To be resilient and resourceful, we need to ask ourselves in each new situation:
???What do I really want? Or, ???What matters? ???What is important? ???What values do I want to preserve in this situation?
Knowing our answers at a deep level gives us great energy to be resilient???to deal with life???s setbacks. Usually our first answer is not the final word. We need to dig deeper.
DIG DEEPER: A STORY
For example, a woman in a workshop of mine, Emotional Intelligence for Resilient Leaders and Professionals, said, ???What I want is for my teenage daughter to clean up her room. It???s horrible!???
I coached her to ponder what she really wanted. I said, ???OK, then here is how you can get that wish to come true. Give your daughter all sorts of cleaning equipment, lock her in her room, and tell her she cannot come out until the room is clean.???
The woman was shocked. ???Oh, I couldn???t do that.???
???Why not????
???Because she would hate me. She would be angry with me for months.???
???OK,??? I replied, ???then you must want something else in addition to a clean room. What is that????
The woman pondered and said, ???I also want to keep a good relationship with her.???
???Well, then you could hire someone to clean the room,??? I replied.
???No, no. That won???t do either.???
???Why not????
???Because I want her to learn to take responsibility for cleanliness. She needs to learn to do that before she leaves home in two years for college.???
???Now you have dug deeper into what you really want,??? I summed up. ???You want three things: ???A clean room, ???A good relationship with your daughter, ???Your daughter to learn to take responsibility for cleanliness.???
The woman grew excited, ???Yes, yes, that???s it!???
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence means that you know what you really want, at a deeper level than your first inclination. In this situation, for example, the woman really valued cleanliness and wanted her daughter to learn to share her value. You can see from her excitement that this process of digging deeper energized her. After that, she had more energy to craft strategies to get what she really wanted.
A simple strategy often will not get you what you really want. You must be resourceful. When you dig deeper, new alternatives will come to mind. Knowing what you really want at a deeper level makes you more resourceful and resilient.
CLARITY OF INTENTION
The principle here is that you have the most energy if you work in alignment with what you really want. Keep asking yourself what you really want and dig deeper in each situation. Then you will be energized and resourceful in finding strategies to get what you really want.
Knowing what you really want is a form of emotional intelligence needed to face changes, complexity, ambiguity, and turbulence in your workplace and in the world. In his book Coach2 the Bottom Line, Mike Jay asserts: ???One of the most critical roles of a leader is centered in establishing clarity of intention.??? If you are a leader of your company, you must know what you really want. Then you can set goals accordingly and plan appropriate actions.
When turbulence blows you off course, you can correct your course by remembering what you really want. If you have clarity of intention, you have a sense of direction no matter what happens.
(WritingArticle Emotional Intelligence for ResilienceKnow What You Really Want excerpt from Emotional Intelligence for Resilience)
"What Am I Really Selling?"
I hope you've got a really good answer to this question because if you haven't then you are going to have the same amount of success with your sales letter as you will if you're trying to dry flowers at the bottom of the ocean - absolutely nil.
Put yourself in my shoes and walk through the preparation for a sales letter for a Moto Guzzi Le Mans motor bike and you'll see how to discover the correct answer.
You've owned your Moto Guzzi for 7 rapturous years and you know it intimately.
You can talk to me in the most minute detail about how the engine throbs and talks to you in a primaeval, sexual way as the bike happily trundles along at twenty miles an hour in top gear.
How, like a thoroughbred racehorse the bike has so much power in reserve and is constantly twitching and kicking just waiting for the starter's pistol so that it can hurtle forward at warp speed.
How it wants to accelerate INTO the corners and if you start cruising at 70mph it will almost instantly leap to 95 or 100mph without you being aware of it.
You know the shortcomings of the poor quality switches but also the feeling you get when you ride this magnificent beast, the sheer pleasure and thrill as this throbbing, pulsing, living animal becomes a part of your body.
You know how the heavy clutch makes your wrist ache murderously after four hours of hard riding but also how you soon learn to change gears both up and down smoothly with merely a fleeting thought and not use the clutch whilst doing so.
You can tell me how, when you first sit on it, the bike feels so small, almost like a child's toy, because the seat height is so low, but also how, when you take a few moments to get comfortable, you can feel the poise, balance and precision of this magnificent piece of engineering...
You can tell me how a simple, three hour trip to London is turned into a six hour pleasure cruise that you never want to end, such is the pure joy of riding this magnificent beast.
In short, you know your product extremely well.
So what do you write about in your sales letter?
Do you tell me that the motorcycle has fantastic balance, that it has a top speed of 135mph, that it has a really beautiful paint job or that it is sensuous and appealing to the eye?...
Do you want to be "Drying Flowers At The Bottom Of The Ocean"?
No! You need to hit me with something more appealing than that, let's talk about...
"What's In It For ME?"
You need to tell me about the sheer thrill and terror of seeing a 90 degree corner hurtling towards you at 100mph but how without a moments thought I will touch the brakes, drop down a gear or two, nudge the tank with my knees and be through the corner with a shower of sparks from the footrest and hardly a murmur from the bike.
How the experience will have me screaming like a banshee with an insane laughter as I go faster and faster searching for the next corner.
How I will become addicted to these feelings and look forward to them with a lust that I've never experienced before.
You need to paint the joy and benefits to me, appeal to the lifestyle and show me how much I'll MISS OUT if I DON'T own that Moto Guzzi.
You need to hit my emotions at a deep primal, gut level...
Look at the following two statements and tell me which has the more emotive power:
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Sit astride the Moto Guzzi Le Mans then answer this question:
Are you man enough to control the barely tamed beast that is now throbbing menacingly between your legs?
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Sit astride the Moto Guzzi Le Mans then answer this question:
Are you man enough to put this exquisite motorcycle through its paces and discover the limits of its abilities?
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Well which has the most emotive power?
Yes, you're right, the first because it talks to you on an emotive, gut level. It alludes to sex, talks about power, control and taming a wild animal.
The second statement is just "Drying Flowers At The Bottom Of The Ocean"
Ride a motorcycle OK it could be fun...
Tame a wild beast - Wow now that IS exciting!
Emotions are very powerful triggers, use them to trigger excitement and need in your prospect.
Look at your product again, learn all you can about it and discover the emotions it will trigger when your prospect uses it. Find out what problems it solves for him/her and then ask yourself... "What am I really selling?"
The answer is always the thrill of owning the product, or the time saving it will give or the solution it offers - Never The Product Itself!
Both Ben Needles & Stuart Elliott are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Ben Needles has sinced written about articles on various topics from Business Credit Cards, Anger Control and Business Credit Cards. About the Author (text)William R. Murray holds a Harvard MBA, Yale M.Div., is a Master Certified Coach and a state approved Mediator. He has over 25 years of experience leading as a line manager, and coaching and training leaders and. Ben Needles's top article generates over 550000 views. to your Favourites.
Stuart Elliott has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sales letter, Emotional Intelligence and Marketing. Stuart Elliott is a world-class copywriter who has written numerous articles about sales letters and copywriting.Drop by: