1. If I go to counseling, how long do I have to go? Answer: If you are seriously committed to working through your problems, you should expect to go once a week for at least two to five months.
2. Want to locate a good counselor? Start by getting names from any friends who have been thru counseling.
No luck there? Get membership lists from the American Psychological Association, The National Association of Social Workers or the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists of those who practice in your area. All these associations have members who are highly trained in counseling.
If that does not work, then look in the yellow pages under counselors, psychologists, social workers or marriage and family therapists. It can be helpful to find out more about a name you have received by first, getting more information.
Some therapists will agree to a free short five-minute telephone call with a prospective client, while others may not.
If you cannot speak to the counselor prior to making an appointment, leave one or two of your most important questions with the receptionist or on the answering machine and ask her (or him) to call you back with the answers.
3. Another commonly asked question is: Should I consult my minister for counseling? My answer is usually the same: If you want advice based on the counseling and psychological sciences, consult a professional therapist or psychologist.
On the other hand, if you are looking for religious advice, consult your minister, priest or rabbi. This is important because often the advice will be different.
4. If you have narrowed your search down to several therapists but cannot yet decide who to consult, consider making an initial appointment with each. Experienced professionals will usually cooperate because they know how important it is to have a good match between therapist and client.
Use this appointment to ask your questions and get a sense of the therapists style, personality, and areas of expertise.
Get an understanding of: Whether or not the therapist will always see you together or if you will sometimes be seen separately; the therapists general approach and style, realistic expectations of therapy, goals and the projected number of sessions it will take to achieve them.
6. Notice your intuitive feelings and gut reactions during your appointment. If you feel a rapport and connection with your therapist, you will have a better chance of making meaningful progress.
Client-therapist compatibility is important. A person with a sense of humor generally will not be able to relate well to a humorless therapist. In such cases, you may need to try another counselor with whom you are more compatible.
8. Schedule the first appointment at a time your spouse can attend. If one spouse meets with the therapist before the other, things may not get off to an even start.
Sometimes, the spouse who was unable to attend the initial consultation feels the therapist may be biased because the other spouse got to disclose his/her perspective first.
9. Keep the focus on learning as much as possible about yourself. This approach is less threatening than pointing fingers and making your spouse the bad guy.
After all, ultimately, the only person you can REALLY change is yourself. While you cannot control how your spouse uses the counseling, take advantage of this opportunity to improve yourself. Then you cannot lose!
10. Do the homework exercises your therapist may prescribe and practice and reinforce any positive changes you find yourself making. Remember, change does not occur just by talking; it requires action and actually doing things differently.
You learn by doing, identifying mistakes, correcting them and then re-doing. You are actually practicing new relationship skills. It takes time to replace old habits with new behaviors that have become established and second nature.
10. Write down questions and thoughts you have between counseling sessions and bring them up at your next visit for feedback. Then, before each appointment, review them and discuss the list of questions or comments with the counselor. This will help you not overlook important issues.
The difficulty of sleeping with someone that nightly snores, may easily seem to be such as a small deal to those that have never personally experienced the night after night regime of never ever getting fully uninterrupted sleep. But for those with the first hand experience are very willing to tell you how awful it truly is to have a spouse that is of the habitual snoring type. For so many spouses that are married to the one that they dearly love, but cannot physically sleep with them in the room due to the constant torturous noise coming uncontrollably, it is either move to the other room or always wear earplugs. For so many marriages, this scenario is only a recipe for eventual disastrous results between a husband and wife. Either way of separate rooms night after night or the never ending sleep deprivation issues that will eventually arise, there are going to be desperately needed solutions to the snoring problem within the marriage. Otherwise, there will be inevitable unintentional spats and complications to pop up either directly or indirectly whether the main cause of the nightly snoring is realized or not. Not only does snoring in a marriage first cause the one that does not snore constant distress, habitual snoring will also cause grumpiness for the one having to listen to it on a nightly basis, and even a less resting night's sleep for the one snoring too. For those that finally decide to move out of the shared bedroom, there may seemingly at first, be a few better nights' of rest, but this can be short lived by the eventual despair and loneliness that will at some point set in for both of those within the marriage. This may not at first seem fully understandable, but soon makes sense because of the loss of marital intimacy that always comes from sleeping apart. There are many reasons that married couples sleep together, and quiet uninterrupted evening hours together for intimate conversations, laughter and even tears all very good reasons for continuously keeping the closeness within a marriage strong and prosperous. With so many studies that are now being conducted directly upon those marriages with one spouse having a habitual snoring issue, it has finally been proven for the divorce rates to be ultimately one of the top reasons within these faltering marriages. Whether the snoring may for sure be known directly or indirectly the major reason for marriage problems, snoring has become one of the top killers of direct intimacy within most any marriage it haunts. If a snoring spouse is indirectly causing major grief within your marriage, it is never too late to briskly encourage them to find resolution to their problem. There are so many affordable and non-invasive anti-snoring techniques newly available nowadays; there is no excuse not to be seeking help. Over the counter anti-snoring products come in most every shape, form and even price range, so your dear loved one can more quickly find the perfect anti-snoring remedy just for them and the marriage that would eventually falter due to the nightly snoring. Learn more on www.asonor.com
Both Mike Shery & Renee A. Moller are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Mike Shery has sinced written about articles on various topics from Addictions, Cure Anxiety and Family. Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's an expert psychologist. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt or