Abusive relationship is a growing concern and should be more investigated for accountability. Men and women who are making their partners life a misery should be brought to justice and humiliated in public. Sorry it makes me angry. Having said that, how do you know your partner is an abuser? What are the warning signs you should look for?
Statistics(FBI) have proofed that abusers tend to be male who have had an excess of porn magazines/movies and are addicted to this kind of depraved needs. As in most porn, a woman is shown little respect and as such the viewer begins to believe and to takes note.
It is not about social, political, economic or inequalities. The survey results returned negative. There many factors and this is one of them.
Signs to watch out for:
Slaps, lots of verbal abuse, grabbing, holding, raising hands in anger. Pushing destroys your personal belongings, damages furniture and walls during a fight.
Stops you from seeing your friends or family. Shows extreme jealousy of others, make false statement against you. Physically forces you to have sex against your will. Threatens to hurt you if you do not obey. Stops you from going out with friends.
Complete control is their goal, so seek advice and if it occurred in recent times. Identify what the situation really is before you make your final decision as this can be a costly mistake. For instance their behavior patterns should be noted for sometime, before you pack your bags to leave.
It is unhealthy to be in such a relationship as it is demeaning to you and destroys your soulwork. The abuser becomes more narcissists in character believing in their new power.
In previous years and decades the system has failed to formulate a way of ironing out these people as it is seen as within closed doors and the saying your home is your castle does not help deep rooted, narrow minded authorities to deal with the issue.
Why do partners in abusive relationship stay? It might surprise you but it is human instincts why they choose to stay.
Dependency Fear being hounded for the rest of their life. Things will get better Fear of the unknown and failure Cultural, social, and religious values Love the abusive partner, possibility of change
How can you get out of this situation? Inform your family and friends who should then start visiting you on a more regular basis. If you do not have any family or friends (I hope not) pack your most essential items and leave when you can before he notices your absence. Run like hell to a safe place!
Visit your GP (doctor), go the police station or call the police. But in doing so the situation will worsen as the police will not act on it but only advice you. So, seek shelter in a womans refuge home or a friend, family. There are numerous places and you need to have a net connection to see the possibilities of having a normal and wonderful life again.
1) You did not make him/her do it or say it.
You probably know this from the core of your being, but may have trouble believing it with your thinking brain, due to the ongoing conditioning that happens in abusive relationships. With most things in the relationship?when the finger is pointed'it usually lands on the person with the less power.
And when that person owns the fault for whatever transgression is up for consideration, then rewards are bestowed upon them. This is where and how the conditioning occurs. Be mindful of it. And always know you can only be responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions; never for someone else's thoughts, feelings or actions.
2) You don't deserve to be punished or put in "your" place.
This is another way in which conditioning is accepted as the behavioral norm. While it is true that on some level conditioning occurs in all relationships, "negative reinforcement" conditioning is another story. That's what we do with criminals when we jail them. They are negatively punished for doing something not acceptable to society at large, or shall I say by the standards of law.
I see so many individuals who truly feel they are in the "dog house" when they have disobeyed the wants and wishes of their abusive partner. You can almost feel their tail between their legs when they talk about it. Pull yourself out of the doghouse. You don't deserve to be there.
3) You deserve to receive all that he/she demands you give to them.
It might not feel like such when you are enmeshed in an abusive relationship, but it is a fact that your "deserving-less-ness" is all made up. He/she made it up and so did you.
And as with the other standards and beliefs among couples in abusive relationships, your deserving-less-ness is nothing more than another "rule" driven home through conditioning. However, it is a more serious culprit because of its kinship to the power/control entitlement issues central to domestic abuse.
This may be obvious with your appreciation of the "power and control" issues inherent in abusive relationships. But even people who claim to understand this show signs of struggling with their deservingness, their worthiness.
I find that when people pull themselves out of the doghouse, discovering their worthiness follows. Knowing your worthiness and the boundaries of your responsibility to, and for, yourself are important keys to survival in an abusive relationship.
Both Charles Keel & Dr Jeanne King Phd are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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