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He comes in late at night, spends a lot of time at the office, or wants to hit the shower the second he arrives at home. Maybe he's guarding his cell phone calls, becoming more secretive about his emails, or quickly closing his web browser when you approach him while he's on the computer. You see the telltale signs, and can't help but wonder -- is your husband having an extramarital affair?
In the not-so-distant past, extramarital affairs took place solely between co-workers, people who met at the bar or a restaurant, or even at the library. Nowadays, men who are ready and willing to break from their marital vows overwhelm online personals websites, and even classified ads websites, with "married but looking" ads. In fact, while it is offensive to anybody who holds the sanctity of marriage dear, studies of search engine queries report that there is an increasing number of people looking for online personals sites that cater to the husband looking to stray.
While the differences between a cheater of ten years ago and a cheater today are negligible, because the venue for cheating husbands has opened itself to the internet -- there are many more ways to catch a cheating husband than ever before. Bottom line: if your husband is having an extramarital affair and he is using online dating websites, personals websites, or even if he is simply using his cell phone to communicate with another woman -- there are discreet ways to catch him cheating.
Now, if you do suspect that your husband is having an extramarital affair, probably the worst thing you could do initially is to confront him on your suspicions. If you're right -- your husband may be able to explain away your suspicions, and he'll likely be even more careful in the future. If you're wrong about him having an affair -- you could do irreparable harm to your relationship, harm which you may not be able to undo.
If you are at the point where you are sure that your husband is having an extramarital affair, the best thing for you to do is observe. Make a note of his actions, reactions, and mannerisms. If things continue, and you cannot get your "gut feeling" to go away -- your next step should be to hire an investigator, or purchase online investigation services. Hiring a private investigator is generally fairly pricey, but if you suspect that your husband has used the internet to instigate his extramarital affair, online investigation services are a great starting point and in many cases will either prove, or disprove, your husband's extramarital infidelity.
It is a terrible feeling to even think that your husband could be cheating on you, but for the sake of your relationship, it's best that you do not confront him right away. Observe him, and if you can't shake the feeling after a period of time, find an investigation firm that will help you to alleviate your suspicions, one way or another.
Summertime is high season for cheating husbands. Extramarital affairs flourish this time of the year. Many men view summer infidelity as a recreational sport. Some husbands are seasonal cheaters who only cheat when their wives are away on vacation. Other husbands are opportunistic cheaters who cheat only when there's an opportunity do so without getting caught. For all three types of cheating men, summer is the ideal time to initiate an extramarital affair.
Most Summer Affairs Go Undetected
According to statistics, 50% to 70% of husbands cheat on their wives. A good percentage of these affairs take place during the summer months. Most of this infidelity goes undetected. Studies reveal that 2/3 of women whose husbands are cheating have no idea their husbands are having an affair. These cheating husbands have several ways hide their summer affairs.
Husbands Play When the Wife is Away
Some husbands routinely send the wife and kids to the beach, the lake, the country, or to visit relatives in another state. What's your husband up to while you and the kids are away? Do you know where he is, who he's with, or how he's spending his time? Instead of sitting home alone eating a TV dinner, he could be wining and dining his ladylove.
Fictitious Fishing Trips and other Lies
Cheating husbands frequently disguise vacations with their mistress as fishing, camping or rafting trips with the guys. Men know that outdoor activities and other forms of male bonding are unlikely to be questioned by their wives. Is he really hiking the Appalachian Trail with his buddies? Or is he soaking up sun in St. Thomas with his summer sweetheart?
Bogus Business Trips
Trysts with the mistress are often disguised as bogus business trips. Even valid business trips can provide the perfect opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes. While he's attending that summer business conference without you, a budding office romance could blossom into a full blown affair. Are his trips occurring more frequently or lasting longer than usual? Has he tacked on an extra day or two before or after a legitimate business trip so he can spend the time with his lover?
Suspicious Separate Vacations
Has your husband suggested that the two of you take separate vacations this year? Do you know where he plans to go, or who he'll be vacationing with? He could be laying the groundwork for a summer affair. Will he be living it up in Las Vegas with his lover while you're indulging in a week of pampering at a spa? If you have reason to suspect that your husband could be cheating, you may want to re-think your summer plans.
What to Do About His Summer Affair
If you see telltale signs of a summer affair developing or actually taking place, speak up! Ignoring it won't make it go away. Let your husband know you're aware of what's going on and tell him you want it to stop. If you let him think he's getting away with his affair or that he has your silent approval, he'll feel free to do it again next summer. Or worse, he may continue it throughout the year. Though summer affairs usually have a built-in expiration date, some cheaters turn their summer flings into a permanent state of affairs. Your husband could become so attached to his mistress, that he moves in with her or asks you for a divorce.
How to Prevent a Summer Affair
Does this mean you should forego renting that beach house for the summer or put that 2-week trip to your parents on hold? If you've seen suspicious behavior or signs of infidelity during the past few weeks or months, this is not a good time for you to be away.
If your husband is a seasonal or opportunistic cheater, don't make it easy for him to cheat. Stay close to home, keep tabs on him, and stay alert. Follow the suggestions my tip sheet, “How to Prevent or Short-Circuit Your Husband's Summer Affair.” Plan your summer so he won't have the time or the opportunity to get involved in a summer affair. Safeguard your marriage by putting some checks and balances in place. Plan summer activities for the whole family and a several romantic weekends for two. Heed this advice, and you won't have to wonder where your husband is this summer -- you'll know, because he'll be right there with you.
FREE Tip Sheet on Summer Affairs
To request a FREE tip sheet which lists the telltale signs of a summer affair and includes tips on how to short circuit your husband's summer affair, or prevent him from having one at all, send an e-mail to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with "Summer Infidelity-isn” in the subject line.