With all of the advice out there on how to rebuild your relationship, why not look at tips to keep your already healthy relationship in tact? There are plenty of things that you should avoid in order to make your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from unnecessary miscommunication as well as arguments. In fact, these tips can help you in every relationship that you have ? read on.
DON'T be right all the time
There's nothing more frustrating in a relationship than a person who insists that they are always right. No one is right all of the time, and it's time that you realized that. It takes a much stronger person to admit that they were wrong than it is for someone to not admit that they may have made a mistake. Don't be the know it all.
DON'T refuse to apologize
You will have something that you need to apologize for at some point, even if you don't think that it's a big deal. When you allow your partner to hear that you are sorry about something, you allow them to see that you are willing to move past something in order to have a healthier relationship. And even if you don't think that you are wrong, apologizing is a great way to start fixing the situation instead of making it worse.
DON'T know the other person better than they know themselves
If you've ever been in a fight or a discussion when another person has claimed to know what you want, doesn't that feel upsetting? You want to avoid doggedly trying to prove that you know more about the other person than they do ? because that just isn't the case. Take the time to consider their feelings and thoughts when they tell them to you. To not let them have a say is to make the conversation one sided.
DON'T assume anything
When you start to assume something, you start to chip away at the truth. IF you want to know about something, the other person is going to have to tell you what you need to know. Assuming that someone feels a certain way or that they want you to do a certain thing is only going to set you up for possible problems. Assuming is really just guessing.
DON'T rub it in
If you do find out that you are right about something, you don't want to constantly rub the fact in long after the discussion is over. Your relationship isn't about someone being right; it's about the two of you being happy. If you're right, you're right, but then you need to move on. Your partner will not appreciate being reminded that they were wrong.
DON'T put your priorities first
While you both want to have your needs and wants addressed, when you try to focus more on your own needs than your partner's needs, you will be seen as selfish and uncaring. A relationship means that you are putting someone else's needs before your own, and in doing so, allowing your needs to be fulfilled as well. Seek out their needs to see how you can compromise to make both of you happy.
DON'T interrupt them
When you're trying to make a point, you might feel that your words are more important than theirs, but this is not helpful. If you are interrupting what someone else is saying all the time, two things happen: one, you're not hearing what they are saying, and two, you are showing that your opinions are more important than theirs. Instead, stop yourself and make a mental note to bring up your point when they are finished.
DON'T make promises you can't keep
You aren't going to be perfect, but when someone is counting on you to help maintain a good relationship; you need to be able to hold up your part of the bargain. This means that you need to be able to make promises that you can keep. And when you do make a promise to someone, they need to be able to expect that you will follow through ? every time. If you can't make a promise, then let them know that you will try your hardest, but that you can not promise it. This allows them to have realistic expectations of you.
No relationship is perfect, but there are plenty of ways that you can keep it from becoming unhealthy.
A lot of anger management resources are available today so there is no reason that you should not seek anger management help if you need it.
But first and foremost, (I always come back to this), what can you do to help yourself?
Anger Management Help Tip #1: Change your body language.
Every emotion has a physiology that goes with it. You never see depressed people jumping about triumphantly, nor do you hear people happily in mid-jive talking about their money worries in that moment.
Anger has a tense, snarling, coiled spring kind of physiology, and the great thing about your body is that you can change it about as fast as you can blink.
What state would you prefer? Controlled? Philosophical? How about cool, man?
Okay, let's for the sake of example, pick that one. How do you move when you're being cool? How do you hold your shoulders? How about your facial muscles? How fast or deep do you breathe?
Come on, you know the answers! So get into cool - now! You can do it! It only takes a second, and if you do it for even ten seconds, it will take the heat out of the anger.
Practice now, while you've still got your thinking head on. (Unless I've already made you angry, of course!)
Anger Management Help Tip #2: Think a different thought.
Hear that voice in your head? "That s-o-b's done it again! I'm gonna kill this time! Grrrrrr!!!"
Let's play with the voice a little. Turn the volume right down. Let it be whispered by the sexiest person you can imagine, as if they were purring, "Ready for bed yet, baby?" Now change the actual words too. You're in control here, have you got that yet?
Try something like, "That person probably pee'd their pants when they were a year old just like I did. And what would they be like with a clown's nose on right now...?"
It sounds daft, but it will change your life and the other person's too. It might just save your relationship. It could potentially save you from jail!So be daft for a minute or two of your life, okay?
Anger Management Help Tip #3: Change A Belief.
What do you have to believe is true for you to get so angry? That you're darn' right about something? You have a right to feel and act this way? Erm, those aren't going to stand up to much scrutiny are they?
What if you believed something like this: "When I allow myself to be quiet, a solution always shows up"? It doesn't have to be exactly, accurately true, like in a scientific sense. It could be more like a superstition. But plenty of people believe in superstitions. A zillion ladders are walked around every year!
By stopping and questioning yourself in this kind of way, you'll break those destructive patterns. And then you'll discover that you're managing your anger!
If you're still not, for any reason, then please, do yourself and those you love a favour and get some professional help.
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Both Cucan Pemo & Trevor Emdon are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Cucan Pemo has sinced written about articles on various topics from Divorce and Infidelity, Family and Marriage. - A Potent 4-Step Strategy which always work! ... No matter how stubborn the resistance, no matter how far. Cucan Pemo's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
Trevor Emdon has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dating and Romance, Marketing and Communications and Online Dating. Trevor Emdon is a self improvement author, life coach and workshop leader. He is a trained mental health professional & NLP practitioner.For advice, free articles and more about heartbreak recovery, visit his website. Trevor Emdon's top article generates over 165000 views. to your Favourites.