Jim & Cathy were both well-paid professionals, and had a clear agreement to share expenses. Jim believed that Cathy wasn't really keeping the agreement. He gathered evidence to prove his point.
* Cathy kept forgetting her wallet or running short of cash, manipulating him into paying for all of their entertainment expenses.
* When he asked her to pay him back, but she never seemed to get around to it. He felt ashamed to make an issue of repayment, so he usually let it drop.
* Cathy did pay her share of household bills, but Jim was so worried about her "flakiness" that he frequently questioned her anxiously about whether she was up to date.
* At one point, after hearing her talk about wanting a new car, he carefully researched which new car would be best for her. He was appalled when she bought a more expensive, sportier model.
* He urged her to keep careful records of her personal expenditures and offered to help her review them. She refused angrily and they had frequent arguments about money.
When I asked Jim what he did to contribute to the problem, Jim recognized that he was the one who started the arguments by frequently asking Cathy about what she did with her money.
When I asked what he was trying to accomplish by questioning her, Jim first said he just wanted her to be responsible. When he dug a little deeper, he realized that he wanted to be sure she could take care of herself financially and not become dependent on him.
He also recognized that frequently questioning her was not accomplishing his goal. In fact, it was making the problem even worse.
Jim also discovered that he had mixed feelings about whether a husband should be financially responsible for his wife. This ambivalence kept him from discussing the only real problem-that Cathy was breaking her financial agreement to share entertainment costs.
I asked Jim if his unexpressed resentment about the broken agreement might be connected to his judgment that she was irresponsible about money. He already knew that the "evidence" didn't really support his judgment. Cathy was responsible for everything EXCEPT sharing entertainment expenses. The connection made sense to him.
Jim still didn't feel ready to confront Cathy directly about the broken agreement, but he decided to experiment with not asking her about how she managed her own money. He also decided to tell Cathy in advance whether or not any particular entertainment activity would be his treat.
A month after he started his experiment, Jim noticed that the arguments had almost completely disappeared. The bills continued to get paid, and Cathy was occasionally volunteering to treat him to dinner and other activities.
He decided to stay married.
Remember: Almost everything you do is done for a reason, but sometimes you have to look below the surface to discover the really important hidden reason for your behavior.
It is amazing how many people, even born again Christians, are taught that wealth leads the pure pious soul into corruption. We are taught that money leads you into temptation and sin. Money will take over your life and ultimately you will be lost. You must avoid great wealth. It is sinful to desire a better life than the life you have now. Money will bring you to a horrible and eternal death. Money will become your master and lead you into eternal damnation.
The problem with this mindset is that it is exactly diametrically opposed to the truth, to God's Holy Word. It is in opposition to the success principles set out for us in God's Word. God did not create this wonderful world and all of its wealth and beauty to lead men astray or to tempt and corrupt them. He created all of the wealth in the world FOR His magnificent and favorite creation - mankind. This is primary to the success principles that you are learning.
The slavery of money comes from the lack of it. Haven't you noticed that the majority of people who do not have money are heavily in debt, work grueling hours for a pittance that doesn't cover the bills, are constantly worrying where they're going to get the money for this or that bill and are willing to do almost anything to get it. The true slaves to money are those who have to constantly seek enough of it to live (get by) in this world.
Money simply reveals who you really are. We must think deeply about this in our study of success principles. If you are greedy, money simply emphasizes your greed. If you are dishonest, money brings out this characteristic. You can not control money if you are 'poor minded'. If you are a fool (the Biblical meaning of 'without God'), you're soon parted from it. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 21:20 (NASB) "There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man swallows it up."."
There are thousands of poor Christians who religiously go to Church every time that the doors are opened. It is astounding how many born again believers are sick, poor, discouraged, plagued with debt and worry. It amazes me to see Christians falling for the old thought that they must be poor to be humble. This image of a believer was established after the death of the last disciple who accompanied Jesus Christ while He walked on earth.
Christians have become slaves to money (to not having it). They are always seeking just enough to get by. I hear Christians praying for a financial blessing. I can see God looking from Heaven, shaking His head and saying, "Read My Holy Word! I created all that is, all that exists physically for you and I have given you directions in My Holy Scripture for getting everything and more. Read My Holy Word!You can find Solomon's success principles there.
When are believers going to start believing? The excuse that money leads to evil is wrong. The DESIRE for money is the root of evil. That is when the desire for money exceeds and precedes the desire for the presence of God. You can break the bondage of financial slavery. You can remove the curse of poverty from your life. You can do this and not succumb to the temptations of this lust-filled world. If you will simply change that poverty mindset, you can attain every success that God the Father wants for you.
Can you read? Can you think? Are you teachable? Do you want to break the bonds of financial slavery? Who does not want to live a successful life, free of stress? There will always be trials and tribulations. Your finances do not have to be included.
Jesus told us that men would hate us because of Him. He told us that we would suffer trials and tribulations. Trials and tribulations are the tests by which our metal is tested. These are nothing more than character builders. You have already been told in the Bible that Christ, on the Cross, defeated Satan. Why do you insist on letting him defeat you? Why do you insist on letting a world that has been given to you, over which, through the indwelling Holy Spirit of the One True Living God, you have been given dominion, keep you down?
You are a child of the King of King, the Lord of Lords. You are an heir and co-heir with Jesus Christ of the Kingdom of Heaven. Why do you live like a pauper under the slavery of money?
Would you like to know how to break free? Would you like to live free? Would you like to provide for your family even more than they could imagine? Study the manual that gives you every solution to every problem that you face in life. Become a diligent student of Solomon's Success Principles, The Book of Proverbs.
Copyright (c) 2008 The Christian Success Institute
Both Laurie Weiss & Bobby Keating are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Laurie Weiss has sinced written about articles on various topics from Burnout, Travel and Leisure and Guide Guitar. Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., internationally known therapist, coach and author, has been helping people create conscious, loving relationships for over 30 years. See Being Happy Together: How to Create a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than a. Laurie Weiss's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.
Bobby Keating has sinced written about articles on various topics from Computers and The Internet, Network Marketing and Marketing and Communications. Pastor Bobby is an Evangelist, Success Coach and The Director of . Pastor Bobby believes that God wants all w. Bobby Keating's top article generates over 3600 views. to your Favourites.