Print Article for : How To Help Children

Your Online Guide » Relationship Advice » outdoor activities for kids

[H1246]How To Help Children

by ,

Most children live in an idyllic world of Saturday cartoons and the loving care of their parents. Unfortunately, there comes a time when a child will experience death for the first time and it becomes the responsibility of parents to educate their young children on the subject of death and dying. Most children do experience death in one form or another during their childhood, be it losing a pet, a family member, or something else.

1. Make Your Discussion Easy To Understand

Don't avoid talking about death with your children, nor should you explain it in such a way that would instill a fear of death. Most children, however, have never seen a real dead body or have had a lengthy discussion with their parents about what, if anything, happens after we die.

2. Strategies For Talking About Death

Explaining an idea such as death is different from explaining something physical that your children are able to see, taste or touch. Try and explain things from the simplest level you can. If you wish, you can use this as an opportune time to go over the other big talk you will need to have with your children.

3. Essential Tips For Helping Children Through Loss

- Children sometimes ask when they will be able to see their loved one again
- No matter how small your childs pet be sure to give a proper funeral
- Often, children will express themselves through actions rather than words
- Never mislead children by telling them the deceased will come back
- Encourage children to share their feelings

Most importantly it is critical that you keep talking to your child. Keep the lines of communication open by asking them how they are feeling. Sometimes children will have nightmares about death or losing someone and it's important to talk through these dreams. Some children try to hide their confusion and sadness, and it's important to see beyond the surface and get them to open up to you. Just because they are children does not mean that they don't feel things deeply. If a child keeps their pain and confusion bottled up, it will come back to haunt them in later years.

4. Inform Children At An Early Age

Children should be given ample time to mull over the concepts of life and death in their minds. Do not wait until their pet dies in order to explain the subjects of death and dying to your children. Although death is a certainty of life, your children should not have to be scared or confused because of it.

Spanish educator David Isaacs, PhD suggests that parents lay the foundation for prudence by instilling four good habits during the first seven years of life. Namely: obedience, sincerity, order, and justice. He believes that these four habits are needed in the progressive development of other good habits within the next three phases: charity and fortitude (courage) in elementary level (8 to 12), faith and temperance (self-control) in adolescence (13-15), and hope and prudence (sound judgment) in young adulthood (16-18). Furthermore, those who have these virtues will naturally find happiness and human maturity, he concludes.

Obedience

A loving but firm parental authority exercised in each home prevents domestic chaos – clutter, sickness, hunger, shouting, violence, disrespect, and rebellion. Imagining chaos in infants and toddlers may seem tolerable, but when we project this in adolescents and grown-ups with a voice, a choice, and plenty of muscle… no one wants to end up the loser. Young children must learn to obey their parents' reasonable demands (not mere trivialities), but they also have to hear kind simple explanations to common rules, situations, and events.

It is through a consistent, regular, and clear communication of the parents' pleasure or displeasure, approval or disapproval, happiness or sadness toward ideas, words, and/or actions that children begin to experience and understand the value system of their family. This value system will be validated, respected, or rejected in later life based on the methods used, attitudes absorbed, emotions attached, and information gathered from home, school, or elsewhere. Inconsistency will easily confuse inexperienced young minds, which have not yet learned the purpose of life.

Sincerity

Sincerity (telling the truth at the proper time and to the proper person) must be practiced at home. The children must imbibe it in the context of helping loved ones to improve (out of charity and justice). Children will likely be more confident in this type of home environment and prefer it to a contrary one.

It will be difficult for the good and true to be embraced by those who grow up with lies and end up with bad habits (or vices) and muddled criteria. If they turn cynical and become individualistic – instead of accepting their vital role in the success of their own family, as well as the larger community – they delay their own chances for true and lasting happiness. And no parent consciously wants this to happen!

Thus, it is critical for parents to expose their family members to reliable criteria and genuine good (not mere apparent good), so that they can encourage their children's potential abilities to know the truth and to love good. This is done using two of their more important, separate, but interlinked powers of the intellect and the will present in the soul of human beings, making us all accountable.

The third habit of order provides the family, especially the young children, a sense of predictability and stability because procedures are followed and many things are done properly at their place and time. Nothing ruins a child's equilibrium more than disorder – in his caregiver, his schedule, his bed, and so on. Even parents need order to maintain their own well-being and sanity. Note that a lot of affection is more effective than reasoning in making sure family members get along well.

Justice

The young inherently value justice because of their natural demand for parental time and love, in competition with siblings, work, and other distractions (to a child's mind). They are ready to understand the importance of fairness in what is due them (or others) in ordinary circumstances. Adults are expected to apply rules and sanctions equitably lest children rebel and defy authority figures and rules.

Children must get the message that life makes sense, rules make sense, and consequences make sense. They need to see things as they are over what they seem, and be able to choose a path that will lead them closer to universal values, or their ‘true norths.'

Article Source : Pg. 1

Mich Thompson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Kids and Teens. Mich Thompson is a mother of three and has experience of speech and language therapy and child phycology. Claim your free parenting eBook here