Are you a victim of negative thinking? Do you find your self upset, feeling down or even depressed and you don't know why? Well consider this, our feelings, our emotions, and our results in life are all a mirror of our thoughts. To be more specific it is not just our thoughts but what we think about constantly that creates our reality. Whatever we think about is what we get more of in life. Now people would argue that they constantly think about what they "don't" want, rather than just how bad things are. Where they are correct in knowing that thinking about what is wrong will not make things better, what they miss is the idea that thinking about what you do not want will never bring you what you do want. For example: If you say "I don't want to be over weight anymore." That statement is still negative, the word don't is negative, as well as over weight that phrase tends to be more negative than positive don't you think? So saying something like "I want to have more health." Or "I want to have more muscle." Those statements are much more positive and can help get into a state where you can really make them happen. So I challenge you to learn and apply the next three steps, not only will your positive thinking increase, but your manic negative thinking will be a thing of the past.
1. Awareness
When it comes to self improvement learning to be aware is absolutely crucial. Why is awareness so important? Well, if we are not aware of the things that hold us back, that bring us down, what lock us up, then we are destined remain victims of their result. So take it upon your self to be aware, listen to your thoughts, monitor them. Start to watch out for negative beliefs, negative thinking, negative feelings, and negative actions. Look out for people, places or things that are negative, and make an effort to detach your self from them. Try to be conscience of the vocabulary you use, begin to rephrase anything words or statements that are negative and restate them as positive. Example: "I hate my job." Reword the idea and say "I would love to find a new career." This is such a powerful skill to develop, the more you can be aware of your thinking the more design your life. So take this first step to heart and truly work on being aware. I believe we all have the right to choose how we want to feel, how we want to experience life, and being aware is a great place to start.
2. Responsibility
A large challenge we face in this day and age is that we all from time to time play the blame game, you know what I mean. When we point the finger away from our self, we blame our job, the weather, our family or anything else to take the attention off our self. We do that because we do not want to face our self, it is much easier to point the at someone else to take the monkey off our back. The sad part is that we do now own our feelings, we choose to blame our environment, yet we still feel bad, you think this is a clue? Of course it is, this tells us that moving the blame onto someone or something else will never be a successful solution. It may ease or distract you in the moment but it never serves as an answer. If you asked a hundred people if they would like more happiness in their life I can almost guarantee that they would all say yes, but how many of them are willing say look at them self and say they are the main source of their unhappiness? Close to none, that is the defining factor between those who experience success on a constant basis and those who merely dream about it. So if all that is true than taking responsibility for your thoughts, your beliefs and your actions becomes huge. It shifts from everything being someone else's fault and you not being able to do anything about it, being powerless, to having total control because you know happiness is a choice and no matter what happens you can decide how you are going to perceive the information and what you are going to do about it. You are now less of a victim, and more free. And that friends is a very empowering thought.
3. Commitment
Now make no mistake the final step is just as important as the others. You are now aware of your thoughts; and you are fully responsible for them. True self master comes when you decide to make to total commitment. Now this is not short order, it takes some time and it takes some stick-to-it-ness. Trust me I know it is difficult to start on a new path of thinking, especially if you have a strong history of negative thinking but I promise you the reward you get, the value is worth far more than what it will cost you to achieve it. All it takes are some new beliefs, some new distinctions and really owning them, they have to be powerful something to the effect of; all the passion I need is within me now, or my destiny is mine to create. Anything that will jolt your thinking into a new direction. So keep your chin up, no matter how tough things get. Hey listen, if you want to dramatically reduce the amount of bad days you have, and yes we all have them, then make a 100% resolution to positive thinking and to take ownership of your thoughts. Got it? So get out there and really live!
Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of nine years left her for a twenty-something barmaid in San Francisco. Even though this was her third marriage, she felt three was the charm and, after all, he showed all the qualities in a soul mate and a marriage partner that no one had ever shown her. After this traumatic experience, she closed off her heart to future relationships, giving up on the theory that you can find THE ONE who meets all your goals and expectations.
Jennifer Quigley*, fresh out of college, had enough of her share of flings and was ready for that someone special to enter her life. However, after every date ended up in the bedroom, she vowed that she was going to give up dating altogether. It's just not worth it, she said. There just are no more good guys left. I'd rather stay home with my cat or go out with friends.
Joseph Freemont* married his childhood sweetheart fresh out of high school. After graduation, they married and one and a half years later, became the proud parents of a strapping baby boy they named Michael. Two years later, another child joined their family and then a year later, the third child was born. Joseph was a good father as well as a good husband, delighting his wife with anything her heart desired. He laughed at his good luck and never took advantage of the situation by treating every day with his family as if it were the first. Twenty years to the day they married, Joseph lost his wife to terminal cancer. He grieved to the point where he could not come to grips with her passing and decided from that day forward he would never look at another woman again.
What do these three people have in common?
They have all given up on looking for their soul mates altogether and have closed off that path of their journey which is necessary for total self-growth and finding their higher selves.
While they have entered a comfort zone inside themselves to ward off the pain, they have closed it to whatever soul mates who might enter their lives in the future. When they put up this shield, they have also cut off a very necessary part of their life journey.
And why is this bad?
The reason is that, unknowingly, they have severed an important and vital part of their well-being. They have retreated within themselves to the point where finding love has no meaning anymore. And, in so doing, they have opened themselves to the prospects of getting stress-related diseases and losing what zest they have left in their lives.
In the case of Joseph, grieving is a natural process and one that should be completed before he even thinks about carrying on another relationship. If he were to jump right into a relationship, without going through the entire healing process, only disastrous results would occur.
However, in time, Joseph will heal and he will start to feel those old feelings of having someone to share his life with. Whether he acts on these impulses, it all depends on whether he is comfortable within himself to do so. This will take a lot of time for Joseph to come to this point, but he has to realize that shielding himself from his other soul mates is not going to help him heal.
By allowing these soul mates to enter his life, he will realize for what reason his deceased wife came into his life and left so abruptly. Its all a learning process and one in which Joseph needs to enter in order for him to release the negativity he is bestowing on himself in the name of grief.
Francine and Jennifer are merely products of bad relationships. Both figure what is the point? Until they release this negative thinking, they will bring this baggage into whatever future relationships that may be in stow for them and it will be a pattern they will continue until they realize that this negative thinking is what is preventing them from finding their true soul mates and finding the happiness they are looking for.
Baggage from past relationships should not hinder you from giving up on finding your soul mate. Once you understand that they all served purposes towards your self-growth even the bad ones and you can work through the karma associated with it, you are that much closer to finding your higher self. It is your higher self where you find the life, the creativity and the love you deserve.
Both Shannon Graham & Harsimrat Kaur Kahlon are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Shannon Graham has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation. Shannon Graham is a professional that works with people to help them reach higher levels of confidence and empowerment. At only 25 years old he has been studying success principle. Shannon Graham's top article generates over 2400 views. to your Favourites.
Harsimrat Kaur Kahlon has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Information Technology. Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips and hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to relationships, do please browse for more information at our websites.www.infozabout.comwww.relationships.infozab. Harsimrat Kaur Kahlon's top article generates over 3600 views. to your Favourites.