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[L435]Living Happily Ever After

by Lesley Spencer, Les

A marriage is a completely unique relationship that we humans experience. You virtually become one with another person and share just about everything together. It is a partnership where two people ideally love and respect one another and grow to appreciate and work through differences "till death do you part."

What it is not however, is a conflict-free relationship. It is almost certain that your spouse will have annoying habits or do things that irritate you. You will not find a mate that is perfect. None of us are. We must realize this and not expect perfection from our spouse. That causes unrealistic expectations that ultimately lead to disappointment. Just as you don't want your spouse to have unrealistic expectations of you, you do not want to have unrealistic expectations of him.

We also must accept that we cannot change or fix our spouses. We can only change our expectations and ourselves. We can look for ways to be a better spouse. And it just may be appreciated and reciprocated. But even if its not, it will make you a better person and improve your relationship when you release your spouse from trying to fix him or change him. Love him and focus not on his imperfections. You married his imperfections and you married his good qualities too. Remember that.

Many people go into marriage thinking, "This person or this marriage is going to make me happy." But that is not true, we must find that joy and contentment as individuals and allow our marriage to be the "icing" – an added bonus. We must release our spouse from the responsibility of making us happy. It is not their job. Our spouses are not equipped to meet all of our needs. No man or woman is. Sure they can and should meet some of our relationship needs, but marriage is not intended to complete us -- only to compliment us. For me, it is my faith in Christ that completes me and makes me whole.

It is common to sometimes forget to give of ourselves in a relationship and forget to be others-centered. In all likelihood, we would see dramatic improvements in marriage (and all relationships) if we had the mindset of "What can I do for my spouse? How can I nurture our relationship?" In a healthy relationship, having this mindset is contagious as well. When your spouse sees you working on meeting his needs and giving of yourself, most likely he will want to reciprocate out of appreciation and love.

What is the purpose of marriage then? The purpose of marriage is to love one another, to cherish one another, to encourage one another, to be there for one another in sickness and in health, in the good times and the bad. Sound familiar? Maybe reciting those marriage vows privately or publicly isn't a bad idea. They have meaning and they have power when they are internalized, believed and lived out.

And don't forget marriage enables us to have and create the family we dreamed of as little girls. The white picket fence life may be a bit of a fairy tale, but happily-ever after does not have to be.

be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on

television and at the movies, this seems like a reality.

However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and

hard work, regardless of the ?love? factor. This is a myth

here.

Let's take a peak at some of the more common concepts above

?love? relationships and see if they are myths or based upon

reality.

If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you

find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this

in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and

attraction.

Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people

live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can

look into each other's eyes and have those warm fuzzy

feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups

and downs. ?Happily ever after? seems to imply a perfect,

problem-less relationship when in reality, those don't

exist.

If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't

exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the

couples will want to run away!

So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and

blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the

relationship of his or her dreams?

You bet!

The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge

and instructions on how to create your soul-based

relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if

you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and

learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially

how you can draw in your soul mate!

It has to be ?love at first sight? in order to work long-

term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it

certainly doesn't have to be for all couples in long-term

relationships. Many people grow together over time.

Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of

relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques

that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no

particular order, are:

- Understand your-self.

Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be

surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come

to understand or even realize why they are the way they are!

And why is this important? It determines how you look at the

world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your

life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how

to react to YOU!

- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.

Now let's take a quick peak at the basics of developing

rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask

questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour

age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and

unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and

share positive feedback.

- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts

without too much friction

How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside

pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your

relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you

feel disagreement, if you can ?agree? to disagree on certain

things with the other party involved, that will help, too.

In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with

others as you would want them to deal with you.

Once true love is found, people live happily ever after.

Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect,

problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live

happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you

will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and

learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.

Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to

draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.

Article Source : Young Marriage

About Author

Both Lesley Spencer & Www.relationships.infozabout.com are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Lesley Spencer has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marriage. . Lesley Spencer's top article generates over 880 views. to your Favourites.

Www.relationships.infozabout.com has sinced written about articles on various topics from Marriage. . Www.relationships.infozabout.com's top article generates over 880 views. to your Favourites.