Single parents and teenagers ? these two words bring to mind the most challenging phases of life. I know because I was raised by a single parent, and not so long ago I was a teenager. I remember the life challenges my own mother encountered as a single parent. Here are 5 tips to help you navigate the ever changing challenges of being a single parent:
1. Remember you are still a family
Regardless of the circumstances your family is still a family - even if it does not have two parents. There are many single parent families that are emotionally healthy. It is a matter of choice, not luck. They choose to make their families emotionally healthy, fun and one that is filled with positive memories.
Parent Tip: Think about the ideals that you want your family to be known for, and write them down. Perhaps make a door hanger or craft that contains symbols of these ideals to remind you of them.
2 Talk with your teen about their feelings
As you may know, your teen may also be experiencing feelings of loss. Regardless of the age and circumstances, your child may have feelings of sadness or anger or just feeling different than their peers. Allow your son/daughter to talk to about how they are feeling. This will also help the relationship you have with them.
Parent Tip: Look for teachable moments. Those special times when you know your teen is really listening to you, and is engaged, and take advantage of it. Teachable moments are a rarity, so seize the moment.
3. Stay involved.
As best you can, continue to be involved in their lives. Show them you are still committed to them despite your stresses. Consistency in your behavior will shout louder than your words.
Parent Tip: Attend school functions. Find those things you both have to do anyways throughout the week and do them together. Eat meals together. Go for a morning or evening walk together.
4. Teach responsibility
Teenagers are usually begging for parents to give them their independence. One of the best ways to teach responsibility is to give them chores to do around the home. Address chores not as something you are nagging them to do, but an opportunity for your teenager to show he/she is responsible to handle more independence.
Parent Tip: Start with small responsibilities and then work into more independence with greater responsibilities. For example, you may begin with teaching them to do their own laundry before letting them drive your vehicle.
5. Live within your means.
As a counselor, I have often seen where parents incur a great deal of financial debt in order to "care" for their teenagers. They want them to have the right kind of clothes, have their own cars and other "necessities" the teenager says they "need." This approach is lose-lose for everyone. Teenagers are not taught about proper spending, and the parents' credit card bills stack up as does their financial stress.
Parent Tip: Educate your child on healthy spending habits. If they are of employment age, have them work to earn money to pay for their own "necessities." Likewise, educate yourself on healthy spending habits.
It is 20 minutes before the bell rings, and you are rushing out the door or at least trying to. You call out to your teenager to hurry, grab the toaster pastry from the toaster and get in the car. Meanwhile, you are putting the finishing touches on your own appearance praying that there are no red lights on the way to school. Sound familiar? Here are some tips to help your morning go smoothly:
1.Establish a routine
Routines provide a sense of peace and even comfort to many people. You know what to expect, and there is no guesswork. A morning routine is a great way to ease into your day. Adding a very basic routine to your morning can eliminate stress and chaos on school mornings.
2.Involve your teenager
Teenagers crave independence. Therefore, when establishing a morning routine, it is essential that you involve your teenager. If he/she does not have any ownership then there is a good chance that your routine will become combative. Tackle the problem together of how to have a smooth morning, not just for you but for them as well!
3.Consider temperament
A person's natural temperament can have a lot to do with his morning routine. Is your teenager more of an early riser or night owl? An early riser may like to shower in the morning, while a night owl may prefer to shower at night. If your teenager is a night owl, then attempting to transform her into an early riser is probably not going to work.
4. Meal planning
How many times have you woken up asking the question, "What are we going to have for breakfast?" Then you dash into the kitchen praying there is something of nutritional substance. Or you try to get dressed in a quicker fashion, so that you or your teenager can stop by the local fast food place to scarf down something to eat on the way to school. Meal planning can bring some relief not only to your morning routine, but also your dinner one as well. It can also save money, especially with increasing food costs.
5.Avoid confrontation
Who likes to start the morning off with conflict? Mornings are not the optimal time to discuss conflict. Find a regular time to discuss things with your teenager, and leave the morning for just starting the day. Some conflicts require more time to resolve than just a morning when you are trying to get ready.
6.Get organized
Organization tends to get a bad wrap. For many it conjures up feelings of boredom and micromanagement. On the contrary, getting organized can eliminate stress and make life enjoyable. Getting organized does not have to be elaborate. It can simply mean getting a calendar to list all of the academic activities on it, or even having a specific place for your keys so you do not have to scramble to find them.
Both Terre Grable & are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Terre Grable has sinced written about articles on various topics from Family Concerns, Gift Ideas and Family. Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out