It may sound tedious,I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.
1. What You Know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned.
My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.
2. Listening.
It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.
3. Humility.
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.
4. Eye Contact.
There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.
5. Kidding Around.
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.
6. Be Like The Rest Of Them.
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.
7. Me, Myself, and I.
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do!
Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.
8. With a Smile.
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.
9. A Role Model.
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.
10. Preparation.
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.
And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.
Human beings are social beings and we are interacting with people every day of our life. Often, our happiness depends a great deal on how the interactions with each person turn out. This is especially true of those whom we care about e.g. in close friendships as well as in marriage. However, because each personality we deal with is unique and presents its own challenges, managing the myriad of relationships requires us to consciously observe the process and impact of our interactions so that we continue to gain knowledge, understanding and experience in developing relationships in a positive way.
I have realized that to have good management of relationships, we need to be assertive and honest in sharing our thoughts, feelings and concerns. However, this needs to be done in a way that does not provoke the other party, but is instead respectful and encourages both parties to listen to each other. A good way to do this is through the communication technique of "I" Messages.
In "I" messages, statements are made about ourselves, how we feel and our concerns, and what actions of the other party has led to the concerns. "You" messages focus on the other person and would usually lead the other party to become defensive unless the "You" message is a positive statement of the other person. For example, a husband or wife is waiting for the return of the spouse and when the spouse returns, he or she might be greeted by this: "You are always coming home late! Why can't you come back earlier?" This "You" message leads to the spouse feeling blamed and attacked and the ensuing communication would likely not be an amiable one. In a conflicting situation, "You" message focuses on attacking the other person. As a result, the primary issues are pushed aside. In contrast, in this same scenario, an "I" message would look like this: "I feel rather lonely while waiting for you to come home. I'm concerned that you are often home late and I get rather frustrated wondering when you're going to be home." In this statement therefore, the speaker shares his or her feelings and concerns. The clear communication of the concern is a good starting point for both parties to work out what can be done about it.
"I" messages are effective because the focus is on the issue or concern and not on the other person. The sharing of the speaker's feelings can also lead to more trust in the relationship as it shows the speaker is willing to look within himself or herself and take responsibility for his or her feelings.
In fact, generally in most interactions, my opinion is that the use of "I" messages is always superior to "You" messages and is a more respectful way of communicating. So, even when expressing positive feelings, a "You" message: "You look good in this dress", could be enhanced by "I" messages: "I'm so happy to see you. I remember all the fun we used to have. You look good."
Generally, there are three parts to an "I" message:
I feel _________________ (express your feeling)
when you _____________ (describe the action that affects you or relates to the feeling)
because _______________ (explain how the action affects you or relates to the feeling)
The order in which the 3 parts are expressed is usually not important. Sometimes a fourth part might be added. This states our preference for what we would like to take place instead. Examples of more "I" messages:
"I get very anxious when you raise your voice at me because it makes me feel like I've done something very wrong. Could you please not raise your voice when we talk?" "I'm so happy you're learning to cook because then I'll know you can prepare your own meal when I'm unable to be home in time to cook." "When you take so long talking to your friend on the phone, I'm concerned that there might be urgent calls that cannot come through. Also, I feel frustrated as I would like to spend more time with you. How about asking your friend to call at another time, when I am not around." Use of "I" messages might not come naturally to most people initially. However, with practice, you will be surprised at how you will begin to like this communication approach, especially when you begin to experience the good result of better quality interactions and more harmonious relationships.
Reference:
1. ForbiddenPsychologicalTactics
2. How to be happy 3. Motivate Your Way to Success
Jacob Gan has sinced written about articles on various topics from Diabetes Treatment, Self Improvement and Motivation and Marketing and Communications. Jacob Gan PhD (Michigan) has more than 20 years of teaching experience in a university and 8 years of business/industrial experience. He writes for,. Jacob Gan's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.