I believe no truer words were ever spoken. It is so hard to remain true to yourself if every message you hear, every person you know, everything you read, tell you you should be something else. In this great cacophony, it is all but impossible to hear that tiny voice inside you speaking your truth. Most of us never hear that voice until we've wasted years, maybe an entire lifetime, trying to live someone else's life.
Every day I meet women who've lived their lives for their children, men who've lived their lives for their employers, people who've lived their lives for their lovers or their friends or their families and are waiting for the big day when they will be rewarded with love or success or happiness. Any rewards they get are not enough because they haven't been true to themselves. If you hate the work you do, no matter how much you get paid, it will never be enough. If you are living your life for someone else, no matter how much they love you, it will never be enough. That's because no amount of money, no amount of love is worth the sacrifice of your life. Your task (and it's not an easy one) is to discover who you really are, and make the most of your gifts, your talents, and your life.
Why is this so hard? Because we have some impossible images we think we have to live up to. Go to a movie or watch television and see the perfect couple with the perfect children and the perfect bodies and the perfect house and the perfect cars. We are all experts at thinking everyone else has it together and we don't. We judge ourselves to be inadequate and constantly make ourselves miserable.
We keep listening to all the outside noise and desperately try to fit in, to meet these impossible standards, and we suppress the most important thing - the only thing that will bring us true happiness - being who we really are.
Being who you really are requires bravery because there is no road map. You have to find your own way. One guide I am sure of is pain. If you are hurting - you are not being true to yourself. If you hate your job, it is not where you belong. If your relationships make you feel bad, those are not the people you should be with. When you are happy, when you experience joy - then you are on the right path. It may not be the right path for anyone but you. That's okay; no one can take this journey for you. Many will try to get you to take the path they have chosen - to validate their choices. You have to find your own way and listen to your own heart; otherwise you are once again living someone else's life.
How to find yourself?
Follow joy, walk away from pain.
Experience solitude. Take some time to get to know who you are. Take a walk. Meditate. Just be alone for a while. Think.
Follow your curiosity - take a class, read a book, try something new. You can't find out who you truly are if you live the same life as your parents or your spouse or your friends. Discover YOUR life!
Don't hide - use your brain, express your opinions, laugh out loud, sing!
Your life should be a celebration of who you are, not a eulogy to everything you are not. You are a miracle - honor that by making the most of who you are.
How can we find laughter?
Studies have shown that laughter helps the body stay healthy but how can we learn to laugh? Being with other people will usually help keep a person happier than if they are isolated and studies have proven that laughter can be contagious so the more you are with others the more likelihood that you will be laughing. Some or all of the following can be effective.
Watch comedy shows on television. Not every comedy show will make you laugh but there are a lot of comedy shows to choose from and there are a lot of funny sitcoms that are on at least once a week. There are also shows that show funny video clips of real life happenings that are very amusing. Finally there are cartoon shows. Cartoons are not always intended for children but are for adult audiences.
Choose a comedy when having a night at the movies, whether it is at home or at the theatre. Go with a friend to the movies. The contagious effects of laughter may make you laugh more then if you go alone. Later on you can talk about the movie and laugh even more. Those who are not in the habit of laughing might not be spending enough time talking to others or being in groups. According to research, we are about 30 times more unlikely to laugh out loud when alone, even when viewing a funny TV show or movie. If you socialize with people who are upbeat and have a good sense of humor, you can increase your laugh quotient.
Try to find humor in your life instead of complaining. Try to laugh when little things go wrong. Tell your family or friends what happened in a funny manner and listen to them laugh as well. Even if you have to fake laughter it will make a positive difference to you and after time it should become easier to laugh. Laughing with your spouse can actually improve communication between the two of you.
Sometimes things seem very bleak but that is the time you need laughter the most. Think how ridiculous the situation you are in is by blowing it totally out of proportion and when it becomes absurd you should begin to smile.
Buy a laughter tape and listen to it when things seem depressive. 60 minutes of constant laughter may seem a bit much but most people find themselves laughing before the tape has ended. Read the comics in the daily newspaper or buy comic books to read. No one is ever too old to read jokes or look at cartoons. Buy a book of jokes or surf the internet to find the joke sites or humorous photos. There are lots of free or low cost joke site online.
Laughter is contagious. When you are in a crowd and one person starts to laugh then others will join in even though they don't know the reason for the laughter. Robert Provine wrote in the American Scientist Online ? ?Consider the bizarre events of the 1962 outbreak of contagious laughter in Tanganyika. What began as an isolated fit of laughter (and sometimes crying) in a group of 12- to 18-year-old schoolgirls rapidly rose to epidemic proportions. Contagious laughter propagated from one individual to the next, eventually infecting adjacent communities. The epidemic was so severe that it required the closing of schools. It lasted for six months.?
Both Denise Ryan & Irene Sherwood are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Denise Ryan has sinced written about articles on various topics from Energy Healing, Cars and self improvement and motivation. Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger