bancruptcy

When you look closely, most of the decisions an average person makes on a daily basis are simply defensive in nature. This is all fine and dandy as long as a person doesn't mind fighting their way through life to a draw.

You can't win a game simply by playing defense.

So how can one 'win' this game we call life? Well, for starters, we can stop defending things in our current lives that we don't particularly care for in the first place.

You probably loathe your job so why do you keep showing up?

That car of yours is probably not one you particularly care for so why do you keep making the payments?

Assuredly you've got an answer such as "I have to keep working or else __________ will happen." That's called playing defense. Which, again, is fine if you're content to struggle through life without chance of winning, but I'm willing to bet that's not the case.

You see, the first key to success in life is to stop defending the things you do have that you didn't really want in the first place and, yes, this takes courage. Luckily there is no competition in life for people who show even the slightest amount of persistent courage.

Playing 'not to lose' simply affirms over and over that the you already have what you want because after all you're defending it.

So step 1 in achieving life success is to stop defending the things already in your life that you don't particularly care for. When you do this you'll have time to play offense for a change and finally have a chance of winning the game! Rest assured, with 97% of people out there stuck playing defense against each other even a small offensive effort on your part is likely to win you the game. There (still) is no competition for those who choose to play this game on purpose.
Article Source : social and ethical issues

About Author
Both Rick Cowles & Shannon Hansen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Rick Cowles has sinced written about articles on various topics from Social Issues, Modelling and Social Issues. Get your free report revealing "" plus many more tips on how to overcome loneliness by visiting. Rick Cowles's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.

Shannon Hansen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Social Issues, Surveys and Network Marketing. Shannon Hansen is an entrepreneur and coach who mentors select individuals in achieving financial and life success. Visit Shannon's site at
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