As we worked our way around the group, one of the members recognized she had become completely stalled - making no progress on one of her key goals for several weeks. I posed a question that gave everyone pause.
"What have you been tolerating?"
It sounds simple. But that's deceptive. Sometimes sheer genius is hiding in the simple.
It's very natural for each of us to startle, and say "Who me? I'm not tolerating anything!"
As I use the question, I have to laugh in understanding at that first response - it's so very much my own reaction, no matter how many times I hear the question.
Our ego pops straight up and starts deflecting, just like a defensive child. I, me, my. "Tolerating? Me? I don't 'tolerate' things. I have exactly the life I want. There's nothing weak about me. My challenges are just stuff I haven't gotten around to yet..."
After a moment of that chatter, a quiet inner voice usually speaks up. "Well, I'm annoyed by the pile of papers I haven't gotten to yet." And "Well the house / office / car isn't as clean as it should be." And then there's the list of broken electronic equipment, poorly fitting shoes, and weeds in the garden.
All answers that feel safely impersonal.
When I give this exercise to my groups, and use it for myself, we push for one hundred items.
It can be shocking to do this the first time. So many unaddressed annoyances!
As we write, an interesting shift takes place - it starts to feel playful and confessional all at the same time. And there on the page are a rich list of items that can easily be sorted into three categories:
The 2-minute Teasers
You know. These are the little tasks that ought to only take a couple of minutes to solve. Yet, when they come to mind, we shove them to the side as unimportant and flag them mentally as 'things I'll get to when I have free time.'
They keep popping up and nibbling another second's attention and another and another. It can go on for months!
My list often contains things like reorganizing the closet, getting an errant spider web down from a ceiling corner, and fixing the paint patch that's missing on the office wall. None of these are important but they constantly, quietly tug at my attention.
The 2-hour Tamers
You'd probably find these on your list as well: sorting piles of papers, returning calls that need problem solving without knowing what the outcome might be, designing the layout for the furniture in a room that just hasn't felt comfortable for ages.
They're activities that are so common we all run into them. We let them hang on for days, even months, rather than step into the unknown to sort them out. So we spend what becomes hours over weeks thinking 'about' them rather than just taking them one after the other and eliminating them.
The 2-Mind Tanglers
Every time I create my Tolerating List I confess there are 4 or five 'biggies' on the list. I'm usually thinking about them the entire time I write everything else down. These are the items that have my logical brain saying "Just Do IT!" while my emotional brain argues "Maybe this will just go away."
I see topics and issues I've seen on this list before, such as sitting down with my financial planner to determine whether I ought to take any action with my portfolio. Another is deciding to wrap up and conclude work with a client who is four times as demanding and one quarter as satisfied as my other very happy clients.
They're topics filled with complicated emotion. I anticipate I won't like dealing with them, so I dance around them rather than facing them head on.
The irony is that the very act of taking each of these on usually gets them sorted out in under a half hour - barely a quarter of the time we imagined we'd need!
The miracle of listing them is that's the first step of taking action. The rest of the steps that solve all of them are usually done within 72 hours.
So don't wait to be stalled - clear out what you're "tolerating" today, and get back all your attention for the things you're excited to be doing.
Copyright (c) 2009 Linda Feinholz
If you work from home, chances are you already know that you're really pulling ?double duty?. You probably work on your business while doing the laundry, corralling the kids, or fixing dinner... and let's not forget all the phone calls from family and friends expecting you to run errands or just "go out" for an afternoon of fun.
One of the hardest parts of running a home business is separating your work from your family and social life. Here are six proven ways to keep your home life running smoothly while keeping your business on track.
1. First, create a work schedule and stick with it. It may be tempting to answer personal calls during the day or take business calls after-hours, but doing this actually shows that you're expendable ? not dependable ? and people will take for granted that you'll ?always be there? for any little things that come up. Even though family comes first, stay true to your business hours and resist the urge to chat with friends or pick up groceries during working hours.
2. Your friends may consider ?working from home? an invitation to chat during the day or just go out for coffee or shopping for an afternoon. Make it clear that your business hours are just that ? for business. Leave personal calls for after-hours, and you'll find that your friends will gradually accept your schedule without feeling slighted.
3. Just because you have to set up a work schedule, doesn't mean that you have to keep the same hours as everyone else. One of the benefits of working for yourself is setting your own hours to fit your most productive times. Whether you're an early bird or a night owl, you'll find that you'll get much more done when you're attuned to your body's own natural rhythms. Some people work in the morning, take a break in the afternoon when the kids are home from school, and work again in the evening. Schedule your work time when you feel the most productive and you'll find that things get done easier, faster and better than when you were dragging along during those same rigid work hours that everyone else has.
4. If getting after-hours business calls or work day personal calls is a problem, it helps to have a separate business phone line, or at least an answering machine or voice mail, to take the incoming calls. This also gives your business a more professional appearance to clients than if you and your family make and receive calls from the same phone line.
5. If at all possible, try to separate your ?home office? from the rest of your home. If you don't have the luxury of a separate room, a room partition or screen can be just as helpful. This also serves as a visual cue to family that you're working and shouldn't be bothered.
6. Dress and act professionally while working. Some people find it helpful to dress in casual business attire during their working hours. This reinforces that just because you're working from home doesn't make you any less of a professional. Answer the phone with your name, or business name, and keep your children off the phone during business hours. Also, spend money investing in the tools you need to do your job right. A cell phone, fax machine or even a budget computer can help turn your home office into a true workspace.
If you follow all of these tips and stick with them, chances are you'll find a routine that not only makes you feel productive and active in your business, but also projects the message that you mean business ? literally!
Both Linda Feinholz & Jeff Casmer are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Linda Feinholz has sinced written about articles on various topics from Education Toys, Small Business and Your Online Business. Management expert, consultant, and coach Linda Feinholz is "Your High payoff Catalyst." Linda publishes the free weekly newsletter to subscribers w. Linda Feinholz's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
Jeff Casmer has sinced written about articles on various topics from Affiliate Programs, Work From Home and Search Engine Marketing. Jeff Casmer is an award winning entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and internet marketing consultant with career sales over $25,000,000. He is currently featured as a "Top" Affiliate of. Jeff Casmer's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.