Men are as varied as girls when it comes to what they find a turn on in the other gender. Some men are drawn to eyes to begin with, some guys are drawn to a smile or sense of adventure, while still others could be attracted to clothing or personal style. It varies across the spectrum. The good news is that on the question of character, men are surprisingly consistent. There are just some qualities that guys find attractive. For the most part, these can be reduced down to 5 key traits men seek in a girl. 1. Self sufficiency – Clingy girls are a real turn off. Being independent and having a life of your own not only demonstrates that you are a one of a kind, lively woman, it also indicates that you are confident enough to leave your boyfriend for periods of time, and gives himthat much needed and often-talked-about “space". It is wonderful to feel adored, but too much of a good thing can feel overwhelming. Having external interests and activities is vital – and also gives your man time to look forward to seeing you again! 2. Confidence – Study after study proves that the sexiest trait in both gender is confidence. When you are content in your skin, it shows other people that there is something to be happy about, that you have substance and quality. A little jealousy is natural and can even be attractive, but a constantly second-guessing, insecure girl, who always questions your actions and intentions is deeply unattractive. Be confident and take him at face value. If he’s unfaithful, he’s the one that loses out, you’ll dump him for a more deserving guy. 3. Be Calm – A girl worked up is a guy’s living hell. From his pestering mother to his irritating ex-girlfriend, your partner has probably seen a whole lot of feminine psychotic episodes. These occurrences are frightening for guys, who avoid them at all costs. Be open, relaxed, and rational as much of the time as you can, and your relationship will grow. If you are consistently agitated and/or illogical, your boyfriend will not want to spend time with you, especially in times when he likely wants you the most. Be there for him, in a calm, empathetic and reasonable way. 4. No Guy Wants to be Hen Pecked! Know your fights, and select them thoughtfully. Like everyone, guys can be somewhat stubborn or silly at times. You need to learn when to stand your ground and when it’ll cause more throuble than it’s worth. Pestering never solves the problem, most often impedes the solution, and always ends up evoking resentment. 5. Tolerance (for his likes, dislikes, his mom, his friends, etc.) – This one is fatal. There has to be respect in a relationship, and it has to go both ways. This means listen to alternatives, give full support and don’t demean in any way, shape, or form especially in public or in front of friends and family. Even if it goes against the grain, sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. You might not appreciate all his decisions, or particular aspects of his life, and you don’t have to – however you do have to tolerate them.
I am going to assume that the majority of men that clicked on this article don't need to be persuaded that going after many different women at the same time is both fun and beneficial. But I believe we should analyze the potential benefits more deeply. And for you gentleman wanting to find that one perfect lady I think it's all the more vital that you read this letter carefully.
If you are going after lots of girls, one or two rejections is no big deal. If I am actively pursuing 10 girls at the same time and two of them flake I have a wonderful place to refocus my attention: 8 other lovely prospects. In fact,if you view your failures as learning experiences than you can take whatever you may have learned from the two flakes and instantly apply those lessons to subsequent interactions. In essence, failure can become exciting and fun! (Although clearly it should never be your goal)
There's an old joke that always stuck with me: How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! Practice makes perfect. You don't come out of the womb with great seduction skills. It is comprised of many learnable skill sets and therefore takes a certain amount of dedication. The more women you are pursuing, the more opportunities you have to make connections between situations and occasionally have a revelation or two. Back when I was a wee babe I played the piano and made sure I had an hour daily to drill the scales. Now I set aside an hour or two a day to text and make phone calls to my prospects. And in the evenings I'm out with many of them 'practicing' in person. The point is, the more women you are actively pursuing, the more practice you are getting and the faster you will develop.
Building on practice is this key idea: Having multiple girls in your sights encourages you to experiment and take risks with them. I cannot overemphasize how essential this idea is. Knowing that we have 'backups' in place can fuel us to take risks that we would normally hesitate on. We can use this newfound freedom to try out new techniques. We can use it to actually go with our impulses instead of blocking them.
All of the most important discoveries and breakthroughs I've made have been a direct result of this concept. You can read about pickup and think about pickup as much as you want but if you're not actually out there taking chances with it you are not going to improve at all. And if all you're thinking about is 'your main squeeze' it's going to be impossible to apply this vital perspective.
And perhaps the most important reason for having multiple prospects is this: your behavior and your energy will change for the better without even thinking about it. If you really think about it, we are strategically placing ourselves in the same mindset that beautiful women are in. These kinds of ladies have enough guys after them that they can't even stay organized and flake by default much of the time. This is one of the reasons I purposely schedule many of my 'dates' with different women for the same evening. (A technique I discuss more in 'No Flakes') Now the situation is flipped and I am having to cancel with them. There is a change in your very energy; it is free (or freer) of any hint of desperation or neediness. The more prospects you have on your plate, theless anxiety you will experience over any one of them. And as women are typically more intuitive than men, they will most certainly pick up on this.
In other words the more women I am gaming, the better my success rate is with them. So to the man who says, "No, I just want to find the one girl for me!" I say in response: You'll have a much better chance of finding her if you're exploring multiple options, and she will probably be much more receptive to you because of the positive changes in your behavior as a result of having those options.
Both Justin Parfitt & Julian Foxx are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Justin Parfitt has sinced written about articles on various topics from Flirting Tips. Dating Tips by Justin Parfitt, The CEO of FastLife Speed Dating, the worlds largest speed dating and singles events service. Fastlife hosts speed dating events in 47 cities in 6 countries including. Justin Parfitt's top article generates over 165000 views. to your Favourites.
Julian Foxx has sinced written about articles on various topics from Get Ex Back, First Date and Flirting Tips. To discover the most cutting edge dating advice out there, check out these links: . Julian Foxx's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.