Relationships are one of the most frustrating aspects of human existence. It seems like some kind of cosmic joke that men and women are so different in every way, yet we're supposed to pair up successfully. It can seem impossible to tell what the opposite sex is thinking and how we can respond. Unfortunately, many men depend on an ill-informed set of criteria to decode what they think women want. Eyelash batting is a sure sigh if you're into the middle-school set. What you should be keeping your eyes peeled for is a combination of positives and negatives. Here's some insight to how real women show there interest, or lack of.
1- Body Language -
This is a big one. There's a lot of information to be gathered here. It will tell you if she's interested, and it can tell you if she's not. . Pay attention to how she's sitting. Are her legs crossed toward you or away from you? If they're toward you, then chat with her; if they're away, then you should go away too. If she's closed off, meaning she's physically withdraw from you: turns away, folds her arms, avoids eye contact, she's telling you to keep moving. If you see the opposite behaviors, have a seat.
2- The eyes have it -
If her body language says yes, then you're probably close enough to check out her eyes. Our pupils dilate when we look at something we desire. There's no way to fake it either way. It's basic biology.
3- Get a clue -
If you're not catching the nonverbals she's throwing out, listen to the words that are coming out of her mouth. There are certain topics a woman will never broach with a man she'd like to get to know better, and some things she's only say if she's into you:
* Exes - If she talks about other guys, even ex boyfriends, she's saying there's no room for you.
* Eternity - If she goes over the top about how she's itching to tie the knot, she's either got issues you don't want to get involved with or she wants rid of you. It's a fail proof way to run a new guy off. The same goes for any degree of biological clock ticking.
*Interrogation - If she's interested, she'll ask. It's that simple. No woman is going to ask get-to-know-you-type questions to a man she doesn't want to know about. If she's asking about your job, your family, your extra curricular activities, treat it like a job interview. You are being evaluated for compatibility and boyfriend potential.
So, forget everything you think you know about hair twirling and giggling. Grown women don't behave that way. Dating can be tricky, especially at the start, but there's no need to complicate things by trying to play it like a guessing game. Responding to simple social cues will save a lot of confusion for all involved. Uncomplicated relationship doesn't have to be an oxymoron.
The first tell tale sign that a man will need to decipher is the eyes. Always try to steal glances at your sweet heart to catch her attention. Then quietly observe her to see if she reciprocates. If she enjoys your attention, she'll do her own testing and return glances your way to see if you're really checking her out. If she is returning your glances, you're in her good books.
Here's when many impatient men make a mistake. They make their moves too early. At this stage, all the man knows is that the girl doesn't hate him. But there's still a need to learn more about her habits, her likes and dislikes, her interests and so on. In other words, taking the time to find out more about the girl will really help.
Friends are a great help if they're available and you happen to know them but what if they are not available? Then your only option is to rely on your observation skills. Any little bit of information may come in useful later on.
When you feel comfortable enough, it's now time to look for the right opportunity to speak to the girl. The wrong way to do this is to memorize some cheesy pick up lines and repeat them from your head. Never, ever use pick up lines. They make you look insincere, and it's kind of hard to generate a good conversation from a pick up line anyway.
The right way to do this is to connect with the girl. What is she doing right at that moment? For instance, if she's buying coffee, go over and say something like, "I see that you like ice blended mocha. I like coffee too. Can I buy you a coffee some time?"
Now if you do something like this, do not be too bothered about the answer. Watch out for the second tell tale sign: the body language and the tone of voice. Is the girl moving away from you physically? Does she sound pleased that you went over to talk to her?
If she isn't moving away, and she sound pleased, the answer would be a likely, "Sure, I'd love to have coffee some time."
Finally, be sensitive and don't be a jerk. If it's time to back off, back off, and wait for another opportunity.
Both Scott Patterson & Gen Wright are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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