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[L482]Locus Of Control Stress

by Joshua Uebergang, Jos

Does this sound like a familiar scenario in your life? Stress is always with us controlling what we do and how we feel. If you're stressed you do things faster and in an unhappier way. You either become aggressive towards other people as a form of releasing the stress or you become submissive by hiding the stress.

By being submissive and hiding your stress, it internally eats at you hurting your emotions and your relationships. By being aggressive towards another person, you temporarily feel relief, but then reality kicks in as you feel more stressed from hurting the other person.

You need to learn ways to manage your stress and not let it get the better of you and the people around you. Stress encourages us to take action but it too often works against us. I've come up with the best ways and techniques to manage stress:

Stop worrying - worrying is extremely dangerous for your health. By worrying you increase the chances of having a heart-attack and you become miserable which damages your relationships. Worrying is about anticipating what's to come and doing nothing about it. If you did do something in anticipation of the future, you would then be planning and not worrying. You try to think what will happen in the near future, but nothing more then unnecessary thoughts occur. "What if..." "What will happen..." . STOP LIVING IN THE FUTURE and think about what you can fully control now. That is, think about today!
Self-control - You are in complete control of your emotions. Its learning to manage your mind that you correctly manage your stress. This is where self discipline is important. Other people do not have access to your mind unless you give them the authorisation. You have full control over your emotions and actions. However, you're ability to be in control of your emotions and actions is dependent on your desire, discipline, and skill set.
Self understanding - You need to manage yourself and control your emotions. You need to be aware if you are treating a person in an appropriate way because of the stress. You need to know that you are stressed, why you are stressed, and ways to manage the stress.
Responsiblity - When you take responsibility, you live in truth. You do not become a victim of others. You begin to control and create your feelings. You stop blaming others for what has happened to you and you become proactive controlling thoughts, feelings, and stresses. By accepting responsibility as way of managing stress, you begin self-control.
Leave others alone - If the other person is not involved, leave them alone. It is so tempting to release your stress on other people. Do not treat people inappropriately. By treating them the way they do not want to be treated, you build up their stress which they will be happy to put back on you. If someone is causing stress, you need to address the person explaining to them how you feel, why you feel that way, and what can be done to solve the problem.
Don't stop - When feeling down, it is easy to wave the white flag and surrender. Winston Churchill said "If you are going through hell, keep going." Don't give up. I encourage you to stop and be smart, but do not lose the desire to persist. If you are going through an awful patch in life, by stopping there you remain in the awful patch.
Get away - You may just need to go away for a bit to refresh your mind. If you can afford a holiday, go for it! For those who can't do that, go for a walk or work-out. By being active you release hormones that counteract stress. Also, by being away from the stress it clears your mind by taking it away from the problem.

Stress is not meant to make us miserable. We are given the ability to produce stress to complete tasks otherwise we would be sitting on our lazy backsides. Learn these ways to manage your stress, and you'll have stress working for you and not you for it.

Some of your diary's notes could be:

* Alarm clock didn't go off and the kids arrived late to school
* Traffic was worst than ever
* You arrived late to work
* Your boss was with a bad mood
* You picked up kids from school in a worst mood than at the morning
* Mother in law came to visit you

Your stress diary can help you understand what causes your stress, how you react to stress and if your reactions are appropriate and useful

And to best analyze your stress you can also include the following information into your diary

* How stressed out do you feel
* What symptoms do you feel?
* How did you handle the stress?

Analizing the diary

If you use your dairy daily, in three to four weeks you should be able to start to see your patterns. You will be able to identify your stressors (those things that provoke you stress), and you will most probably notice that some of your stressors will be repeated on a regular basis.

So the question is: What can you do about the stressors that come and come?

If one of your stressors is a person, you can decide not to see that person again (and if you can't, at least not so often)

But although the animals have only two options: fight or flight, we as human beings can also re-define situations, we can change the way we react.

In example: if you can't stand your mother in law, instead of becoming crazy when she comes to your house, you can try different answers as:

* try to understand that's an unavoidable problem. You like to see your mother and your couple likes to se his/her mother, and that's natural
* Or try to avoid the encounter not being there
* Or talk to your couple about it and ask that you don't want that visit too often
* Or invite a friend of yours the same day, and let your couple take care of his/her mother, while you chat with your friend

Your goal should be to diminish your life's stress learning how to deal with stressful situations, and this can be done responding in a more proactive and positive manner

Every day has its own stress load

Very often we carry over yesterday's concerns into our present day concerns, or tomorrow concerns into today concerns.

Every day has its own stress load it's up to you not to multiply it. Try to live in present.

In your past, you probably should have said or done some things that you didn't. But the past is dead and you can't do anything about it, forget it, live it behind your life, don't carry it behind your back.

Relaxing tip 1: Start living mindful of the now. What's happening in your life right now?

If you have unresolved problems, you can deal with them when the proper time comes, but for now you need to live this very moment.

Take a deep breath and while you exhale let your past problems go with it. Just relax and enjoy the feeling of being at peace within you.

If you feel it helps you, find a retired place in your house, close your eyes, breathe deeply a couple of times and get in contact with your here and now in peace

Relaxing tip 2: Practice this act of quiet calm not only when you feel stressed, practice it every day.

Take a couple of minutes to improve your life. Go back to a quiet place in your mind, close your eyes, and breathe deeply a couple of times until your reach your inner place of calm.

Relaxing tip 3: Every day, spend some time doing something that really pleases you.

It's your life and happiness what we are talking about, and nobody but you are responsible for that.

Do not expect that someone else makes you feel happy and good, do it yourself!

And don't forget your body needs. You need to eat, drink and rest properly, because if you don't you are only setting yourself up for additional stress.

Relaxing tip 4: Isolate your stressors!

After you identify your stressors, choose one particular stressor and work on it until you regain control. Then you can go for the next one.

Don't try to deal with all of your stressors at the same time or you might feel overwhelmed

Slowly, as you start resolving that situations you will start to feel better knowing that a brighter tomorrow is waiting for you.

Relaxing tip 5: Don't fight alone!

If you decide to fight alone against your stressors, God will just watch you while you try it, but if you ask for His help He will help you.

Don't give up faith! You might think that something is impossible to solve, that you just can't solve it. And maybe you are right because we all have limitations, but God has no limitations, and He can decide to bring an unexpected solution to your life if you pray enough for it.

If you give up faith, you are already defeated before starting!

Go to your quiet place, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and relax. Then start imagining how you would like things to be...

Stay a moment feeling the joy of the accomplishment. And then let it go with the faith that what you want is coming into your life.

You don't have to think about how you will resolve each of your problems; you only have to imagine that they are already resolved and enjoy the moment.

If you develop the ability to relax, meditate and imagine your problems resolved you will bust stress, and take control over your life.

Article Source : stress relief yoga

About Author

Both Joshua Uebergang & Robertoab are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Joshua Uebergang has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sociology, Parental Care and Marketing and Communications. Joshua Uebergang writes a free self development and communication newsletter you can get now by visiting . Learn more about. Joshua Uebergang's top article generates over 40500 views. to your Favourites.

Robertoab has sinced written about articles on various topics from Stress Management, Cure Anxiety. Author of THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp and it's 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at and also author of The Easy Home Busin. Robertoab's top article generates over 720 views. to your Favourites.