My partner abuses me mentally and physically - what should I do?
Agony Aunt Says:
Ask a dozen people and each one of them will give you as many opinions. Remember, they are opinions. Ultimately, you have to make a choice - it's your life.
Even full time professionals get it wrong from time to time because they often focus on what they are taught. They go through the "processes" and on occasions they forget that each case is unique; they forget they are dealing with real people. Fortunately, such mistakes are rare.
What would I do if I were placed in a situation that you describe?
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I would immediately ensure my personal safety.
If I face any immediate danger, I would call the authorities. Otherwise, I would move away from the threat and seek help from a lawyer. If necessary, the lawyer would take appropriate steps to stop the threats and the violence.
Of course, by consulting a lawyer, I know that I may be putting my relationship on the line as my partner may react adversely to this. But then the choice is between putting the relationship at risk or my personal and emotional well being.
Refuse to live in fear.
I take the view that mental and or physical violence is not acceptable - I have a zero tolerance for it.
A relationship only works properly when the parties respect human dignity.
If my partner doesn't respect me and uses violence, I would put my foot down on the very first occasion and say that if it happens once more, that will be the end of the relationship. If it happens a second time, I would end the relationship.
Violence doesn't have any place in a truly loving relationship.
Here's another important tip: most offenders carry on because victims keeps quiet.
Bring the violence out in the open - and your partner may change. If not, don't put up with it - you can do far better with your life; don't waste it behind violent creatures.
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