It's OK to justify that a red flag is more pink than red sometimes, but be honest with yourself and know the difference between the two. Here are five red flags that shouldn't be justified.
1. Rough housing. He's no good if he twists an arm or grabs or pushes too hard. Even if he's playing around, a respectful person won't hurt his or her partner.
2. The "Who's that guy?" syndrome. Everyone has insecurities so a little jealousy can be normal in a relationship. But you should know the difference between a little jealous and a lot jealous. If he gives you 20 questions every day, if he accuses you of things that are untrue, if he puts you down and calls you names, then he's way too insecure. And the bad news is that he won't get better. It's just the beginning and he WILL get worse.
3. Listen to your sister. There are exceptions to this rule, but know that your family and friends love you and want what is best for you. If someone close to you doesn't like him, at least consider what they have to say about your new man.
4. What happened to the things you used to do? It's natural to fall in love and have a few of your priorities change. You may spend less time on your hobbies or see your friends less, but don't eliminate these things entirely. Consider it a red flag if your significant other makes you feel guilty for doing things on your own or prevents you from spending time with your friends.
5. He's sweet one minute and scary the next minute. Be with someone who is stable and treats you well all the time. If he has extreme mood swings you probably worry about rearranging your day to make him happy or what he'll be like when you get home. Instability like this will wear you out.
Of course this list just scratches the surface. There are certainly more red flags to heed and, of course, women can be just as guilty of committing these crimes. For more dating tips, visit DatingTales online dating guide.
If you haven't heard by now, a reverse mortgage is a loan that converts home equity into tax-free cash for home owners aged 62 and older. These loans are hot. It seems like every celebrity is pitching them lately. Much has been touted in the media and by many lenders about the benefits to seniors of reverse mortgages. But here are some of the red flags. The upsides are great. The downsides can be ugly. Discuss these 13 red flags with family members and any lender you talk to. If you recognize these red flags you can avoid some common reverse mortgage problems.
Red Flag #1. Complicated paperwork may have unforeseen consequences. If you don't understand the document, you won't understand the consequences. Take the time to get proper guidance, second opinions, and a review of appropriate alternatives.
Red Flag #2. High cost of a reverse mortgage may outweigh the benefits of alternatives. As in any loan, there are going to be associated fees and costs. These should be clearly spelled out up front. Consult your lawyer, accountant, or other trusted adviser to review any loan application before making a major financial commitment like a reverse mortgage.
Red Flag #3. Uncertain benefits. The strange thing about reverse mortgages is that you cannot calculate the true cost of this loan because it depends on how long you are going to live. But, if you want to pass anything to your heirs, it's worth considering the alternatives. There is no way to predict the home appreciation and future interest rates so consider the reverse mortgage carefully. Yes, payments come to you tax free but the debt on that asset is going up. This may be fine as long as you live and as long as you live there. Again, just know your options.
Red Flag #4. Tight-lipped lenders. Lenders who don't fully disclose fees and terms are a big problem. As we've just seen in the sub-prime lending mess, many consumers didn't understand what they were getting into. Some sleaze-ball lenders have gone so far as to work themselves into the deal to gain a large percentage of the property's appreciation. Ask your lender if they are attempting to gain any percentage of the appreciation as part of their profit.
Red Flag #5. Forcing borrowers to buy additional financial products such as variable annuities. In this case, consumers can lose their principle and the earning potential of that money. Sometimes it's alright to combine financial products but if you do, please double check the terms with someone who understands both types of products.
Red Flag #6. Numerous front end and back-end fees can be exorbitant. Artificially inflated fees raise the cost to the borrower and deflate consumer benefits fast. Oh yes, the definition of exorbitant can be debated all day long but that is exactly why you need to take the time to educate yourself, get several reverse mortgage proposals, and obtain advice from a trusted expert like your accountant, lawyer or financial adviser.
Red Flag #7. Reverse mortgage counselors imply that they are there to protect the interest of the seniors applying for the loan. This may be legitimate but if they present themselves as a counselor yet, have an affiliation with the lender; there is an inherent conflict of interest. Unfortunately the government still allows this practice. Hey, face it, your tax adviser isn't on the payroll of the IRS is he? Well then your reverse mortgage counselor should not work for the lender he is trying to protect you from.
Red Flag #8. Borrowers should not pay a referral fee for an agent just for the privilege of introducing you to a lender. That fee has been as much as 10% of the loan amount in some cases. Don't pay referral fees or finder's fees for reverse mortgages just find a new agent or broker.
Red Flag #9. You don't know your lender. Laws and recourse vary from state to state. It's a good idea to know your lender. Get referrals from family and friends and ask for references from the agent you are talking with.
Red Flag #10. HUD might be a DUD. Now this may come as a surprise but just because Uncle Sam is involved in your reverse mortgage doesn't mean it is a safe or a wise decision for you. HUD does provide some helpful and free info on its website but it is very limited. If the sales rep says this loan is safe because it's backed by the U.S. Government, don't be overly impressed.
Red Flag #11. Information is withheld. When Total Annual Loan Costs (TALC) rates are not disclosed, be careful. When information is withheld and real costs and fees are not fully explained up front, there's trouble on the horizon.
Red Flag #12. If a borrower's ability to make a major decision is in anyway questionable, everyone including the agent, the lender, and family members should slow down and get additional professional assistance. If you are dealing with agents and lenders with any degree of integrity they will certainly offer any senior who doesn't understand the consequences of the reverse mortgage, the resources and time to get more assistance. Families should work together to keep tabs on senior family member's financial needs and lend a helping hand and a second set of eyeballs to major financial decisions such as reverse mortgages.
Red Flag #13. Alternatives to reverse mortgages are not known. There are several safe and secure alternatives that should be considered.
The bottom line to reverse mortgages is this. There are reverse mortgage alternatives beyond lines of credit or selling your home. Get the facts, recognize the red flags and take the time to do your homework.
Elder abuse is an ongoing concern when it comes to reverse mortgages or other financial products. The best way to fight this problem is to punish lenders who have no ethics and to teach seniors and their family members the facts and the alternatives. Families need to keep closer tabs on senior members and do the homework when it comes to reverse mortgages.
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Both Sara Musfeldt & Steve Dahl are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Sara Musfeldt has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family Concerns, Acne Treatment and Small Business. About the Author: Sara Musfeldt has a website with dating stories and for everyone. Sara has also produced an. Sara Musfeldt's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
Steve Dahl has sinced written about articles on various topics from Finances, Finances and Health. Why not consider a safe alternative to reverse mortgages? Earn 7-9% or more in a fixed and secure investment by visiting