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Fear is one of the top culprits for making people unhappy. It has been the cause of wars, bitter rivalries, tyranny and despair for people all over the world. People have suffered in untold numbers because they let fear rule their lives while those who overcome fear have met with great success and accomplishment. If fear is keeping you from living the kind of life you've always wanted, you can change that. Here's how to improve your life skills:

1. Know what causes your fear. You'll never understand why you fear something if you don't know what it is and why you're scared of it in the first place. Identify what it is. Did you nearly drown as a kid that's why you're scared of water? Did you experience painful ridicule when you tried to perform publicly? Are you afraid to go do what you've always wanted because you've seen other people fail?

Fears like these nip newly formed dreams at the bud. They chew at people's self-confidence, breaking it down slowly but painfully. By knowing the whats and whys of your fear, you can plan ways to overcome them in a more effective and comfortable manner.

2. Keep your fears close. Whether it's a physical or mental source of fear, sometimes the best way to overcome it is to use desensitization. This is a method often used by psychologists to help their patients handle their fears. By getting used to the object or the situation, you get used to the 'idea' of fear and to the way you feel when you encounter it. Once you are 'desensitized' to fear, you begin to treat it like it's a normal part of your day-to-day life and not give it any special attention.

3. Start small by overcoming your fears one by one. Anybody can be overwhelmed by big things. If you must overcome your fear, do so in little steps. Your mind is more likely to accept an object of fear if you introduce it slowly but with certainty. Do not take more than you can handle comfortably. By experiencing small successes, you build inner strength and will.

4. Have a support group. It's important that you have people who can give you support and encouragement just when you need them most. People whom you trust can make you feel more comfortable knowing that you are 'backed up'.

Choose a group of people whose opinions you value and those who can encourage you to go bolder. Stay away from grouches or pessimists who will do more harm than good.

5. Don't try to be perfect. The ideals of perfection have many positive effects on the lives of people but they have also conversely affected many who have mistakenly thought that perfection was the only way to go. By keeping your expectations real, you don't feel the compulsion to be flawless. Fear is part of being human and once you've accepted that it will be part of your life, you'll be able to handle it better.

6. Don't feed fearful thoughts. Fears have a way of ballooning uncontrollably when you obsess about them. By thinking and worrying about how they can affect you, you make them seem bigger than they really are.

Try to think things through in a rational manner and keep your thoughts trained on opportunities instead. If you're afraid of selling, for example, don't focus on the rejections you might receive but on the possibilities of making a good sale.

7. Learn to relax. Fear can get to you more easily if you're anxious and hyped. By being calm and relaxed, you are better able to assess the situation and create a plan of action. By thinking straight, you train your mind to focus on what needs to be done and not on how fearful you feel.

8. Learn to say no and let go. Change is always disconcerting. It pulls us away from our comfort zone and forces us to tread on uncharted territory. But by learning to say 'no' to your fears and letting go, you are taking full responsibility of your actions, thereby preventing fear from affecting your decisions directly.

9. Have fun. Taking things too seriously will only increase your worries and make them bigger than they really are. By focusing on the fun aspect of a task or activity, you push away the worries and negative thoughts that would otherwise stop you from performing at your best.

10. Fear will come back from time to time, but be patient. It takes a lot of patience and persistence to keep it tame. Make it easy on your psyche to fight it off and overcome it by convincing yourself that you have better things to do than being scared.

If you assess your fears in an honest and straightforward manner, you will find that a huge percentage of them are unfounded and simply untrue. By simply acknowledging that fears will appear in your life sporadically, you are already taking the step to recognize your strengths to handle them.

Accept your fears but don't let them get the better of you. This is a key life skill. Overcoming them is the secret to living your life fully and realizing your hidden potential.