What really makes people happy? It's a question I'm sure you've pondered and one that's always fascinated me. Everything we do ? our relationships, career, shopping, service work ? is aimed at making us happy. Yet I'm sure you've noticed at times, despite all you do to find happiness, you're left feeling that something vital is still missing. Or worse, if any of these things do make you happy, you find you're scared to lose them. Is there a way to cut to the chase ? and experience true and lasting happiness that isn't Dependant on external circumstances? In my new book, Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, I answer this very question.
After years studying happiness ? interviewing scores of experts and unconditionally happy people, as well as delving into the research from the burgeoning field of Positive Psychology ? I sat down one day to review my findings. Suddenly I had a simple, but profound "a-ha": there's a continuum of happiness:
Unhappy: We all know what this means: anxiety, fatigue, feeling blue or low?your "garden-variety" unhappiness. This isn't the same as clinical depression, which dramatically interferes with your ability to live a normal life, and for which professional help is absolutely necessary.
Happy for Bad Reason: When people are unhappy, they often try to make themselves feel better by indulging in addictions or behaviors that may feel good in the moment but are ultimately detrimental: drugs, alcohol, excessive sex, "retail therapy," compulsive gambling, over-eating and too much television-watching, to name a few. This kind of "happiness" is hardly happiness at all. It is only a temporary way to numb or escape our unhappiness through fleeting experiences of pleasure.
Happy for Good Reason: This is what people usually mean by happiness: having good relationships, success in our careers, financial security, or using our talents and strengths well. It's the pleasure we derive from having the healthy things in our lives that we want.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for this kind of happiness! It's just that being Happy for Good Reason depends on the external conditions of our lives ? if these conditions change or are lost, our happiness usually goes too.
That's when I realized that there is one more level on the happiness continuum ? Happy for No Reason.
Happy for No Reason: This is true happiness ? a neurophysiological state of peace and well-being that isn't dependent on external circumstances.
Happy for No Reason doesn't mean grinning like a fool 24/7 or experiencing a superficial high. Happy for No Reason isn't an emotion. In fact, when you are Happy for No Reason, you can have any emotion ? including sadness, fear, anger or hurt ? but you still experience that underlying state of peace and well-being.
Most of us focus on being Happy for Good Reason, stringing together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We have to spend a lot of time and energy trying to find just the right beads so we can have a "happy necklace."
Being Happy for No Reason, in our necklace analogy, is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace ? good, bad or indifferent ? our inner experience, which is the string that runs through them all, is happy, creating a happy life.
So it turns out, you can be Happy for No Reason. In fact, it's the happiness we've all been looking for. When you're Happy for No Reason, it's not that your life always looks perfect ? it's just that however it looks, you'll still be happy.
(Excerpted from the New York Times bestseller, Happy from No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, Free Press, January 2008, and reprinted with permission of the author, Marci Shimoff).
So many of you have been asking about the upcoming release of my book Happy for No Reason and I'm happy to tell you that it hits the bookstores on January 1, 2008!
Being happy has always been the chief desire of every human being on planet earth ? including me. Yet despite my successful career, loving relationships, and wonderful health, something always seemed to be missing. What about you?
If you and I were sitting over some tea at a sidewalk caf?, and I asked you "Are you happy?" What would your answer be?
A few of you might say, "Absolutely ? if I were any happier, I'd be twins!" (Okay, that would be a very few of you.)
A lot of you would probably reply, "Sometimes."
But I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that at least half of you would say, "No, not really."
Some people enjoy their lives no matter what happens, while others can't find happiness no matter how hard they try. Most of us fall somewhere in-between.
Well, after 35 years of research I can say that happiness isn't some abstract emotional state based on what we have or achieve in life. It really is a physiological state of lasting inner peace independent of any conditions in our day-to-day lives.
It turns out that each of us has a fixed range of happiness, a "Happiness Set-Point," similar to the thermostat of a furnace that keeps a room at a specified temperature.
No matter what happens in life, whether it's something as exciting as a dream vacation or as challenging as a horrible accident, most people eventually return to their original happiness level.
And? here's the exciting part. You can raise your Happiness Set-Point permanently. That's right. It's possible to be happier from the inside out'no matter what happens to you. That's what it means to be Happy for No Reason.
As you know, the Law of Attraction simply states that like attracts like. Whatever you think, feel, say, and act upon, like a magnet, you draw to you.
Kick it into action. Since this is our first issue, we'll start with the very first step for any successful action, which is to set your intention. Right now, commit yourself to raising your Happiness Set-Point.
To begin, create a powerful affirmation that will help move you one step higher on the happiness scale. For example, "I am grateful that I am experiencing a deep state of inner peace and happiness."
Close your eyes and imagine how you would feel differently if you were at this higher level. How would your daily life be different? Your relationships? Your work? Experience the sensation of happiness in your body and your heart ? you'll probably find yourself smiling.
Use your affirmation and this visualization several times throughout your day, because when you invest your time, energy, thoughts, and feelings with the vibration of being happy, your happiness expands.
And that's the real secret to fulfilling all of your desires, according to Rhonda Byrne, author and creator of The Secret ? and one of the happiest people I know. "The shortcut to anything you want in life is to BE and FEEL happy now! It is the fastest way to bring money and anything else you want into your life."
In future issues of the Happy for No Reason ezine I'll outline the other actions necessary for experiencing true and lasting happiness that build on this first important step.
Happily,
Marci
P.S. Next time I'll share some of the happiness secrets I've learned from the "Happy 100" ? people who've truly built an unshakeable inner home for happiness in their lives.
Marci Shimoff has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Interest and Web Development. Marci Shimoff is author of the new book Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out; plus Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul and Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, making her one of the bestselling female nonfiction authors of all time. Marci Shimoff's top article generates over 74000 views. to your Favourites.