European nuke negotiators presented their latest package of incentives to Iran, the renegade uranium enriching supporter of terrorism and irresponsible purveyor of bellicose vituperation, and were met with a surprising response. The mullah-dominated nation, while noting there were promising aspects to it, also demanded free pizza delivery.

The Iranian President, parading his usual irascible dignity, stated, "What do they think we are - a nation that only likes falafel? No, we are too advanced for such a derogatory colonial concept! We like pizza, too,and we demand pizza!"

Asked about the Iranian position, President Bush said, "Look, if they want pizza, they can have pizza, but they have to agree that it's either Pizza Hut or Dominoe's, so there's more in the deal for America, too. And they don't have forever to decide which chain they want. It's a matter of weeks, not months!."

Britain, France, Germany and especially Italy demanded that, if the agreement goes forward, they would also get a slice of the pie.