Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience. It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.
Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.
Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.
If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.
Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.
You are in an early morning rush and want to reach office on time but your kid refuses to get up from the bed. You will try two or three times to get him out and if he does not you will simply get mad at him and scream. This is a power struggle between him and you to see who will win. You need to first discipline your behavior and not throw a fit every time he does that, even in a time crunch situation. The trick is to explain to him the importance of why you should be getting into the office at time and how you need his cooperation. Then make sure that the next morning you say to him in a very calm manner that he needs to get up as you are getting late for work. That will usually work, and if not, then stay calm and do not get angry.
Positive reassurances are a great way to deal with this kind of behavior so make sure that every time he does listen to you that you give him good compliments and shower your love on him. That way he will have hunger for more love and compliments, which means more discipline.
The other thing that you need to know is that you should not change your mind frequently. For example, if you said that no to TV after 9 o'clock at night then this rule does not change. Do not say no one day and then allow him to watch TV another day. That sends wrong signals so make sure that you are consistent throughout.
Punishment is something we should be careful about. Overdoing can be dangerous but under-doing can be dangerous too. You need to achieve right balance for punishment. You need to sure as to what kind of behavior is punishable and what is not. The key even there is that you are not struggling to stay calm if he does not listen to you. You should always deliver him the punishment in a cool clam collected manner.
Both Jerald Shapiro & Amit Kheterpal are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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