Because society often sees single people as sad and alone, I stayed in bad relationships and was deeply lonely. For insight on how I ended up in toxic relationships, you need to understand where I came from.
I grew up poor, in a house that was filled with drugs and predators. My mom was supporting two children and was rarely home, so I grew up feeling rejected and alone. Do you see the pattern?
My older brother used drugs to escape and I used food. By the age of eight, I started on a journey to discover why men sought to harm me and why I was so ugly, stupid and fat and I ravenously read every book I could find. That's a small peak into my childhood.
Skip forward...With all my education, I still ended up in toxic relationships. Why? I picked men with different careers, education levels and socio-economic backgrounds, but I still picked men who treated me badly.
The laws of attraction ruled my life. I only attracted those who hurt me as bad as I hurt myself. One day when I was socializing with people involved in American Football, the title, "Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time" began to develop in my head.
In order to write the book, I set out to interview men and women on the street to find out what their thoughts on relationships were. A year and a half later, I started on my own journey of self-discovery. It was then I realized I wasn't the ugly, fat, stupid person I always told myself I was. I was a kind person who struggled with my weight, but that didn't mean I deserved any less than the best.
It was also at that point I realized I was much happier being single. I started to practice self-love and I wrote and was happy. People would stop me on the street to tell me how much I glowed.
They say love comes when you least expect it, and it was during that time I met my soul mate. On our first date, we spent the entire afternoon through the next morning talking and laughing. The following day my mom called and I told her about the date stating firmly, "I'm not going to date him."
In that instant, something clicked and I changed my statement. "No way! I am going to date him." I made a choice (and you can too) to change my dating pattern. I was going to date the man who didn't have the element of "danger," which was the underlying current of all the other men I had dated.
What changed and how can you change your life to attract your soul mate? There are no magic pills and no words from others will change your life. You must make a decision and commitment to yourself to change. You really must love yourself before anyone else can.
Is my life perfect? No, but I am perfectly in love. I still struggle with self-esteem and my weight. When you're addicted to self-abusive behavior, it's something you must keep in check. It's a disease that will be a life-long struggle. I have to take it one day at a time.
I encourage you to work towards the best relationship you deserve. Read, study, but most of all, learn and practice self-love. Thank you for reading my story. I hope it helps you start on a new path of change. I wish you a great crossing into a life of love and happiness.
It is very important that you know yourself and what you want in life. Choosing what you want in life can only happen when you create a life based on your own particular design. This design reflects your own personal growth and the way you make them fall into different choices made by you in life, i.e. in relationships, career and jobs and so on.
Right Values, Right Goals As mentioned, your first necessary step towards your personal growth should be to identify yourself and your likes and dislikes. You should clearly demarcate a line between your needs and wants in life. For your personal growth, it is very necessary that you strengthen your strong suits and talents, a gift which you can identify yourself best. Everyone wants to achieve the best in life, give a push to their career as well as personal life. This can only be realized when you strengthen your core abilities and achieve a higher personal growth in life.
You attitude towards life and society in general is based on some values. Your values automatically are reflected in the way you present yourself to others. This forms an important aspect of your personal growth. When you as an individual contribute more towards your society and community, inspire others through your learning and values, admire beauty and stay connected, you already achieve a different position for yourself, a position, which is unique, and a position that contributes to your emotional, mental and personal growth.
We always, as individuals, set some priorities and goals for ourselves. We lead our lives based on these priorities. However, it is very necessary that these goal oriented priorities do not off sync with our values and ideas. Try not to pursue goals for the sake of pursuing it. This stagnates your personal growth. Therefore, it is always better to write down your goals, which you yourself can identify with and match it up with your values that define your true self. By focusing yourself to a particular set of goals, you can really motivate yourself to achieve what you want in life. It allows you to stay focused, clear in life, and identify your true self in the pursuit of personal growth.
Experiment with Life: Achieving your goals require commitment and a desire to work on those goals and spend time on them. Change can only take place when you are prepared to undertake certain risks and experiment with different aspects of life. This really shapes and contributes to one's personal growth. Experimenting with one's life is very important as it helps you in discovering many facets of life and simultaneously designs your life according to these experiences.
Remove the roadblocks that come on your way when you are designing your life according to your values and goals. Often people are unaware or unable in identifying and removing these blocks. They seek the help of a Personal Coach who helps them in exploring their opportunities, outside perspective and the possibilities of achieving their goal. They guide you through the necessary tools and structures that leave a profound and ever lasting impact on your life. In the long-term, you would reach the higher echelons of your personal growth.
Both Jaci Rae & Terence Young are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Jaci Rae has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, Dating and Romance and Home. Jaci Rae is a No. 1 Best Selling author of Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time. Book Jaci for your next show: