|
||
There is nothing quite like it. You are out on a date, and suddenly both parties run out of things to say. The remainder of the date is a seemingly endless gauntlet of foiled conversation attempts and stretched out silences, and at the end of the night both of you know that you will probably never attempt a make up with that person.
Awkward silences can be a killer when it comes to dating; not only have you lost a prospective relationship, you have also wasted an evening. The great shame of it is, most dates have no reason at all for these awkward silences. There should always be something to talk about, and even the chronically shy can find some topic to keep the night proceeding smoothly.
The thing about a date is that it is no different than any other part of life. No matter what you are doing, there will be something to talk about. If you find yourself running out of conversation, then try to for an easy topic by focusing on the date itself- you might talk about the food or the scenery in a restaurant, your feelings on the movie you just saw. Once the conversation gets rolling, it will probably begin to stretch out into other areas and soon enough you will find that the evening is flying by. A great way to measure the quality of the conversation is by the amount of laughter between you. Laughter indicates a high level of comfort and enjoyment, so if you are both laughing chances are that the date is going well.
There are several things worse than awkward silences, if truth be told. A person trying too hard to overcome the silence may wind up making a serious ass out of herself. Know the difference between an awkward silence and a comfortable or reflective one. A reflective silence, following a particularly good point or part of the conversation, can be an even better indicator of the positive outcomes of the date than even laughter is.
Never break a silence by starting to talk about how wonderful you are. Feel free to begin by talking about yourself, but be sure to include your date in the topic- ask what he does for a living, if he enjoys it, what the future plans and goals are. This advice should be tripled for men- in fact, it is mostly guys that need to watch the silences on a date. If a girl is talking, then she is probably having a good time and the date will go down as a positive experience.
The key to avoiding an awkward date is to focus on your current conversations instead of thinking about the next topics. Avoid backtracking and keep the conversation moving forward. Above all, make sure that if you haven't heard your date say a word in a while, that you leave an opening in the conversation for her to respond. Good communication is the key to any relationship, short term or long, and it begins with good conversation.
Courtship is a gradual process that takes a lot of time in getting to know the person better. Many people who start dating have started off as friends with the person they're dating, so they know things about them that makes them potentially good partners in a relationship. However, this doesn't mean that it's easy to talk to them about safe sex.
There are so many books giving advice on what to do when you begin dating someone, how to talk about safe sex and things to look for while you're dating that person. The unique thing with self-help books is that each writer's views are different so it doesn't sound repetitive even though the concepts are the same, but the views are very different, including those surrounding safe sex.
Yet there's so much that goes into a good relationship which many people aren't fully aware of until they've dated enough people who were wrong for them to fully understand the traits of a good relationship. The traits of a good courtship always follows true that you need communication, including talking about safe sex and birth control, because if you don't have those talks and that stellar communication, you are not able to establish a basic level of trust. You want to be able to trust the person you are with, and honesty, which goes hand in hand with trust, is so essential because you want to know that your significant other is not cheating on you with other people. When you just begin dating someone, it's very important to ensure that you are practicing safe sex, because you just never know if you are truly in a monogamous relationship or not.
Part of a good courtship is that the people involved are also committed to making their relationship work and also understanding each other's feelings, especially about safe sex and birth control. Effective listening is important because you want to make the person you're dating feel like their thoughts and feelings matter. Discussing safe sex should rank at the top of your list and while the conversation may feel uncomfortable, it shouldn't be uncomfortable.
Couples who don't talk about important issues like safe sex and birth control are the ones who are likely to break up because you're not opening the channel for communication and talking about your feelings, your thoughts and your ideas. When you can't talk about what you're thinking and feeling, including topics like safe sex, that can also weaken a relationship's durability in terms of people staying together as a couple. This is why some couples do resort to counseling because they want to be able to figure out the issues in their relationship and to work through things in order to have a relationship that works.
Dating has changed quite a bit and the way courtships go. Today's dating age is a lot different than in the past generations where people actually took the time to get to know each other. In today's world, it is important to discuss important issues like safe sex and birth control and not rush into things. However, now things are pretty hurried and nobody gives the adequate time to get to know each other and talk about safe sex. People are becoming sexually involved too fast after meeting each other without talking about how they are going to protect themselves. This is risky behavior because people are not taking the time to get to know someone's sexual history or anything about them.
Most relationships don't last when the people involved are having sex too fast before getting to know each other or at least talking about safe sex and birth control. This is why some counselors advise people in self-help books to wait before getting intimate with each other, talk about safe sex and to give time to getting to know each other well before taking the relationship to that next level.