Ask questions, be quiet and listen. Ever notice how we all learn everything backwards? From the day we are born we learn how to fit in. We socialise, talk and convince everybody how great we are. But the problem is we need to think different in order to succeed. A sale is not about you convincing the costumer, is all about letting him discover what he needs. "How?" Let him or her do the talking. "And what should I do?" ASK QUESTIONS, BE QUITE AND LISTEN.
Let me give you an example of a common mistake that happens every day in sales: A salesman is talking and talking. You know, the annoying type, the one that never listens. The customer says: "Yes but..." Our salesman interrupts the customer and continues his explanation without listening: "And you should know that with our product..."
Why on earth do we do that? Because in the heat of the moment we don't want to stop. We learned that talking more equals convincing. The truth however is just the other way around. Convincing is saying "You are wright!", then listen some more and ask questions that lead up to your point/product. Every time you should try to listen instead of thinking about: “What am I going to say next?"
Maybe the customer was just looking for the toilet in your store but you didn't even notice. Why? You didn’t ask and you didn’t listen.
One of the most powerful things about online dating is its ability to break down barriers. People who are from entirely different backgrounds and beliefs are able to come together by realizing they have more things in common than they realize. If the same situation was presented to them in the offline world than the chances are they would not be receptive. Not to say that internet dating online is one large community that is free of hang-ups where you will find the love of your life instantly. It is not and no one should fool themselves into thinking otherwise.
Like the offline world, online dating requires continuous learning about the other person. In fact it may be a little more detailed since it requires the proper image that puts you in a more positive light as well as constant messaging and chatting before you even decide to meet face to face. For this reason it is crucial to ask certain questions to let you know where the other person stands.
1. What are you looking for in a potential partner?
This is a pretty basic question but you would be surprised at how many people it trips up. Why because many people do not have a clue as to what they are looking for in the other person. Pay special attention to their answer. Do they go into detail that pleases you or turns you off? If they say they don't know than that is a clear indication to take the relationship even slower and a little bit more cautiously. That "I don't know" response maybe genuine or they could be hiding something.
2. If you have done this before how did it go?
You may find yourself attracted to a person who has gone through the online dating experience previously. If things did not go well pay attention to how they express it. Do they trash the other person unmercifully or do they blame themselves to the point of unhealthy self pity? There is nothing wrong with singing the blues about what went wrong but if their answer is at either extreme than watch out.
3. What makes a good relationship?
When they answer do they talk in terms of an equal partnership or does it seem like one person (you) should go out their way to meet the majority of expectations of the other person (them)? This is an excellent question for gauging what your relationship will be like if you choose to pursue it.
Keep in mind that even if they answer all of these questions to your satisfaction, you should let your instincts play a major role in your decision making process. In some cases the person could be giving you the answers they think you want to hear and not necessarily what they believe. Now it maybe they like you so much they want to please you or it could be deception plain and simple. You do not know so use your instincts and take it slow.
You are not asking these questions to start an argument or make the other person uncomfortable but to get a sense of what the future may hold for the both of you. Therefore do not be afraid to ask. If the other person is really on the same wavelength as you then they will be only too happy to answer. Also be ready to offer your take on these questions. A big part of a good relationship is communication and that involves some give and take on everybody's part.
Both Hederik Laloo & D.w Campbell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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