[I93]I Was Involved In

In one quick swoop the judge raised his gavel and hit his desk sending echoes of sound through the once still courtroom. Many who had come to hear the verdict were shocked at how quickly the judge decided my case. His voice rang with authority as he quickly pronounced judgment. "You are found, Guilty!"

I sat in numbed shock wondering how much more pain I could endure before everyone was satisfied with their revenge. Tears welded in my eyes and thoughts of innocence paraded within my soul as I desperately pleaded with God to save me from these mad men. I was not guilty. I was just a mother who loved her children and wanted a fair custody arrangement.

Yes, I kidnapped my children. Yes, I ran to another state. I had no choice; they took away my ability to be a parent to my children when I had done nothing wrong!

The sentence the judge handed down to me was two years in jail for loving my children. Court expenses and a $2,000.00 fine to be paid to my ex-husband. I was stunned. My only crime was love.

It all began when I fell in love with another woman. My family, church and friends turned against me. I refused to admit I was gay to anyone, but it didn't keep them from believing it anyway.

It was proven in court that I was a good mother from parenting tests and testimonies, but the court didn't care about my mothering ability. All they were interested in was whether or not I was a homosexual.

Up until this time I was like everyone else. I was married. I had three children and I served faithfully in church. I was the choir director, Awana Sparky Director, and the women's Bible study teacher. Yet everything changed when they thought I was gay.

From the moment the talk about me being gay spewed from the mouths of every gossip in town, everything about my life changed. I was once loved and respected in my church and community, but now I was branded a homosexual. An abomination to God! A person who didn't deserve the same equal protection under the law as every other person in the United States.

Feeling rejected and abandoned, in my defense God reacted to my grave situation by revealing Himself to me in a supernatural phenomenon. He began to type me paranormal messages of encouragement. He revealed to me that what was happening to me was not Him, but people.

My guilty verdict and the supernatural messages happened over twenty years ago. During that time God taught me to step back from myself and to look at the world as if it were a game. A game of good versus evil. A game of love versus hate.

1 John 4: 8, "Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love."

God taught me to look back at what I suffered and see what I learned. Everything we experience in life teaches us valuable lessons that transform us and change us into different people. Today I am a more compassionate person who does not judge because of what I suffered from being gay.

From what I have learned in my life journey I can tell you that viewing your life as a game is difficult. Our feelings are real. The pain we suffer is life changing. And the world game that transforms us can be very traumatic leaving scars that sometimes can take a lifetime to erase.

Just the same if we commit our lives to God, He takes what we go through and He uses it to teach us secret truths about our world. If we surrender our lives to Him and trust Him when we face difficulties, we can overcome.

When Jesus Christ died for our sins, a new and different game of life arose. What made this game different was grace. Grace changed the concept of sin. It opened our eyes to the war between God and Satan. It showed us how people are especially formed by God to fight against every evil Satan plans against people to hurt them and rob them of their faith.

I am gay and through Jesus Christ I was shown in many scriptures that my love for Tori was right. Yet most churches today continue to hold firmly that being homosexual is wrong. God supernaturally ministered to me to bring a completely different teaching to the world. A truth that reveals that love is a reflection of God and anyone who hates follows Satan.

A concept of life that makes Christian people look at the world as a conquest. A war where people are trained in the Holy Spirit to fight against all evil in the world. Understanding the fight leads people to a new dawn of understanding found in the difference between light and dark. Light stands for God and wisdom. Darkness stands for Satan and the corrupting forces found in the world.

1 John 2: 9-11, "Whoever says that he is in the light, yet hates his brother, is in the darkness to this very hour. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and so there is nothing in him that will cause someone else to sin. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness; he walks in it and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has made him blind."

Satan turned everyone against me when I fell in love with a woman. Satan used the ignorance that is preached in false churches to condemn me to hell. God appeared to me supernaturally in order to show me that He is Love.

Satan hurts people by telling them lies in the name of Jesus Christ. He hurts people by the persecutions they suffer for being different from their neighbors. Many people objecting to the suffering that they face hate God thinking that He is doing this to them. This simply is not true. Satan is the god of this world and he has the power to hurt people.

1 John 3: 9 & 10, "Whoever is a child of God does not continue to sin, for God's very nature is in him; and because God is his Father, he cannot continue to sin. Here is the clear difference between God's children and the Devil's children: anyone who does not do what is right or does not love his brother is not God's child."

This is the same reason why many people feel persecuted by the church. They don't think the church understands what they are going through because there are false teachers that have maligned the way of truth. Teachers who refuse to acknowledge that we are in a life game of good versus evil. Teachers who take the Laws of Moses and force people by telling them that they must obey the rules or they are not saved. Teachers who completely ignore the concept of grace that is reflected in love.

Jesus came to set people free from the Law. He came to show people that we are the temple of God and he speaks clearly to those who follow Him. This sets people free to be whoever God wants them to be. No longer are they burdened by the Law.

I became a disciple of Jesus Christ. I endured suffering as a soldier of Christ. I stood my ground and I refused to give up and allow Satan to rob me of my faith. No matter what happened to me I believed because I understood that my suffering would lead to the salvation of others.

1 John 2: 26 & 27, "I am writing this to you about those who are trying to deceive you. But as for you, Christ has poured out his Spirit on you. As long as his Spirit remains in you, you do not need anyone to teach you. For his Spirit teaches you about everything, and what he teaches is true, not false. Obey the Spirit's teaching, then, and remain in union with Christ."

The judge changed my jail time to probation and 500 community service hours. I was stung by the sinfulness of man, but I live because God saved me from the corrupting forces of the world. He taught me through what I suffered to hang onto love. For God is Love! He taught me about the game of life and how to win my game. Listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and you too will understand God's will for your life.