It's everywhere. Product manufacturers sell it and we buy it. Advertising agencies capitalize on it. It's idealized in books, T.V. shows and movies. And yet, it eludes us. It's a mystery. And if we don't have it we feel miserable and like we're missing out on the one thing that will make life better. More peaceful. More beautiful. Because, after all, ?everyone else has it?. But we don't and we know it.
But we WANT it.
We want our life to work well, look well and feel great. We want our life to feel like a lazy afternoon on a beautiful summer day. We want it to be stress- less, free-flowing and heck, we even want it to smell good. Huh?
O.K., I admit, I want my life to smell good, but I'm not sure about you. I do know I want my senses to come alive with all things beautiful and peaceful.
Coordinated and organized.
Purposeful and meaningful.
But I had to learn, I hate to say it, to go with the flow. Because if I resist the flow, the thing I'm seeking teases me from a distance, yet is still in plain sight, only an arms length away. Tantalizing me with the thing, the experience, the peace-of-mind I want from the thing we know as BALANCE.
Before I could ?find balance? I had to define what a balanced life looked like for me personally. But that's not what this article's about. This article's about zapping the ?illusion? of what a ?life in balance? should look like, according to the picture of balance we are sold, again and again. Because whether we realize it or not, there's an idealized picture of what a well-balanced life looks like and then there's reality. So, be aware of the following myths and then go about creating a life that feels great to you and you'll finally, fortunately, find balance.
1. Balance is a one-time event.
If only! First, let me say, unequivocally, balance is not something we arrive and stay at. Balance is dynamic. Ever-changing. Moving. In order to balance a bicycle you need to keep it moving; to keep your life in balance you've got to keep it moving. And when you move anything there's a chance for error. Crashing. Tipping over.
However, the alternative isn't better. If we stay still, we run the danger of getting stuck in a rut. Trapped too long in our fears. Without movement we stop growing. We stop experiencing new things. We just stop.
Therefore, if we yearn for a well-balanced life we have to get moving AND toughen up. We're going to get bumped and bruised along the way. And that's OK, because each bump and bruise makes us stronger. It also makes us grateful for the times when we have no worries and challenges and have the opportunity to sink into the sweetness of our life.
2. Balance = Perfect
We've all been there. ?When? such-and-such happens my life will THEN be happier, peaceful, balanced. Phooey! No such thing as a perfect life. If no one has ever said it to you before, I'm saying it again; THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT LIFE!
Now, don't get me wrong. As a personal growth enthusiast, I do think you can create a life that works well and feels great. Absolutely. But that has nothing to do with perfection. It has everything to do with acceptance.
We can't be in the flow and find the sweet equilibrium of balance if we can't accept our life for what it is today. Acceptance of what is releases us from the need to have things different, better, more. Acceptance allows us to experience the NOW more fully. It allows us to let our hair down. Acceptance helps us create our lives from a present state of mind. And the only way to feel ?balanced? is NOW. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday.
Balance is all about the NOW and has nothing to do with perfection.
3. Balance is fluff.
Not really. However, I do agree, the images we see in TV ads and in magazines make balance appear a little bit fluffy. But in reality, the real down to earth experience of balance is far from fluff. It is real. It's a state of present moment consciousness. It's something we can feel in our body, in our minds and in our sprits.
We can create balance by tuning into our gut, our intuition and our feelings. We can listen to what our soul wants and then give it what it wants. Balance is something we create on the inside, not something we ?find? on the outside. Balance isn't so much about what we do; rather it's about who we are being in each moment.
Balance requires our whole selves. It requires acknowledgement and awareness. In other words, balance is a state beyond what words can describe.
And when we feel it, we know it.
Jeanette was a typical go-getter who wanted it all. Mother to three children, owner of a thriving consulting firm to Fortune 500 companies, chairman of her industry association and wife to a successful doctor. Jeanette had goals, dreams and visions of a billion dollar company but there was just one problem.
Jeanette was chronically exhausted and couldn't grow her business to the next level.
Her days started around 5:30 am and ended around midnight. Between client meetings, homework and school activities for the kids, and fitting in time to balance her check book, Jeanette barely had time to shower and brush her teeth, let alone eat a balanced meal or exercise. She was desperately trying to balance all of her priorities but always ended up feeling torn, depressed and like a failure. Inevitably, some area of her life was crashing and burning.
In our first coaching conversation, I asked Jeanette what her immediate goal was."Life balance", she said.
"With everything on your plate, is that ever going to be possible?" I asked her.
Silence. More silence. Sounds of holding back tears. More silence.
Bingo!
For most people on this planet, the idea of life balance is a complete fantasy. Somehow many of us try to manage our lives like an octopus, balancing eight things when we only have room for two, with nothing winning and everything losing. There is always way more to do than there is time in the day. Priorities can fill a yellow-pad and yet time is limited.
How does someone who is super busy ever create life balance? Reality check: you don't!
People who are able to create a lifestyle-business don'tt have a magic pill. A freedom-based lifestyle occurs with a constant evaluation of priorities followed by discipline, tough choices and focused resolution to always say yes to the best options that are aligned with our desired outcome.
Typically, something must lose our attention to win our desired outcome. Which leads me to one of my favorite sayings:
Everything you say yes to means you must say no to something else.
In an October 2004 issue of Fast Company Magazine, the author of article 'Balance is Bunk!' makes a bold statement: Many of us live by a horrible myth that -- by making a few compromises we can have it all, that is all wrong and is making many of us crazy!
My personal philosophy is life is a constant series of choices.
Some days work gets more attention, other days my spiritual practice, on others I carve out sacred time for my friendships and treasure every second. There are days I get all my exercise and other days when I barely can catch my breath between coaching calls. Unlike the octopus who can balance multiple things at one time, we truly can'tt. The brain can only really handle 5 plus or minus 2 chunks of data at one time. Anything more and overwhelm sets in.
You know your life is working if you are happy. If you are spending time on what's important to you. When you are achieving your desired goals.
If you want something else to fit into your life then say NO to something that is a lesser payoff. Or outsource it to someone who can do it faster, cheaper or better than you while you focus on your bigger, and more joyful, opportunities.
I'd like to share a coaching challenge with you from our Fast Track to a 6 & 7 Figure Lifestyle Business Mastermind program. I think of it as an octopus recovery technique and I encourage you to explore this new strategy this week. 1.Identify just one thing that you'd like more of in your life 2.Determine how much time you would need for it 3.Identify what you would be willing to STOP doing to make room for it 4.What will you do to eliminate it from your task list oDelegate it. Outsource it to someone else. oDelay it. Reschedule it to a future time. oDelete it. Just get that it doesn't serve you anymore and get rid of it. 5.Schedule the new event/opportunity/task into the new free time in your calendar (before something else shows up and takes your time away.)
If life balance is a myth, then priority management seems to be the key. Be willing to make the choices every day for what truly serves you, your family and the world around you. It's the best short-cut to happiness and fulfillment that I know!
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Cari Vollmer has sinced written about articles on various topics from Information Technology, Family Concerns and Copywriting. Cari Vollmer, personal growth expert, is the founder of LifeOnTrack.com and InspireYourDay.com. For practical life strategies and success tips, sign up for LifeOnTrack.com's FREE e-zine, LivingOnTrack, at http://www.LifeOnTrack.com. Cari Vollmer's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
Melanie Benson Strick has sinced written about articles on various topics from Debts Loans, Web Development and Internet Marketing. Melanie Benson Strick, Million Dollar Lifestyle Business Coach, teaches entrepreneurs how to stop feeling overwhelmed so they can create more money, freedom and prestige. Revolutionize your results with a free chapter from, The Power of The Virtual Team,. Melanie Benson Strick's top article generates over 6600 views. to your Favourites.