Our thoughts create feelings, which in turn create vibrations that are either positive or negative. The Law of Attraction states that "like attracts like" and that what you focus your attention on will expand.
The first step to using the Law of Attraction is to get clear on what it is you do want. A powerful gift of divorce is it can give you a clear picture of what you DON'T want, which you can easily use to get clear on what you DO want. I am currently a single gal and it took me only about five minutes to create a list of over 60 qualities I don't want in a future partner. I went over my list asking myself the question, "What do I want?" instead. The answers to that question allowed me to generate a list of qualities I would like in a partner. It was empowering and a lot of fun to get clarity!
The second step is to give your desire attention. Your job in the second step is simply to maintain a positive focus on your desire, knowing that as you do so the universe is aligning people and circumstances to match that vibration. You don't have to know "how" exactly all of this will transpire for you. Let the universe do its job!
The all-important third Step is: Allow. You won't reap the benefits of the first two steps unless you get the third step right, which is to allow or receive your desires. Esther and Jerry Hicks explain that there is an unending stream of abundance available to us. Our ability to accept the abundance that is always offered is where our challenges lie.
Imagine a river flowing downstream. When you are open to receiving your desires, you're in your boat headed merrily downstream. (If you recall the lyrics of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" now, it's actually a pretty deep philosophical song!) In fact, you could even choose to drop the oars and go with the flow. Step three has you going with the flow and enjoying the scenery along the way (even if the view was somewhat different than you thought it would be).
Tools to Reduce Doubt
Many people aren't comfortable dropping the oars in their boat and going with the flow.What do your doubts sound like? Perhaps your inner critic tells you "I don't deserve this," "I'm going to be alone forever" or "I'm not good enough." Doubt impedes your ability to receive because it sends out a negative vibration. You start to put your attention on what's wrong and the Law of Attraction kicks in to give you more of what you're putting your time and energy on. Not only are you gripping the oars, but you're starting to head your boat upstream against the current.
The more you can reduce your doubt, the more owerfully and quickly you'll be able to manifest your desires. People often get impatient with the gap between where they are now and where they want to go. They give up right before they cross the finish line. One way to handle your doubts is to become aware of your doubts or limiting beliefs. Treat the words "because" and "but" as big red flags. Anything you say or think after using those words is likely a version of your limited beliefs about yourself.
Reducing your doubt, even slightly, will make it easier for you to attract what you want. Esther Hicks advises you to "soften and reach for thoughts that bring you relief" as a way to gently turn your boat from "upstream" thoughts back into the downstream current. If you feel controlled by your limiting beliefs, hire a coach to do some internal emotional housecleaning with you.
You can clear yourself of doubt by consciously collecting evidence that you are on the right track. Celebrate a stranger holding the door open for you or the unexpected check in the mail. There will be a lag time between articulating what you want and anifesting it in your reality but there will be signs along the way that you're on track that can keep you fuelled and in a positive state of attention.
The third way to help you receive is gratitude. Take the time to feel deep appreciation and gratitude for your life as it is right now. Look at the people in your life, even the ones you don't particularly like, and be grateful for the lessons you've learned and the relationships you've created.
Take Action!
1. What's up, Doc? Over the next 7 days, keep a list of your doubts and limiting beliefs. Notice what thoughts come after you use the words "because" or "but."
2. Soften into Relief. Look at your limiting beliefs and ask yourself what thought could you choose instead of which would offer you relief. Are there any people in the world who have found happiness in life after divorce? Can you see yourself as in the process of being one of them? Write down a gentler thought that starts to turn your boat downstream.
3. Collect your evidence. Keep a list of all the positive people, circumstances and situations you start to encounter and celebrate your role in attracting them to you.
4. Take a Spiritual Vitamin. Give yourself a daily dose of gratitude by writing at least 10 things for which you are grateful.
People working their way through the divorce process are often flooded with thoughts and feelings they don't want. Using words like "don't, not or no" puts focus and energy on the things we do not want to have in our lives.
For example, having the thought of "I don't want to be hurt again" keeps your awareness on being hurt. This makes it more likely that you will continue to attract the situations or relationships where you will feel hurt.
According to expert Michael Losier, there are some main steps to activating the Law of Attraction:
*Identify Your Desire *Give Your Desire Attention *Allow or Receive That Which You Desire
First: Identify Your Desire
Most people don't get what they want simply because they are not clear on what they do want. Divorce, for all of its emotional upheaval, is actually a wonderful opportunity to get clear on what you do want. You've experienced enough negatives or disappointments that have brought your relationship to an end. Why not use the specific examples of what didn't work in your relationship to get you crystal clear on what you do want for future relationships?
Here's how to get started on step one and identify what you desire. Take a moment to reflect on your relationship and name some of the elements that didn't work for you. Was there betrayal? Disrespect? Lack of cooperation? Was it hard to communicate openly? A lack of common interests? Usually people can very quickly come up with an impressive list of what they don't want!
Instead of feeling defeated by all of the ingredients in your relationship that didn't work, turn them to your advantage. For each item on your list, identify the opposite characteristic. Ask yourself, "what do I want?" For example, if "betrayal" is something you don't want, the opposite could "honesty." "Difficult to communicate" becomes "open, effortless communication."
As you work your way through the list, write the flip-side of the negative characteristic you want to leave behind so you can get clear on what you do want. Then cross the negative quality off your list and start to put your attention on what you do want!
Second: Give it Attention
If you've completed step one, you should have created a fairly inspiring list of all the qualities you do want. It's time to keep your focus and attention on what you want to attract.
In their book, Ask and it is Given, Esther and Jerry Hicks call this second step "The Universe Answers." Your job is simply to make your desire known and keep your focus on that. They say, "All things that you ask for, large and small, are immediately understood and fully offered, without exception." So this part of the process is actually out of your hands.
Creating a desire statement is a powerful way to keep your attention on it. Put together some of the qualities you want to attract into a short statement.
Affirmations, usually stated in the present tense as if you already have what you desire, aren't all they are cracked up to be. Affirming "I have an amazing, passionate relationship" when that's not yet true for you can raise doubts and negative thoughts instead of positive vibrations.
Use the phrase "I am in the process of" as a way to manage your inner dialogue while you are still in the process of attracting your desire. For example, if you are still single, using the statement "I am in the process of attracting an amazing, passionate relationship" is more accurate and believable. This allows you to more easily maintain a positive focus on what you want.
Third: Allowing or Receiving that which you Desire
This is critical to your success at using the Law of Attraction and it's the step which is least understood. Pull all the parts of the Law of Attraction together as a powerful tool to thrive after divorce.
Take Action!
1. Make a list of at least 15 things you experienced in your divorce that you don't want to have in your future.
2. Flip 'em. For each negative characteristic, ask yourself what you do want instead and get clear on the qualities you DO want.
3. Put together a short desire statement and use that to keep your focus positive. Use the phrase "I'm in the process of" to help you anchor your belief. Post it up somewhere so you'll see it often.
Carolyn Ellis has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, self improvement and motivation and Divorce and Infidelity. Carolyn B. Ellis, author, spiritual divorce coach and founder of Thrive After Divorce Inc. If you want simple life-changing tips for single parenting, visit. Carolyn Ellis's top article generates over 3600 views. to your Favourites.