Print Article for : Husband Having An Affair

Your Online Guide » Divorce Guide » Divorce and Infidelity

[H1830]Husband Having An Affair

by Michael Thomas, Mic

Sound familiar?

Obviously there are thousands of other excuses, but the above excuses are from a cheating spouse who no longer feels loved or needed.

The honey moon period isn't just a few weeks on holiday, it lasts differing lengths of time depending on the couples involved.

I know couples that have married, gone on their honeymoon, come back and that's it! An affair and then the dreaded break up. Indeed I know couples who had affairs and finished on their honeymoon.

I also know couples where the honeymoon period has lasted 20+ years, then bang! An affair and it's all over.

Most husbands and wives who cheat on their spouse fully expect that they can carry on with their marriage and their affair(s) with little disruption.

Most cheating spouses want both and if caught cheating do not expect their marriage to end. Other unhappy cheating spouses get into an affair with the sole purpose of ending the marriage, they simply chose not to do the sensible thing and talk with their wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend.

Sometimes, the grass seems greener, but more often than not affairs are doomed to failure.

An affair doesn't have to mean the END!

Couples that actually try to work things out after an affair have tremendous success; if you have children you MUST try, don't give up. If problems are worked out correctly the relationship can grow into something very special. Sometimes you just need to try.

As to the answer to the title of this article, the grass is very rarely greener on the other side!

Q. About a year ago, my husband had an affair with someone we both knew. It happened while I was pregnant. He said it would never happen again, but I'm not so sure. She's still in and out of our social circles.

I want to try to work things out, but every time I think about it, it makes me sick. The sad thing is that we've been married less than three years. Maybe he wasn't ready to be married. How do we work through our problems and have a happy marriage? Right now, it seems impossible.
P. R.

A. First off, let me say that I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's hard to overcome the powerful feelings that linger after an affair. But if you think it's impossible to have a happy relationship now, that's exactly what it will be. However, if you throw away the attitude of the impossible and embrace the one of determination, having a happy marriage can happen.

You might be right. It is possible (maybe probable) that your husband did not fully understand what your marriage would entail before getting into it, but now you both have a responsibility, and that includes raising your child.

It seems like you're making some good moves. Seeking help from books and the internet is a great idea. However, I would suggest that if you are not seeking professional counseling or coaching now--do it! Go with someone you trust to get you thought this difficult time. Even if you're the only one doing it at first, it's good to get started with a person who can give and objective approach and help you resolve some issues.

Ultimately, you and your husband will need to determine if renewing your commitment can work. Each of you will have to make a choice to consciously work at making your relationship better. Both of you will need to make your marriage a priority—even above taking care of your child(ren).

Despite what many people think, love is not a feeling, it's a decision. I once heard a saying: “Marriage is like a pet snake, you better feed it every day or bad things will happen.” If your husband is willing to change, positive action towards making your marriage better will be evident. That said keep your eyes and heart open.

Article Source : Pg. 1

About Author

Both Michael Thomas & Keishia Lee-louis are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Michael Thomas has sinced written about articles on various topics from Elder Care, Divorce and Infidelity and Finances. Michael Thomas has a wealth of experience with cheating spouses, surviving infidelity and saving marriages. For excellent articles and resources, go to