Sometimes the best secrets are hidden in plain sight. When it comes to developing confidence, there is one "secret shortcut" that took me years to understand, but it's so painfully obvious that I want to kick myself sometimes for not being aware of it all along. The "secret" I want to tell to you about is acceptance.
Understanding the importance of acceptance requires a little creative thinking. It is important to remember that confidence is never an "all or nothing" situation. We all have confidence to some degree, but it is a fact that some people have much more that than others. It is also a fact, that no matter how low your self-esteem may be right now, you do have some confidence. So it's a sliding scale, and just for the sake of argument, let's say that the confidence scale goes from one to ten, with one being least confident and ten being supremely confident.
To further make this point, let's say that right now your confidence level is a three on this scale, and your friend's confidence is a six on the same scale. Now, it's obvious that your friend is twice as confident as you, but at the same time his confidence level is still only a six out of ten, so it certainly could be a lot higher and your friend is very aware of this.
Now here is where the power of acceptance comes into the picture. Imagine that your friend, whose confidence level is a six, feels very bad about himself because his confidence isn't higher. But let's say that, unlike your friend, you understand that your confidence level is low, but you feel OK about that, and you're not judging yourself because of it. In effect, you are saying "my confidence level "is what it is" and I feel perfectly comfortable with that."
Now, who is going to be perceived as being more confident, you or your friend? YOU ARE! Every single time. Because if you accept your confidence level (no matter what it is) and are perfectly comfortable with it, you are going to come across as much more confident than your friend who does not accept his confidence level. You see how this works?
Another way of saying this would be, no matter what your confidence level is, accepting it and being comfortable with it will instantly make you more confident! Are you having an "aha" moment yet? I know I did when i first began to really "get" this idea. And the irony is, this is such a simple idea. Nevertheless, I overlooked this critical point for many years. Maybe you have too...
But once you understand the importance of acceptance, you can use this knowledge to immediately boost your confidence. All you need to do is begin where you are right now and make it a point to accept your current situation and your current level of confidence. Do NOT feel frustrated with yourself or your situation. Begin with a good feeling about where you are right now at this very minute. After a day or two of thinking this way, you will definitely notice a difference. When you begin any confidence building program from the point of view of acceptance, you are certain to see greater results in less time.
But be warned, if you begin trying to make changes in your life from a position of frustration, or self disapproval, you will find it much more difficult to create the results you want. Find a way to make peace with yourself and your situation where you are right now. Remember, the key to the whole thing is to start by accepting yourself just as you are right now. You absolutely can do this, and it WILL make a difference. Every single time.
As we grow older and "wiser" we tend to realize that having big dreams causes frustration and disappointment. Have you fallen into this trap? It is unfortunate that when we reach maturity we realize that all goal achievement starts in the mind after the damage has been done and negative mental programming has taken over.
In order to achieve anything you must first believe that you can achieve it! Do you remember when you were younger and you thought that anything was possible? Would you like to regain that child-like faith and start to use it in conjunction with your mature attitude to achieve your goals? Yes! Then read on.
The key and starting point for achieving anything in life lies in your mind. Before you can have, be or do anything you must first be able to envisage yourself being able to be, do or have the thing you desire. When you get your mind right the rest will fall into place almost effortlessly!
As a child no one could tell you that things were impossible. You believed in wizards, enchanted forests, mythical beats and magical lands. You also believed that anything was possible and that it was possible for you to have anything you wanted. This mental ability to believe in the impossible was slowly trained out of you as you grew older. However, if you want to achieve the things in life that you have always dreamed of achieving then you must regain this child-like faith in achieving the seemingly impossible.
By believing that you can achieve something you have done 90% of the work already! Without going into the quantum physics behind the power of thought just be aware that your thoughts are more powerful than you can comprehend. Science is proving that thoughts have very real creative power in a very tangible and physical way. They have the ability to rebuild your world.
However, on a more practical note, your thoughts are also the things that motivate you to take action. If you believe that you can succeed at something and feel optimistic about a successful outcome then you are much more likely to try it!
The first step is to practise imagining that you already have the things that you want. Close your eyes and visualize yourself in possession of your dreams already. Now your imagination is like any other ability that you have. Although it is natural and an inherent ability that you have been born with it gets weakened through lack of use. However, it will improve with exercise.
By visualizing, on a daily basis, your dreams as already having been accomplished you will begin to find that your imagined scenes become more vivid and life-like. Your ability to create visualized scences that, at the moment, are so immpossible to be beyond your imagination, will grow also. You will begin to consider goals that you never would have even thought of before. This happens as you start to enjoy the mental "acquisition" of your desires. You will also find your belief increasing as you begin to really see that it is possible for you to have those things.
So, what are the nuts-and-bolts of exercising your imagination so that it creates unshakable faith in you? Well it is as easy as setting aside 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night!
Start small. Pick a small goal that you believe you can accomplish but that will take some effort on your part. Choose something that you really want. Then for 15 minutes each morning and 15 minutes each night visualize yourself already having it. Conjure up as much strong positive emotion around your mental image as you - this is important!
Now evoking positive emotions around your mental image should not be hard if your mental scene incorporates something that you really want. When we imagine having things we want we naturally start to feel good.
Soon you will find yourself feeling that you either already have the thing you have been visualizing or you will feel that you are definitely going to have it. When this happens you will begin to take actions, sometimes unconsciously sometimes deliberately however most times it is both. The actions that you begin to take will start to bring you closer to the achievement of your goal. As you take more of these inspired action steps you will find that eventually your imagined scene becomes real!
When you have several small success behind you begin to think on a bigger scale. WHen you achieve bigger goals then set even bigger ones.
When you start to think bigger then you begin to get bigger results!
Both Jon Mercer & Michael Mcgrath are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Jon Mercer has sinced written about articles on various topics from Public Speaking, Cure Anxiety and Web Development. Jon Mercer is a personal development coach and the founder of UltraConfidence.com. . Jon Mercer's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.
Michael Mcgrath has sinced written about articles on various topics from Hypnotherapy, self improvement and motivation and Hypnotherapy. Find out what Personal Development products really work! Go to and read our free reviews. . We find out what Self. Michael Mcgrath's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.